March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb? Heck no! March is one loud, proud month, my friends. As Uranus makes its way into Pisces on the 10th and the Sun ambling into uncompromising Aries on the 22nd, the only lamb I see is steaming hot and roasted. Let us welcome roasty, toasty March this week.
ARIES Venus turns on the charm from the 4th to 28th and pals can't get enough of you. Uranus and Sun have a better idea; before the 22nd explore your inner wilde side and after that go forth to seek your fortune in greener pastures. Err, better make that pink!
TAURUS The Sun gives you personality plus through mid-month while Venus helps you charm all corporate snakes. After the 22nd, though, you are content to contemplate your navel. So how about contemplating a compadre's navel instead, queer Bull?
GEMINI Expecting a surprise or two in your career? Of course not, gay Twin! But as Uranus moves into Pisces, professional cherry bombs explode. They clear a path until the 22nd when Sun whips up your social cream to a froth. Save one cherry bomb!
CANCER If you are itching to travel, March is the month to scratch away. Pink Crabs expand their influence with all sorts of exotic strangers. Good timing; After the 22nd you are prepared to swim with corporate sharks. Is shark fin soup on the menu or boiled Crab?
LEO Proud Lions are roaring to make changes in their partnerships as zesty Uranus sparks a series of reappraisals. You hold a tiger by the tail mid-month when Uranus shifts and Sun enters Aries. That may be the only tail you get for the rest of the month!
VIRGO Planets sharpen your pencil and push your paperclip. Clear off your desk and accomplish all you can before Uranus enters foggy Pisces and shakes up relationships. Your mind will be on mergers and acquisitions. Seek a well-endowed benefactor. Ahem.
LIBRA Achieve perfection while Sun highlights general wellness. Pink Libras are ready, willing and able to cash in on the benefits of all this buffing and preening. Single Scales tip over for a heavyweight while married ones achieve greater balance.
SCORPIO A pride parade of planets posits in your party playpen so don't poop out. Enjoy every dissipated moment while it lasts. By the 22nd, your attention is turned to the job. Not a moment too soon; retro Pluto crimps your bank book. Get off your assets and get to work.
SAGITTARIUS Uranus goads you to say one more thing one last time. Thank goodness it moves into Pisces on the 10th and unleashes your uncontrollable tongue behind closed doors. Life re-engages after the 22nd when you trot Out into the general melee. Enjoy it cowpoke.
CAPRICORN Gay Caps are eager for Uranus to move out of their money sector but after the 10th, you are more apt to create an international brouhaha. Beat a hasty retreat after the 22nd and content yourself with a domestic agenda. How about partnership benefits?
AQUARIUS Aqueerians are awash with great new ideas and people. But make your move while planets provide impetus and financial grease. By the 22nd all bets are off; Uranus spends to the hilt and Sun prefers talk to action. Sigh! Ain't that the way it usually is?
PISCES Guppies are pushed Out into the limelight when Uranus provides the propellant. Hang on compadre and make a big splash. By the 22nd, attention focuses on the bottom line. Money may not buy happiness but it buys enough champagne to float your dingy.