As our community grows with each "coming out," we also expand the definitions of what it means to be gay. We were homosexuals and inverts, now we're that and so much more: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, questioning and queer. And even within those definitions are subgroups: intersex, transsexual, leather, butch, femme, androgynous, etc.
The new generation of "queer" activists are rewriting the history books every day. There are new gay groups in high schools every semester, when just a few years ago the first gay high school group in the U.S. was founded in Chicago. Gays going to the prom is a relatively new phenomenon, and now there are alternative gay proms. Fighting for transgendered rights is also a relatively recent battle, yet successes are being won in the social and political scene every month. And where once pro-gay elected officials were few and far between, we now have pro-gay vs. pro-gay in many districts.
So what does it mean to be an "invert" today? It means we take the good with the bad, the juvenile behaviors with the experienced leadership. It means we are made of all kinds, and sometimes we don't even understand one another.
Having covered this community for 15 years, only one thing still surprises me. No, not the lewd and crude exhibitionists at our parades ( after all, the straights have their exhibitionists, too ) . No, not the extremes of suit-and-tie and ballgown drag. No, not even the many "lifestyle" groups that have sprung up all over the world.
No, what still amazes me is how segregated we still are as a community. Segregated by gender, by race, by class, by life. Very few gays and lesbians cross the "borders" within our community, to attend events with others who are not "like them." The fears and prejudices are still as strong for some as they were when the Stonewall riots took place in 1969 in New York City.
Pride Sunday is one day when we all—well, most of us—try to get over our differences. We try to come together and make a community statement about who we are. Hundreds of contingents, hundreds of thousands of marchers and watchers, play their part in this huge statement of pride.
But for some, it is really no longer about pride. It has become a party, a celebration of how far we've come. Sure, there are many more battles to fight, but for a movement that began in earnest only in the 1950s and 1960s, we have come a long way, babies.
The problem is, when it's only about the party, when people who still have internal homophobia let loose on the rest of the community, sometimes our differences begin to hurt us. The gay community is not alone in having self-destructive individuals, we just know how many additional reasons there are for GLBTs to be among those abusing drugs and alcohol. Those reasons include very real fears of losing their jobs, losing their children, or losing their lives.
So it's hard not to smile when a gay person, so repressed the rest of the year, acts out in an effusive way. It only becomes a problem when those using drugs and alcohol cross the line and start abusing others—through words or actions. It becomes a problem when the party goes on too long.
In this week's Outlines, we have a story on police warning gay bar owners about the drugs GHB and Ecstacy, which have been linked to increasing numbers of overdoses. These drugs can prolong the party, but they can take a deadly toll. They are also used as "date-rape" drugs, with unsuspecting victims drugged at clubs and taken for a bad ride.
Perhaps because of the advances made in AIDS drugs, some gay people see a new sense of freedom, a return to the days of sexual liberation. Perhaps some are simply feeling like teenagers again—and the drugs can assist in that sense of invulnerability.
But HIV is still out there, and it is still often deadly. Other sexually transmitted diseases, such as syphilis, are on the rise in part because of increased activities which can also transmit HIV. Are the drugs being used because of a new sense of freedom, or are the drugs causing a dulling of the intelligence and reckless behavior?
Many gay men and lesbians today probably do not know someone close who has died of AIDS complications. For those who lived through the 1980s and 1990s, eliminating names from rolodexes [ and now e-mail lists ] , we can not soon forget the ravages of this disease. We can not forget the thousands of people taken in their prime, before they were able to celebrate another Pride Sunday alongside their brothers and sisters in the movement.
We would love to have those gay men among us today, marching in the Pride Parade, smiling for the cameras, dancing at the Rocks, being a Girl on Top, or winning among the Frontrunners.
Now, while the obituary pages have become lighter, other plagues also take their foothold in our community. Drugs and alcohol have been an intimate part of gay society for a long time, but these new brands of drugs are even deadlier and easier to hide. They are used as a stimulant to keep the party going, as a way to drown out the everyday problems of life on planet earth.
Have we come this far to die on a dancefloor? Have we come this far to be assaulted after being drugged at a gay bar? It's sad to know that drugs and alcohol still have such a hold on so many within our community. All we can do is try and offer help and assistance to those who want out. But know that the police are watching closer now, and so are the bar owners.
Saying something is "For your own good" won't change behaviors, but being arrested or being carried out on a stretcher would be an awful lousy way to celebrate pride this weekend.