(Vox Pop and World Wide Weird Take a Haitus for this Special Feature, the Personals Page from the Magazine Petspots)
Your Aroma Lingers
Svelte sexy irish setter, this masculine chihuahua sniffed your hot ass at Hollywood Beach 1/10 but your person swept you away before I could get your name. I'm sure I smelled some interest. Contact me. Bruiser, Box 1232
You made me feel like a kid again
Nanny, we locked horns at the Ram. You gave me your number, but this silly goat ate it by mistake. Please contact me. I want to get together again baaaaaadly. Billy, Box 3294
I'm hooked. Reel me in.
Met you in Montrose Harbor. We spoke briefly about the misogyny in Strindberg's plays, but had to cut our conversation short as you were late for school. Was it just me, or was there more than academic interest in your eyes? This smelt hasn't been able to sleep since. Simon, Box 1942
Make this Tuna Melt
SGM tuna, model good looks, tattooed, seeks fuck buddy for intense one-on-one action. PnP AOK. Open to anything except water sports. Box 2541
Can Your Pussy Do the Dog?
Submissive SGF doberman seeks dominate GF Persian feline to treat me like the bitch I am. Box 1492
SGF giraffe. Well grounded, doesn't have her head in the clouds. Not into the bar scene. Seeking a girl with similar values. I like tender tree tops, trips to the Serengeti, and necking. Dislikes: poachers, pygmies, game players. Will answer all sincere replies. Gizelle, Box 1964
Desperately Seeking Crabs
SGF crab. Seeks lifemate. I may appear hard on the surface, but I'm just a soft shell at heart. I like long moonlit scuttles along the beach, holding claws, and quiet nights at home dining on carrion carry-out. Trixie Box 1056
Anal Warthog seeks porking
Insatiable pig bottom seeks total tops for butt-pounding marathons. Are you swine enough to go the distance? Violet wands, scat, w/s, CBT, bondage (hog-tying), mummification, piercings, scarification, branding, tit torture, and having my head repeatedly beaten against the wall until I'm senseless OK. Serious, sincere replies only. Box 1865
Bring me Out of My Shell
Shy, cute bi-boy turtle, new to the scene, wishes to meet the chelonian of his dreams for romantic candlelit dinners and cuddles in the damp, shady NW corner of my aquarium. Let's take it slow. Terence, Box 1812
Daddy Wants a Cracker
GM cigar-smoking daddy African grey parrot, into fisting, verbal abuse, watersports/scat seeks submissive bottom boy cockatoo or other white exotic bird for hot times and possible LTR. I'm familiar with the finer things in life and am ready to share that experience with the right bird. Let me expand your sexual and social horizons. My interests include perching, preening, fine fruits and nuts, bungee jumping, snowboarding, and rousing games of Parcheesi. Polly, Box 2001
Hot Pussy for Sale!
Not really, but now that I've got your attention... I'm a 2 year-old TV kitty into public sex seeking straight-acting stray Toms to pump my pussy by dumpsters in back alleys. I'm a screamer UB2. Let's keep the neighbors up all night. Tiffany, Box 365
Do you give a Dam?
GF beaver. Middle aged, corporate. Recently lost lifemate in freak flash flood. I'm starting over and wish to meet established beavers for friendship, maybe more. Oak Park area preferred. Beverly, Box 4633
Young seal seeks other hip YOUNG animals into clubbing to party with. Into all kinds of house music including: dollhaus, pancakehaus, brauhaus and shithaus. X, GHB, Vit. K are all cool. Box 1999
Lesbian bigfoot 7'1', 820 lb, 83-81-85 measurements seeks similar sasquatch or yeti for companionship. I'm into New Age philosophy. Let's meld our spirits. Looking for somone that can fulfill both my root and heart chakras. Could it be you? My interests include drumming, herbal teas and leaving footprints near human camps. Sho' Nuh aW!n, Box 649
I Don't Bite
Unless you ask me to. GM gnat, hung like a mosquito, is seeking other boy gnats who know how to take it like a bug. Box 751
Hung like a Horse
In town for Breeder's cup, this straight stallion is gay for pay.Hung 45'. Top, mammals only. Out calls only. Box 3652
Home on the Range
This GM prairie dog seeks same or gopher to share both my holes. I'm fit, trim and Monkey Pox (-) UB2. Box 6871
Older, gay rooster with a great pecker is seeking a chicken who appreciates the benefits an older bird can bring. Box 5231
Spank My Hot Red Ass
Submissive GM babboon seeks dominant babboon or primate into spanking and humiliation. Chimps who like to fling poop are especially welcome. Tell me your favorite domination scene and I'll tell you mine. Maybe we'll match? Will answer all. Box 6598
GM Bactrian camel seeks same. I enjoy long moonlit walks in the desert, lazing in an Oasis, and spitting at my human handlers. I'm erudite, sophisticated, mannered, and hung. You should be the same. My interests include opera, the symphony, and film but I'm not an elitist snob. I enjoy pop music as well, particularly Streisand (pre- A Happening in Central Park). My favorite song is Maria Muldaur's Midnight at the Oasis. Wanna take me for a ride? No fats, fems, or dromedaries. Box 2301
Seeking Real Dog
GM toy poodle, straight-acting seeks same. Enjoy grooming, having my nails painted, and being spoken to in baby-talk. Also enjoy shoe and sweater shopping, and wearing pretty blue bows in my hair. Butch only, no sissy-dogs please. Killer, Box 981
Are you on my radar?
GF vampire bat, not into the nightlife, but I do eat out nightly. Looking for someone to hang out with. Fave foods are yak, cow, and llama blood. Box 3621
I don't want to burn in hell, neither should you.
Praying Mantis, sensitive, religious, Dignity member seeks similar for sexless LTR. Judas, Box 316
To Reply to an ad, send your response to the Petspots Box # at the end of the ad, c/o Petspots, 1940 W. Irving Park Avenue, Chicago, IL 60613