Where You Address the Burning Issues of Today.This Week: If you woke up in the morning and
discovered you were straight, what would you do first?
'I'd kill myself.' – Joey
'It depends. Would
I be a straight man or woman? If I were a straight woman, I'd go pick up a cop or fireman and give him a blow
job. If I were a straight man, I might be tempted to get very drunk and have my 'first' homosexual experience.' –
Ian
'I'd have a sex change.' – Jane
'I'd go for aversion therapy to make me gay again.' –
Sammy
'If I woke up straight, I'd be pissed but my parents would be happy about it.' – Ralph
'I'd get a hobby, because I'd never be able to have sex again. (But you'd want sex with a man). It's not
happening. I can't be straight, it's a medical impossibility.' – Ingrid
'I am straight, but if I woke up gay it
would solve a lot of my girl problems. Being gay would also really piss my parents off … and that's a good
thing.' – Danny Boy
'I'd get a husband, move to the suburbs, have babies … oh God!! I'd take an
overdose before I went straight …' — Julie
'I'd roll over, wonder why there was a naked man lying in the
bed next to me, and think 'Man, I must've really gotten shitfaced last night.'' –Steve
'I'd blame Bush. Ba
dum CHING' – Greg
