In light of the recent tragedy in Aurora, Colo., I'd like to share my thoughts with you on what's wrong with this country. Because I'm a total idiot, and I assume you want to hear what I have to say, which of course is the truth. That's why I'm going to post this on Facebook and hope you fight with me over my rant so I feel important.
First, it's a tragic state of affairs when the country's far-right encourages the kind of violence that occurred in Aurora by allowing people to have guns. Clearly if we didn't have guns psychopaths would not dress up like the Joker and go on killing sprees. This is the fault of the second amendment and Obama should make it all better by smiling.
Anyone who votes for Romney clearly wants people to go into movie theaters and kill people.
Also, corporations encourage this kind of behavior by funding violent movies. They know that showing you violent actions on the screen will get you to buy tickets to their movies and pad their selfish wallets. What they don't care about is the fact that these movies cause people to become mentally ill, dress up like the Joker and go into theaters and kill people. If they weren't so greedy we wouldn't have otherwise normal people booby-trapping their apartments a la a deranged, grown-up Kevin McAllister from Home Alone. On drugs.
Corporations are bad and greedy and therefore we should expect the government to get rid of them, by having Obama smile.
Also, the media sucks. They have nothing better to do with their time than give attention to horrors like this. They hang around all day waiting for bad things to happen so they can clog up the Web, TV and radio space with stupid nonsense about where this type of behavior comes from and who is to blame. I'm taking time to talk about this because I know the difference between just trying to make money via sensationalism and actually expressing a valid point, right here on Facebook where it will make a difference to the people who haven't hidden me from their newsfeed.
If the media really cared about the world they would all quit their jobs and become public school teachers. The media just wants your money.
Money is evil, which is why I mismanage mine and get mad at people who are wise with theirs.
I know about these things because I've been around a long time and am a total idiot. Go on, tell me I'm wrong! Reply to this Facebook post so I can fight with you from behind my computer and feel like I have a voice in this world, which I am otherwise petrified of. Tell me I'm stupid, that you love Romney, eat at Chick-fil-A and that guns aren't the problem. Please tell me something to give me a morsel of encouragement so I can feel less embarrassed about sharing all this. Or just click "like."
I haven't left my mom's basement since my last job interview in 2009.
When you reply to my post with your right-wing vitriol (and I secretly hope I challenge you into doing so by using words like "vitriol," which I learned on Words with Friends), you will only fuel my fire because giving me attention for these rants will justify my taking the time to fart them out in the first place.
If you don't post a comment it's because you hate Obama, his smile, gay people and Batman.
Follow Homer on Twitter @HomerMarrs
