Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-06-08
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  BLACKLINES

Lie father, Like Son
by Jean Pierre Campbell
2001-08-01

This article shared 4627 times since Wed Aug 1, 2001
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Blacklines Aug. 2001

Monthly Expressions from black Gay, lesbian, Bisexual & Transgendered Life

Copyright © 2001 Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved.

I'm five years old. My father has brought me to the house of a stranger...a female stranger. I'm watching her wash the dishes as Daddy, standing directly behind her, wraps his arms tightly around her waist. I'm wondering why he would behave this way with a woman who is not my mother. I'm wondering if this woman wants to take my mother's place and be his wife. In the playful spirit of the moment, the two of them laugh; I do not. When Daddy releases her, he walks over to me and whispers, "You can call her mommy, too." I think to myself, This ugly old lady is not my mommy! I'm angry that my father has brought me here. I hate him for what he has allowed me to know, because I'm now an accomplice. I will never speak of this visit ( nor those that follow ) to my mother. Though she and I have a special bond that disallows secrets, this secret I will keep forever. As I watch my father and "the other woman," something deep inside me instructs, Whatever you become in life, don't you be like him.

"You're just like your father," she assessed, with the kind of joyous smile that comes with the recognition of the familiar. "You are truly his son," she added, forcing me to smile in a way that acknowledges lineage and kinship deeper than bloodlines. I wondered how my aunt could see what nobody else in the family could see. How did she navigate past the adult personas others saw...the designer-label queen, the "bourgie" intellectual, the political homosexual...to get to the common core? How did she get past all those identity barriers that I've constructed to purposely obstruct the view? It was an assessment she would often share after conversation. So perhaps it was in the way that I use language or the way that everything I say becomes a story in and of itself. I know I got that from him...from the absurdly funny tales he'd concoct from outrageous lies or forbidden history. Or maybe it was the way I talk incessantly and provoke rigorous debate about everything. You see, Daddy and I argue all the time, because we love a good verbal brawl. I will never know on what she based her assessment, but she knows of what she speaks.

I'm perhaps 10-years-old. My father and mother are in the midst of a terrible fight in the kitchen. I can see them through the mailbox slot in our front door ( I am on the porch ) . My mother is crouching down on the floor next to a chair. Her hands are covering her face. My father is standing above her, shouting and kicking her legs. I too am shouting, "Stop that, Daddy, stop it!" Staring toward the front door at me through the mail slot, my father shouts back, "If you don't get away from that gotdamn door, you next!" Frightened out of my wits, I snap the mail slot shut. While I hate myself at this moment for my tear-filled cowardice, I hate my father more for what he's doing. Something deep inside me shouts, Whatever you become in life, don't you be like him!

Recently at my sister's, my nephew, a 10-year-old, comes up to me to confide his dilemma. He is being bullied at his school, which is located in a rough area where the children are fierce little warriors. I know he hasn't been very brave in these encounters, which upsets me more than it should. I explain to him that losing a fight isn't anything to be ashamed of. I tell him that everybody gets afraid sometimes so that's not a big deal either. However, I emphasize that he must fight back always. I'm trying to bring "the warrior" out of him, but he isn't being receptive. So I decide to be blunt. But, almost instinctively, I wind up using words that aren't really mine...words that were given to me a long time ago by a hard-nose steelworker who loved me like I was his only child. "Look, the next time one of those bad-ass li'l boys come up to you, I want you to pick up something and knock his ass out, and I guarantee you he won't bother you again!" At this bit of advice, my nephew seems more perplexed than ever. "But, uncle, what if I hurt him?" Suddenly I realize that I've become more like that hard-nose steelworker than I care to admit.

I'm having a hearty breakfast with my father. The bacon, eggs, grits, and biscuits are hot and greasy. The restaurant has the flavor of a truck stop...a bare interior, a loud crowd, quick service, large helpings. As usual my father is busy yapping away about working-class issues ( the exodus of American jobs to less developed countries, the erosion of unions, etc. ) . In between he imparts parental advice. "Look, I'm all for you writin', but you need to get yo' ass a real job too." He is eyeing every female in the vicinity with a big booty and titties. My father, who is now retired, mind you, is the biggest whore I know. Thank God, Mama's dead. On a subconscious level, I know he is searching for my mother ( Grandma says, "Never miss water til the well run dry" ) . As we eat, "brawl," and bond, I begin to notice how my attention has been captured by big booties and titties entering the establishment too. Flabbergasted, I suddenly think of my aunt assessing me, "You're just like your father." And then I laugh.

Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved. Lambda publishes Windy City Times, The Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community, Nightlines, Out Resource Guide, Clout! Business Report, Blacklines and En La Vida. 1115 W. Belmont 2D, Chicago, IL 60657; PH ( 773 ) 871-7610; FAX ( 773 ) 871-7609.


This article shared 4627 times since Wed Aug 1, 2001
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Hulu's 'Love, Victor' draws to a proud conclusion with season three 2022-07-02
- Love is in the air for Pride Monthas the television show Love, Victor concludes with its third season. The gay rom-com Love, Simon came out in 2018 and inspired the Love, Victor Hulu series two years ...


Gay News

Florida's 'Don't Say Gay' law takes effect 2022-07-02
- Florida's Parental Rights in Education law—which some have nicknamed the "Don't Say Gay" law—went into effect July 1, and some of the state's public school districts have begun rolling out new policies to limit LGBTQ issues ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Biden's proposal, VP Harris, Elizabeth Taylor, outbreak, candidates 2022-06-26
- Lambda Legal issued a press release lauding the Biden administration for issuing proposed regulations that will help protect LGBTQI+ youth against unlawful discrimination. The proposed rules, issued by the U.S. ...


Gay News

Biden's historic executive order strengthens protections for the 2M LGBT youth in U.S. 2022-06-16
-- From a press release - Today, President Biden signed an executive order that includes actions to protect LGBTQI+ youth from conversion therapy, expand LGBTQI+ access to comprehensive health care, support LGBTQI+ youth in schools, end ...


Gay News

DCFS enhances training for foster parents, staff; expands resources, housing options for LGBTQI+ youth 2022-06-14
-- From a press release - Illinois DCFS enhances training for foster parents and staff, expands resources and housing options to support LGBTQI+ youth in care during Pride Month CHICAGO — June is Pride Month and the Illinois Department of Children and ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Transgender icon Mama Gloria dies at 76 2022-06-14
-- From a press release - Chicago transgender icon and activist Gloria Allen, who founded and ran a charm school for homeless trans youth and was the subject of the award-winning documentary "Mama Gloria" and the critically acclaimed play "Charm," has died ...


Gay News

Texas court issues emergency stop to Gov. Abbott's anti-trans youth directive 2022-06-10
-- From a press release - AUSTIN, Texas — The Travis County District Court granted a temporary restraining order on Friday to block the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) from investigating PFLAG families ...


Gay News

300K youth in the U.S. identify as transgender 2022-06-10
-- From a press release - New estimates show 300,000 youth ages 13-17 identify as transgender in the US About 1.3 million adults—0.5% of the adult US population—identify as transgender Approximately 1.6 million people ages 13 ...


Gay News

PFLAG National, ACLU, Lambda Legal file pro-trans youth lawsuit against Texas governor 2022-06-09
- The American Civil Liberties Union, Lambda Legal and the ACLU of Texas, along with Texas-based law firm Baker Botts LLP, filed a new lawsuit in Texas state court on behalf of PFLAG National and three Texas families on June 8, per a press release. ...


Gay News

Howard Brown Health workers announce impending nurses' union membership 2022-06-06
- Non-nurse employees from every Howard Brown Health, Broadway Youth Center and Brown Elephant announced their intentions to join the union that Howard Brown Health nurses previously established in 2019 at a rainy press conference June 6 ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Mysterious death, Tennesee law, lesbians of color, Guam 2022-06-05
- Gay bilingual mental-health counselor Julio Ramirez died in April after he fell unconscious in a taxi following a night out at gay bars in Hell's Kitchen—and then his bank accounts were allegedly drained days later, leaving ...


Gay News

About Face to run immersive comedy about climate-change activism 2022-05-27
- About Face Theatre brings its 27th season to a close with a world premiere comedy created by and starring the About Face Youth Theatre ensemble. Gayme Changers will run June 18-24 at The Den Theater, 1331 ...


Gay News

Trevor Project: 45% of LGBTQ youth considered suicide in the past year 2022-05-26
- The Trevor Project recently released its 2022 survey on the mental health of LGBTQ+ youth. According to an introduction from Trevor Project CEO & Executive Director Amit Paley, the survey demonstrates that rates of suicidal thoughts ...


Gay News

Batavia public school rally to call for equity in education 2022-05-24
-- From an Equality Illinois press release - BPS Parents for Equity and Justice and Batavia Public School (BPS) students to host a rally and call to action in response to ongoing inequities in the treatment of all marginalized groups and the district's reluctance ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Idaho groups, Clay Aiken, Radio Milwaukee, Louisville school 2022-05-22
- In northern Idaho, two groups with different agendas plan to hold events on the same day (June 11) at Coeur d'Alene City Park—and both organizations have issued statements, according to the Bonner County Daily Bee. The ...


 



Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.