The recent responses of two different children's publishing companies when asked about LGBTQ inclusion in their magazines offer us several takeaways about representation of our families.
It started when Kara Desiderio wrote to Highlights Magazines to express disappointment that her daughter did not see two-mom families like hers in the pages of Hello, Highlights' title for toddlers. Her spouse, Kristina Wertz, followed up with a note on Highlights' Facebook page, saying in part, "There is a deep need for books that positively reflect back the diversity of the world around us and I hope that Highlights embraces that diversity because we would love to keep it in our little one's life as she grows."
Highlights' initial response, however, seemed focused more on the fears of straight parents than on including the children of same-sex ones: "We understand your wish to see your family's situation represented in Highlights Hello. For much of our readership, the topic of same-sex families is still new, and parents are still learning how to approach the subject with their children, even the very little ones. We believe that parents know best when their family is ready to open conversation around the topic of same-sex families."
The first takeaway, then, is that 37 years after the first children's book in the U.S. to show a lesbian relationship ( Jane Severance's When Megan Went Away, 1979 ) and 44 years after the first television movie to depict a gay dad ( That Certain Summer, 1972 ), media companies should stop worrying so much about offending the sensibilities of those who still want to pretend LGBTQ families don't exist, or think that talking about us means talking about sex.
Highlights added that it was important to them "that every child feels that Highlights is truly for them. We will continue to think deeply about inclusionspecifically, how to address it in developmentally appropriate ways for our broad audience."
Cue hundreds of further comments on Highlights' Facebook page urging representation of LGBTQ families. Author Megan Dowd Lambert ( who has written several lesbian- and gay-inclusive children's books ) launched the #HighlightLGBTFamilies hashtag to aid the effort.
One could see Highlights being dragged along the learning curve. In one response to a Facebook commenter, they said, "It has always been a discussion of 'when'—not 'if'—Highlights would feature a LGBTQ family in our magazines." They eventually issued an official statement saying, "We know that there are many ways to build a family, and that love is the essential 'ingredient.' This conversation has helped us see that we can be more reflective of all kinds of families in our publications. We are committed to doing so as we plan future issues." The second takeaway, then, is that companies can change, especially if we offer them constructive feedback and personal examples of the effects of their actions.
I decided to do some comparative investigation, and reached out to Cricket Media, another children's magazine powerhouse. The difference was clear. Stephanie Hoaglund of Cricket's media relations department told me, "We have indeed shown LGBTQ families and stories. Our magazines continually feature content that tries to honestly represent the experiences of kids today." She noted that Cicada, their magazine for teens, "continually strives to represent teens in the LGBTQ and other underrepresented groups," and that Cricket Magazine, for kids nine to 14, "also has many examples." She pointed out a January 2015 letter to the magazine from a girl who proudly noted she had two moms.
Additionally, a family tree activity in Cricket, while it showed a traditional mom-dad tree, also made provision for other structures, telling readers, "What if your family has two dads or two moms? Just draw them in!" That's a startalthough I think saying "Parent" and "Parent" from the beginning would have been better. This brings us to takeaway three: Even allies can still learn. And while Cicada and the company's online teen forum have published many LGBTQ-inclusive pieces, including one about drag queens and another about a bisexual teen, the LGBTQ content for younger ages is still sparse, despite the above examples.
Daniel Resner, associate editor of Cricket Media's Spider magazine for six- to nine-year-olds, later left a comment on my blog, noting, "I very much agree our younger magazines have room to improve. The first step is acquiring the contentand we welcome writers from all underrepresented groups, including LGBTQIA+ folks, to submit stories, poems, etc.!
He added via e-mail that Spider "would love to see age-appropriate stories featuring families and gender identities of all kinds" and "I would be thrilled to see manuscripts directly or indirectly featuring non-heteronormative families in thoughtful, graceful ways."
The final takeaway, then, is that herein lies an opportunity. Over the past decade, I've seen many LGBTQ parents try to self-publish children's stories that reflect their families. Some are great, but many could benefit from an editor and/or a professional illustrator. Others don't have the resources to market widely. Rainbow Rumpus, an online magazine for children with LGBTQ parents, seems to be on hiatus. And while we want stories for and about our families, many of us also want quality, engaging reads that also build literacy skills. If mainstream publishers like Cricket are willing to reach out to us for our stories and help us bring them to life, then it's a win-win all around.
Put pen to paper or fingers to keys, then, or turn on a recorder the next time you tell your child a bedtime story. Let's help publishers like Cricket and yes, Highlights, make sure they have the content to reflect our authentic voices and our diversity.
Dana Rudolph is the founder and publisher of Mombian ( mombian.com ), a GLAAD Media Award-winning blog and resource directory for LGBTQ parents.