This Week we asked our mafiosos 'If you were the judge in the Runaway Bride case, What punishment would you render?'
peter's Top Five
5. Eat everything on FearFactor for a week.
4. Wax Danny DeVito's back.
3. Scrub all the Market Days porta-potties clean.
2. Teach Dubya some geography.
1. Make her mow the lawn again... with scissors.
creaoke's Top Five
5. Marry the Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire guy.
4. Donate all her wedding gifts to Howard Brown.
3. Bake cookies and cakes for every person that went looking for her.
2. Pay back all the money spent while looking for her by holding a public
spanking as a pay-per view.
1. Private Jennifer Wilbanks, USMC fighting in Iraq.
andrew's Top Five
5. Mow the White House grass. ( Give her a REAL lawn! )
4. Oh, what the hell—have her mow Grant Park as well.
3. Have her promote gay marriage so we can also be runaway brides.
2. Time in the clink with Sweaty Betty.
1. Make her marry Tom Cruise.
Kirk's Top Five
5. Stop smoking crack.
4. Become Michael Musto's wet nurse.
3. Give 10% off all revenue from book deals, movie deals, etc. to Kirk
2. Stop smoking crack ( she smokes a lot of crack ) .
1. Marry that dump of a fiancée.
Lisa's Top Five
5. Sell corn dogs for the county fair.
4. Get a mullet.
3. Do admissions at the women's shelter.
2. Clean the showers at the local women's prison—naked.
1. Listen to R. Kelly for 12 hours straight.
graysong's Top Five
5. Make her get those bug-eyes fixed.
4. Personal stamp-licker for the next big wedding down there.
3. I think Osama needs another wife.
2. One year of wearing nothing but bridesmaid's dresses.
1. Nothing. WTF? A person can't just take off around here anymore? It's rude; it's not criminal.