The best way to deal with Fred Phelps, I've always thought, was simply to ignore him.
After all, he doesn't have any formal theological training, and his "church" consists of himself as leader, a gaggle of his own children, and some 50-plus grandkids.
But now there's a better way to deal with Fred: Make money off him. It's an idea that has swept the country in the past two months and raised thousands of dollars for local gay and lesbian organizations.
Fred, as you will recall, is the Topeka, Kan., gay-hating zealot who travels the country picketing everything from gay-friendly churches or businesses to AIDS funerals. He claims to have protested more than 20,000 spots throughout the nation. Anyone or any group that does anything remotely gay-positive-;from offering domestic-partner benefits to passing a local nondiscrimination law-;can trigger a visit by Fred.
He thrives on media attention and riling members of the gay and lesbian community. Indeed, one of the ways he finances his cross-country treks is through lawsuits against individuals, organizations and municipalities who try to interfere with his demonstrations of hate.
So let him protest, I've always thought. Just don't give him the satisfaction of paying any attention.
Turns out, however, there is a much better way to cope with Fred. It involves publicizing his appearances, and even paying for him to show up. It's such a remarkable idea, in fact, Fred may start getting invitations from gay and lesbian groups everywhere.
The notion is the brainchild of Keith Orr, owner of Aut Bar in Ann Arbor, Mich. In February, Fred planned a trip to town to protest the University of Michigan's annual "queer visibility week" on campus. As a sideshow, Fred scheduled a picket on Saturday, Feb. 17, in front of Aut, the town's only full-time gay and lesbian bar.
Keith remembers logging onto his computer one morning in February and opening an e-mail from a friend. The e-mail contained a link to Fred's Web page, where he posts his upcoming activities.
When Keith saw it was just a matter of days before Aut was to be a target of Fred's road show, he at first groaned. "Gosh," he thought, distressed. "We really don't need this."
But as he pondered Fred's upcoming appearance, he realized, "people will want a way to react. He's hard to ignore, with his signs that proclaim 'God Hates Fags' and 'AIDS is God's Curse.' He pushes emotional buttons, and a lot of people will feel they want to do something other than just sit around on their hands while he spews venom."
That's when Keith came up with a clever plan for the gay and lesbian community to profit from Fred's notoriety. If Fred was going to show up and spout his rancor, why not cash in on it. Literally.
Keith sent an e-mail to 270 of his customers, announcing he intended to pledge $1 for every minute of Phelps' hour-long protest in front of Aut Bar. He would donate the money to the Washtenaw Rainbow Action Project, the local GLBT community center and advocacy group. In his e-mail, Keith encouraged others to join the pledge drive. Participants were free to cap their pledges, so Fred wouldn't bust their bank. He also emphasized that anyone could participate, even those on a low budget. The size of the pledge was secondary to the sense of action.
Within minutes, pledges started pouring into Keith's e-mail box, ranging from 10 cents to $5 per minute. Most were local, but thanks to the Internet, word of the campaign spread fast. Pledges soon began arriving from such far-away places as Florida, Massachusetts and California.
Saturday afternoons are usually sleepy at the Aut Bar. But by 4 p.m. on Feb. 17, about 140 people crammed into the 1,200-square-foot space to make good on their pledges and show each other support. Most patrons arrived up to a good half hour or so before Fred's 4:30 p.m. start time, so they wouldn't have to cross his nasty picket line. Inside the bar, the mood was jovial, even celebratory. It was an amazing transformation: Fred's presence, so often the cause of anguish, had been turned into a triumph for the local gay and lesbian community.
Before Fred and his cronies packed up their malice, Keith Orr had collected about $7,500 in pledges.
Word of this brilliant plan soon followed Fred on his trail of malevolence. A March appearance in Las Vegas raised $1,000. Fred's April 2 showing in Madison, Wisc., netted $6,000 for a gay group there. His scheduled April 21 appearance in Topeka-;to protest the city's symphony, which he just assumes must be filled with homos-;is being met by a pledge drive titled "Every Minute Counts."
Keith has now become the unofficial Fred Phelps pledge drive consultant, offering free advice to groups all around the country on how to cash in on a Fred siting. Keith says he gets daily e-mails asking for hints on how to organize and carry out the plan. Most recently, he's heard from organizers in San Antonio, San Francisco and Boston.
"Of course, I'd rather Fred just stayed home," admits Keith. "But as long as he's going out, let's use him to raise money and build local gay and lesbian communities."
NOTE: You can reach Keith Orr at AutBar@aol.com .
Dahir receives email at MubarakDah@aol.com