Venus, the planet of love, moves and mashes volcanic Pluto. Dreams of fame wind up on the cutting-room floor or in the National Enquirer. Wish upon a star, friends, but be careful of what you wish; Melodious can turn malodorous the morning after.
ARIES Expect the unexpected in any travel plans when Venus changes signs and pokes Pluto. Reconfirm reservations and travel with carry-ons. Even then, things go astray, gay Ram. But if you travel with a friend, you will never be without a toothbrush ...
TAURUS Want to see how quickly a hunk transforms into a troll? Wait until lusty Venus slides into Pluto. Choose well-lit bars, queer Bull, so you see who cruises by. You want to welcome 2003 in with a bang, but do it with a torpedo and not a wet firecracker.
GEMINI Some of you may wonder if you are getting as much as you are giving. Let the dander settle a bit before you let the fur fly. Other pink Twins take a trip to the moon on gossamer wings, but surly Pluto and Venus makes it just one of those things.
CANCER The temptation is to go overboard when delightful Venus moves and sparks Pluto. The pull of the extreme will lead you close to the edge, even at work. Gay Crabs ache to take unnecessary risks but streaking through the office should not be one of them.
LEO Proud Lions must temper their intake of addictive additives this week when Venus and Pluto shift the landscape. But for those romantic souls who wear their hearts on their sleeves, this transit provides an appreciative receiver. Will they call you afterwards?
VIRGO Queer Virgins are anxious to mend bridges with family as the Venus / Pluto conjunction manifests. Wait until February before you pass out olive branches and release the doves. Your dreams and desires out-weigh your sense of timing. Debut next month.
LIBRA Folks hang on your every word when delicious Venus shifts and conjuncts persuasive Pluto. Don't waste your planetary gift on mere gab, proud Libra. Alas, this verbal jolt will soon pass and too soon, you'll be back to soft banter and muzac.
SCORPIO The urge is to spend, spend, spend but save, save, save instead. Even risky investments are a no, no, no now. Gay Scorps should act like bears not bulls and wait until this transit clears before they pass the cash. Examine the bottom line in four weeks.
SAGITTARIUS Venus conjuncts Pluto in your own sign sending gay Archers into fits of panic. So many opportunities appear on your plate, you don't know which one to bite first. Soon you can discern treasure from trash. Hmm, aren't some of you into trash?
CAPRICORN Get involved in good gay charities, but be sure that your efforts are put towards the greatest effect. Problems with this transit are wasted effort, false starts and and lack of impact. By the end of the month though, you're a Goat to be reckoned with.
AQUARIUS Don't count on friends to be there when you need 'em. The best that Aqueerians can expect is a jolly time with more grog to grog the memory. Pals are apt to leave you slumped in your messy, groggy pile as they head off to the next sordid adventure.
PISCES You impressed your boss, but not in the way you think, Guppie. Thankfully this transit is transitory. Pick yourself up off the bottom rung, dust yourself off and try kissing up the ladder again next month. Bosses have lousy memories these days anyway.