Best Christmas Song Ever
'Silent Night' — Tracy
'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' — Peter
'I Saw Daddy Fisting Santa Claus' — Rick
"Santa, Baby" by Eartha Kitt — Joan
"Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses and "There Just Won't Be A Christmas This Year" sung by Catherine Smitko, written by John Kamys — Gregg
"Santa Baby" and "O Holy Night" — Andrew
Worst Christmas Song Ever
'Oh Come All Ye Faithful ... But Not Too Quickly, Damn It!' — Rick
Anything sung by Amy Grant or Bebe & Cece Winans — Gregg
"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" — Andrew
'Wonderful Christmastime' — graysong
Worst Holiday Gift
EverLeopard-print thong — Andrew
George Bush Jr. — Tracy
A few years ago, some goofball gave me a buttplug. — Joan
Pinup gal radio whose nipples were volume and tuning knobs — Rick
Best Holiday Gift Ever
A purple Schwinn 5-speed bike with a banana seat, red-wall tires, streamers and a sissy bar. I got it when I was 12, and I wish to fuck I had it now. — Joan
A Democrat for President — Tracy
Marlboro Lights and a fistful of peep show tokens — Rick
Tuning knob nipples? I have to go for Rick's radio. That's so tasteless I'm damp. — graysong
Alternative name for Baby JesusBarbarella Trixie-Belle Bush — Sukie
Baby Rex — Tracy
Mini-Jee — Andrew
Lil' Light Bulb Head — Rick
Xmas message to Saddam Hussein
Better watch out NOW for those weapons of mass destruction ... right behind you — Tracy
All you need for Christmas is a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy makeover. My God, that hair!! — Rick
"Merry F***'in' Christmas!!!" — Andrew
Enjoy your trip up shit creek — Sukie