well, I guess it's as meaningful as Britney's wedding
It just goes to show that you can buy anything online. At marryyourpet.com you can shell out $7.95-$200 on a wedding for you and your pet. Oh, the whimsy! Personally I wouldn't marry any of my pets. Jefferson and Frederick are too young, and Wilkes, well sometimes he shits on the floor. From a spouse, well that's just not the sort of shit I'll put up with. From a trick, well maybe, but he better be really hot.
Recommended by Jim
either way, it's not my fault
Ahh, a site mocking Fred Phelps' godhatesfags.com . This site quotes scripture to show that God hates figs. It was a revelation for me. Looking back now, I see how my grandmother was really just Satan's whore. See, she used to feed me fig preserves. They were so sugar-laden that no child could have resisted them. I see now that this first taste of iniquity set me on the path that led me to prefer tall, bearded men to curvy women ... or maybe it was the bearded GI Joe doll my mom gave me ...
Leviticus? I got your Leviticus—Right here!
I could go the rest of my life without figs, but bacon? Nature's perfect food? Give up smoky, salty, fatty bacon? There is absolutely nothing wrong with eating bacon, it's more natural than eating tofu! Oh crap. That's exactly one of the bullet points: ' BACON EATERS ARE NOT ASHAMED OF THEIR SIN, AND IN THIS STATE THEY CANNOT REPENT.' I guess that's why I can't give up cocksucking either.
Recommended by Larry
This was the first 'godhates' site recommended. It calls for a boycott of Long John Silvers and other shrimp peddlers. It has one important feature the
others don't—a store. Yes sirree, Bob. You can buy a shirt emblazoned with the phrase 'Pinch the tail. Suck the head. Burn in Hell.' or 'When Jesus died for your sins, he wore a crown of thorns, not a lobster bib.' To that, all I can say is 'Amen, brother.'
Recommended by Bob