Andre Rehkopf slowly walked into Orchid's Restaurant at the prestigious Halekulani Hotel on Sunday night, Dec. 12, hours after completing the Honolulu Marathon. His partner of four years, Kevin Ciacco, was by his side, along with several Chicago friends who cheered on Rehkopf throughout his 26.2-mile journey to the finish line.
They had a view of the ocean from their table, with the picturesque sunset, and Hawaiian music in the background.
Paradise seemed perfect to pop the question.
So Rehkopf got down on one knee, slowly, still in pain from his four-plus hours running earlier that day, and proposed to Ciacco.
"I was very surprised," Ciacco said. "My hands couldn't stop shaking.
"I said, 'Yes,' right away and was so happy that he had done it with so many of our close friends there. I had no idea that he was planning on doing it either."
Rehkopf added: "He was immensely surprised, but immediately said yes. Everybody at the table congratulated us and all was just great. During dinner I saw Kevin looking at his ring; it was very endearing, as if he could not believe it."
Rehkopf and Ciacco are, sort of, the First Couple of Local Gay Runners.
Ciacco, 28, has run two marathons, each time fundraising to support the AIDS Foundation of Chicago (AFC). He also completed his first triathlon in 2010 through AFC's Team To End AIDS (T2) endurance-training program. Plus, he ran the 2010 Monster Dash Half Marathon and completed the Ride For AIDS.
Rehkopf, 31, has run three marathons, including Chicago in 2009 and Honolulu also in 2008 to benefit AFC. And he too completed the 200-mile Ride For AIDS.
And, yes, they are planning a civil union for next summer in Illinois, if they are still living locally. Or a marriage in Rehkopf's native Germany, if they are living there at the time—but they want their Chicago friends to attend, regardless of where it is.
"Personally I would love to do [a civil union] in Chicago, but we are also talking about going back to Germany where Andre is from and getting married there. Maybe we will end up doing both so people won't have to travel so much," Ciacco said. "We both love running and we love each other and are usually together. When one of us does a race the other usually signs up shortly after and we always start off together. I think that the running has brought us closer together. We have been there for each other when we are sore and tired, and have helped each other when one of us wanted to quit."
Rehkopf and Ciacco live together in Rogers Park. Rehkopf is a senior support scientist at Illinois Institute of Technology. Ciacco is the house manager of the CILA (Community Integrated Living Arrangement) Program for the Counseling Center of Lakeview.
"We met through a mutual friend while at Gentry [Bar] downtown," Ciacco said. "We started talking then, but nothing really happened. A few months later, we both ended up being designated drivers to drive our groups of friends to different parties that night. We spent the whole night together talking and dealing with our drunken friends. After that, we started going on dates, but did not decide to 'make it official' until [Rehkopf] knew that he would be in the States for awhile."
Their lives are intertwined with AFC and running, fundraising and T2. And plenty of love.
"I joined [the National AIDS Marathon Training Program] because of my friend Shaun Sperling. I had seen him out and he talked about how he was working with AFC and suggested that I give it a try," Ciacco said. "I had never run more than 8 miles at that point in my life, so I did not think I would be able to do it. I went home and thought about it for a long time. I finally decided to join—on the day that training was starting.
"I wanted to give back to the community in a new way. I wanted to make a commitment to a cause and push myself to try something that I didn't really think I would ever do. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Since then, I have stayed involved with different programs to raise money for AIDS funding and research. I have also met some of the most amazing people since joining in 2005."
In 2010, Ciacco raised about $2,000 for AFC, bringing his overall total to about $6,000. And he participated in T2's inaugural triathlon training program.
"I had always wanted to do a triathlon and seeing that T2 was offering a new program designed to get you ready to finish your first triathlon, I signed up the first day I could," Ciacco said. "It was an amazing process. I had never swam much and all I could do was doggie paddle. T2 and TriMonster taught me how to swim and really prepared me for the race. Now I swim once-a-week because I learned that it was something I was actually good at. I plan to do at least one triathlon a year now and would like to someday do a half Ironman.
"I know so many great people [through T2]. They offer great training programs and are very passionate about what they do."
Rehkopf has fundraised more than $4,000 for AFC.
And this year's Honolulu race was his favorite.
"I was injured during my first marathon [in 2008] and had a really hard time finishing it. The 2010 Honolulu Marathon, meanwhile, was great. It did not rain like the [2008 race] and the course's scenery is just beautiful," Rehkopf said. "Getting up at 2 a.m. [since the race starts at 5 a.m.] sucks, but is so worth it. I always tear up when the fireworks are shot off, marking the start of the race. In the dark, running through Waikiki with a lot of people cheering … amazing."
Rehkopf had several Chicago cheerleaders along the course in Honolulu, not just Ciacco. And also support from the T2 contingent from Los Angeles.
"It was great getting to cheer Andre on and to help push him along. I was very proud that he was able to cut over two hours off of his last marathon time," Ciacco said. "We sometimes [train together]. When we first started, we always ran together. This year, though, since I was training for a triathlon and he was training for a full marathon, we ran more apart than before. The farthest I had to run for the tri was six miles. And a six-mile run for him was pretty much a warm up."
So who's faster?
"Well, I'm faster at short distances, but Andre is better with the long distance running. I think it's because he has much longer legs than me," Ciacco said, laughing.
Rehkopf said he is considering expanding his endurance-training to include a triathlon in 2011
Ciacco said the keys to their success include honesty and communication. "Learning how to apologize and admit when you are wrong," is important, too, he said.
More about Andre Rehkopf and Kevin Ciacco:
—Hobbies: Kevin: Reading, line dancing, bicycling and playing video games; Andre: Working out, running, making music, reading and traveling
—Favorite TV show: Kevin: Glee. Andre: None
—Favorite movie: Spirited Away (Kevin), Atlantis (Andre)
—Favorite actor or actress: Jake Gyllenhaal (Kevin), Meryl Streep (Andre)
—Little-known skill or trait: Pottery (Kevin), whittling (Andre)
