THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: A malicious, 90-minute anti-gay joke that is sure to appeal to fans of morning FM-radio shock jocks. Homophobic stoners Jay ( Jason Mewes ) and Silent Bob ( writer/director Kevin Smith ) set off on an idiotic odyssey that transports them from their home-base in front of a convenience store in New Jersey to the Miramax lot in Hollywood where they hope to prevent the making of a movie based on the comic book characters Bluntman and Chronic, both of whom are based on Jay and Silent Bob. Along the way the weed/dick/fart-joke driven duo encounter several bizarre characters including an oral sex-friendly hitchhiker, a nun, drug dealers, movie stars, a racist movie director, a flaky Federal Wildlife Marshall, a liberated orangutan and a quartet of "walking/talking bad girl cliches" who are also international jewel thieves. What openly gay director Gus Van Sant and openly gay E! commentator Steve Kmetko are doing in this flick is anyone's guess. At one point in the action, after watching Jay and Silent Bob jump into a sewer to escape law enforcement officers, it occurred to me that a sewer was the perfect setting for this putrid piece of cinematic shame. On a scale of 1 to 10: 0 ( Wide release )

American Pie 2: Sexual debacles, golden showers, "possible lesbians," and what happens when a person mistakes "super glue" for lubricant, are some of the tasteless ingredients in this ho-hum and homophobic sequel to the 1999 teen hit comedy. Not even the same-sex sexual hijinks involving male cast members, Stiffler a/k/a "Mr. Homophobic Wizard" ( Seann William Scott ) and Jim ( the increasingly unappealing Jason Biggs ) make this painfully post-freshman-year of college comedy any easier to digest. Director James B. Rogers previously worked as first assistant director on a couple of Farrelly Brothers films and it shows. Long before Jim, the "band geek who never joined the band," comes to terms with his true ( and predictable ) attraction, the audience will realize that the filling in this pie is rancid. On a scale of 1 to 10: 2 ( Wide release )

Osmosis Jones: If you're the kind of parent or guardian ( or aunt or uncle ) who feels like it's never too early to indoctrinate children into the wide world of gross-out and bodily function humor, this part live-action, part animated feature from the Farrelly ( There's Something About Mary ) Brothers is just the thing for the youngsters in your midst. Irresponsible father Frank ( Bill Murray ) has terrible eating habits and little regard for his hygiene, but he still has to take care of his daughter Shane ( Elena Franklin ) following the death of her mother. Lucky for him, renegade white blood cell Osmosis Jones ( voice provided by Chris Rock ) , fondly referred to as the "germinator," is looking out for Frank from the inside. However, Jones has his work cut out for him when the deadly Thrax ( Laurence Fishburne's voice ) arrives in Frank's bloodstream. Paired up with cold tablet Drix ( the wonderful David Hyde Pierce ) , the dynamic duo set out to save the day, and more importantly, Frank. The animated "interior" portion of this Farrelly Brothers fantasia is much better than the live-action part. It's hard to tell if Frank's discomfort is brought on by his illness or the fact that he has to share on-screen time with Bob ( the dreadful Chris Elliott ) . Poor Molly Shannon ( as Shane's teacher ) is the recipient of projectile vomiting and the pus from an angry zit, both courtesy of Frank. On a scale of 1 to 10: 4.5 ( Wide release )

The Others ( Dimension ) : Remember when they made supernatural horror films without special effects? This foggy and eerie haunted mansion movie...which is equal parts The Sixth Sense, Rebecca, Poltergeist, and Burnt Offerings...is a decent reminder. Grace ( Nicole Kidman ) lives with her young children...daughter Anne ( Alakina Mann ) and son Nicholas ( James Bentley ) ...in a secluded Victorian mini-castle on one of the Channel Islands, in post-World War II Britain. A trio of servants...housekeeper/nanny Mrs. Mills ( Fionnula Flanagan ) , gardener Mr. Tuttle ( Eric Sykes ) , and mute Lydia ( Elaine Cassidy ) ...arrives at her door shortly after her previous staff mysteriously disappeared, looking for work. Desperate for help in maintaining her massive home, Grace hires them, but not before instructing them in the strict manner in which her home is run. It seems that little Anne and Nicholas are severely photosensitive and all curtains must be drawn during daylight hours, and all doors must remain locked. Prone to migraines and madness, Grace is also still coming to terms with the death of her husband Charles, who was believed to have been killed in the war. The Others maintains a respectable level of serious psychological terror, although it doesn't completely avoid silliness. On a scale of 1 to 10: 6.5 ( Wide release )

On TV:

In The Life ( PBS, Sunday, Sept. 2, Midnight ) : The September edition of the Emmy-nominated TV newsmagazine In The Life is a special "best of" show. Hosted by Tony Award-winning actress Cherry Jones, the program features six significant segments. First reported on in 1998, the "Children's Books, Adult Battles" piece focuses on the scandal that arose when First Baptist Church pastor Robert Jeffress "held hostage" the books Heather Has Two Mommies and Daddy's Roommate from the library in Wichita Falls, Texas. Other segments include a piece on the film Parting Glances, which launched the careers of, among others, Steve Buscemi ( Reservoir Dogs, Ghost World ) and The Drew Carey Show's Kathy Kinney, who said of Parting Glances that it was "still important because it gives you permission to just live your life"; China: Communism and Culture looks at the two strongest forces in China at the time of the hand-over of Hong Kong to China, and features interviews with once-jailed Chinese gay activist Gary Wu, among others; a 1996 feature on two gay men who were named "Foster Parents of The Year" in Iowa; a 1999 bit about Judy Garland and the Stonewall Riots, and whether there was a link or if it was just coincidental that the birth of gay liberation occurred at the time of her death; and a news segment on AIDS at 20, which features Larry Kramer and Kevin McGruder.