Despite the painful setbacks at the United Methodist Church's ( UMC ) general conference over two weeks ago, one Chicago couple can look back at one beautiful moment that they will cherish forever.
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Julie Bruno and Sue Laurie wed. Photo from Reconciling Ministries Network Web site
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Chicago's Julie Bruno and Sue Laurie made headlines when they were married on May 2 in General Worth Square, a park across the street from the United Methodist Church's 2008 General Conference in Fort Worth, Texas. The two, who called their relationship with the United Methodist Church 'both blessing and burden,' tied the knot in front of friends, family and the church to not only affirm their love for one another, but also in protest of the UMC's refusal to change its policy that calls same-sex relationships 'incompatible with Christian teaching.' Now that media coverage has died down, and the two are back at home, they have had time to reflect on this monumental milestone in their 25-year relationship.
The two felt that having friends, family and 'church family' at their wedding was the highlight of their wedding ceremony. They described the positive vibes felt that day as outweighing any disappointment and harsh set backs felt over the years because of the UMC's policies regarding gay and lesbian people.
'I knew it would be wonderful to have our church family there, but it was amazing to have them gathered,' Bruno said. 'The spirit of the ceremony was just overwhelmingly good,' she continued. 'It was the best of our families together.
Laurie is the national outreach coordinator for Reconciling Ministries Network, a grassroots organization that calls for the full participation of LGBT people in the life of the UMC. Bruno is a social worker. Both are members of the United Church of Rogers Park.
The United Methodist Church has played a large role—both positive and negative—in both of their lives over the years.
Bruno and Laurie are from Western Pennsylvania, and actually met in church. In 1982, they met at a UMC bible study.
Bruno was born and baptized in the United Methodist Church.
'I'm not whole unless I'm connected to a church community,' Bruno said.
The UMC has also had a significant impact on Laurie's life. After years of teaching, Laurie decided to take the call to ministry. Laurie received her Master of Divinity degree in 1995, and was denied ordination because she is open about her sexual orientation. Church law prohibits gays and lesbians from being ordained as ministers.
Despite any setbacks, the couple refuses to deny the positive role church has had in their lives.
'The good experiences of church do outweigh the bad,' Laurie said. 'To see the church in weaker moments is distressing, but it doesn't ring true for me because I've had such wonderful, solid and positive experiences.'
For a long time, although many knew of their relationship, the two were 'fairly closeted.' Having a ceremony never crossed their minds, but on their 10-year anniversary, while living in Evanston, they exchanged rings with each other.
'We had a few friends with us, and we joked that we couldn't have a ceremony now because we wanted credit for the first 10 years,' Laurie said, laughing.
'To not be able to have one in a Methodist church took away for us, too,' Bruno added.
The two said that they let go of the idea after a while. Not being able to wed in the Methodist church or have one of their clergy friends officiate the ceremony turned them off of the idea. However, they saw the general conference as a way to wed in a church setting. Roughly 300 Reconciling Ministries Network volunteers were gathered at the conference, and the couple said that the Reconciling family has always felt like their true church.
The two said that they had nothing but positive feedback during and after the wedding.
It was expected that their church would reject changing its anti-gay church policy at the general conference. On April 30, Methodists voted to keep the anti-gay language of the UMC's laws and to continue to reject the ordination of gay and lesbian ministers. Even though Bruno and Laurie were disappointed, the couple found that it was all the more reason to have their wedding across from the conference.
'It certainly affirmed that we were planning the right thing,' Bruno said.
'It was an opportunity to have everyone gathered, and an opportunity to send a message to the greater United Methodist Church that it really doesn't matter what your laws are, God still blesses same-sex relationships and people still get married every day,' Laurie said.