Nils Sundin was a local standout high school soccer player, a four-year varsity starter who graduated from Marist in 2005 and then continued his athletic career at St. Ambrose University in Davenport, Iowa.
His stardom continued in college, too, playing sweeper and earning All-Conference honors in 2008 and the NAIA Champion of Character Award in 2007 and 2008.
"The soccer field is the one place I always felt comfortable," Sundin said. "It didn't matter that I was gay, it had no impact on whether or not I was getting that starting position or not. I loved that feeling. That is why I never wanted those two parts of my life to clash. I never felt like they could mix."
That changed before his final season at the small Iowa-based school; Sundin came out to his Fighting Bees teammates.
"I was very hesitant of coming out," said Sundin, a native of suburban Alsip. "I attempted to date girls and pretend I was straight for a large part of my adolescents. I was never completely comfortable with the idea of being gay because I always viewed myself as a 'normal' teen; being different was something that I didn't want."
Sundin might have been different because he's gay, but also because he was highly skilled in his sport. He was established and respected on his college team, within the school's soccer history annals. His best friends were his teammates.
"Playing [ soccer ] is one of my favorite things to do, partly because, my sexuality does not come into play. The only thing that changed [ after coming out ] was the social dynamic I had with my teammates. After coming out we could talk openly about my relationships and sexual endeavors, as we did theirs. It was a sigh of relief to finally be myself both on and off the field."
Sundin, 22, said he first realized he was, or might be, gay in eighth-grade, but didn't tell anyone until he was a sophomore at Marist. He dated girls throughout high school and even his first few years of college, but most of those relationships lacked quality, he said.
At the same time, Sundin was privately dating men.
"My coming out process was very drawn out, which caused a great deal of anxiety," Sundin said. "It caused me so much distress because I never wanted the secret to reach some circles of friends; mainly my guy friends and my teammates. I told a select group of people who I trusted, but I never knew when the secret would be unleashed and spread through my circle of friends.
"I was very lucky to have one of the most accepting environments [ in college that ] one could hope for. I was very close with my [ college ] soccer coach and I told him when I was a sophomore. He was spectacular in receiving and responding to the news in a positive way. He gave me the option of handling it in any way I thought was appropriate. He was optimistic in my team's ability to seamlessly digest the news in a mature fashion; [ however, ] I was not. Although my teammates were some of my closest friends, it only takes one person on a team to make it a negative experience for everyone.
"I told two of my teammates, who were my roommates, during my sophomore year. Their responses were just as positive as my coaches. They told me that nothing was going to change, and basically shrugged off the news with a laugh and hug. When the rest of the team found out during my senior year season they had very similar responses. I was very surprised to realize how much of a non-issue it really was. For them it was just another day, nothing monumental. I was proud to be part of a group of friends/teammates/school program that was so forward thinking, especially for a group of athletes."
The only reason issue he faced when coming out was on the home front. His parents' initial reaction was not overwhelmingly positive, he said. His sexuality made them a little uncomfortable at first, Sundin said.
But time has patched that wound.
"Our relationship has grown [ and now ] they are completely supportive of my lifestyle and are proud of the person I have become," Sundin said.
Sundin went to the Chicago Pride Parade in June with a group of friends, "and had a great time," he said. Sundin, who is working as a life guard this summer, leaves for Seoul, South Korea in late August to teach English as a second language.
"I am very happy with where my life is, and where it is headed," Sundin said. "For that reason, I don't think that I would change anything. All of these experiences have shaped the person who I have/am becoming and I am excited to see where life takes me next."
More about Nils Sundin…
Birthday: Dec. 3, 1986
Parents: Marie and Nils
Siblings: Jennifer, 25; Elizabeth, 24; and Heather, 20
Dating: "I have never dated one of my teammates."
Favorite pro team ( s ) : Chelsea FC
Favorite pro athlete ( s ) : Carles Puyol
Favorite TV show ( s ) : "I don't really watch TV."
Favorite movie ( s ) : Seven
Hobbies: Traveling, working out, running, going out with friends, reading
Soccer in Seoul: "I plan on continuing my soccer career in Korea."
Marist High School teammates: "I am only in contact with one of my high school teammates who also is on my college team. It gives us something to laugh about when we think of the antics I went through during high school concerning the opposite sex."
Can you see a major college athlete ( in football or basketball ) being openly gay? "Yes. I truly believe our society is going through some very subtle, yet large shifts in perspective. Homosexuality, and its presence within our homes, schools, and daily lives is changing the way people, especially college students, see the issue. Although it would make the news for some reason or another, I believe the majority of it would be positive."
How about a pro athlete in one of the big four sports? "I think the same holds true for a professional athlete. On such a large scale there would be some groups who would be lagging in their support, but they will always be there. All it takes is one brave individual to put a face on something we all know exists."