Sarah Posner, in an article in the Chicago Sun-Times ( 2/9 ) , points out that pastor ( ? ) Ted Haggard's abrupt swerve to, ahem, complete heterosexuality was well received by religious conservatives because they just love a good conversion story. She quotes Alan Sears, the head of the Focus on the Family-affiliated Alliance Defense Fund, whose book The Homosexual Agenda: Exposing the Principal Threat to Religious Freedom Today, re-inforces so-called homosexual recruitment as a kind of conversion ( so why not convert them back? ) . The book says it all starts with exposure to SpongeBob SquarePants and moves on to the abolition of marriage. Anyone want to start a betting pool as to how long before Mr. Haggard 'falls' from grace?
From the 'Yeah-I'm-Gay-And-What-Are-You-Going-To-Do-About-It?' file, the Chicago Tribune ( 2/11 ) reports on the one and only son of the maharajah and maharani of Rajpipla, Manvendra Singh Gohil, who has come out of an arranged marriage to announce his gayness. ( Hmm...that's not a bad royal title: His Gayness. ) His parents tried to disinherit him but civil lawyers say that won't work in India; it's him or nobody. He has been working ( for the first time in his life ) as an HIV counselor to other gay men. Go, Prince!
Speaking of things princely, the New York Times ( 2/11 ) interviewed Gert Jonkers, an editor/publisher of Butt magazine, a Dutch ( in English, tho' ) gay literary rag with pornish pix overtones. Mr. Jonkers was asked what he owned that was both lascivious and plain. He came up with his threefold Hermes wallet. The sexy side is probably its $455 price tag.
From the 'Yup-Natural' file, the Chicago Sun-Times ( 2/11 ) features an article on an exhibit at the Oslo Natural History Museum: 'Against Nature?' The exhibit shows many of the animals that regurlarly show their gay side. We're not talking two species here but over 1,500 types of animals so far, including giraffes, American bison, the walrus, gray whales, chimpanzees and, the star of the show, the black swan. 'One-fifth of all black swans are in same sex relationships, and one-fourth of all black swan families are headed by gay parents.' One can assume this is natural because '... flaming male ostriches ... [ aren't ] ... luring younglings into a life of debauchery ... with Jell-O shots and disco music.'
Well, it's time to run for president again but there's a new factor to consider: YouTube. At one time the candidate's foot-in-mouth gaffe was the three-day flu. Now it just goes on and on: Consider Garrison Keillor's column in the Chicago Tribune ( 2/14 ) that points out Rudy Giuliani's appearance in drag in 2000, at which time ( of all people ) Donald Trump flirted with him and kissed Rudy's ( we assume, fake ) boobs. Laugh all you like ( actually Rudy doesn't look too bad ) , but this may affect his percentages as thousands—and maybe millions—just keep clicking him up.