If Illinois Senator William Delgado had an evolution on LGBT rights, it happened decades ago, before he sponsored the equal marriage bill, before he stood up on Valentine's Day and told his anti-gay colleagues that they sounded like they were straight out of an 1865 debate on slavery.
For 2nd district rep., the debate on equal marriage in Illinois is personal.
Delgado's son, Rubén, came out to him at age 17. Ten years later, in June 2010, Rubén died unexpectedly after health problems that Delgado prefers not to discuss.
Delgado has been picking up the pieces ever since, mourning a son who he not only loved but felt could have improved his community.
Rubén told his father that he was gay while in high school at Von Stuben Metropolitan Science Center, Delgado said.
"Of course, I said, 'I love you and your brother. That doesn't matter,'" Delgado recalled.
But Rubén struggled with name-calling outside his home. He was called "faggot," and he often felt uncomfortable, said Delgado. As he got older and eventually went to college, he settled into his identity, Delgado said.
At the time of his death, Rubén had a long-term partner and a condo. He worked as a Spanish teacher at Morton East High School, and he was planning to travel to Spain where he had been accepted into a master's program.
He was so involved in his teaching that he didn't get involved in LGBT organizing, Delgado said.
Delgado reads two paragraphs that Rubén penned the same year he came out as gay.
"I am very aware that I have a long road ahead of me," the high school student wrote. "I have a lot to look forward to in the field of education. I've had many influences in my life that have helped shape my thinking in terms of importance of learning. I want to be there in order to help future generations play an active and, above all, positive role in society long after I finish my career and my time here on earth. I see it only fitting that I give back to the future generations the way past generations gave to us."
Ten years later, those words grace the back of Rubén's funeral card, which Delgado carries in his back pocket
"He never leaves," Delgado said. "I take him everywhere."
Rubén came with Delgado on Feb. 14 when the senator gave an emotionally-raw speech in favor of marriage equality before the Senate.
"We send messages to our citizens as government," Delgado told his colleagues. "We help gauge the moral turpitude of our citizens. They look to us, many times in shame. Today, we hope and pray that they will look at us as courageous."
It can be difficult, Delgado concedes. When he argues in favor of equal marriage, he talks about Rubén. He has mixed feelings about employing his son's memory in support of the marriage bill. He knows Rubén wanted equal rights as a gay person, but the issue is as personal as it is political for Delgado.
Delgado struggled with colleagues who are not supporting the effort to pass equal marriage in Illinois. He knows that some colleagues make anti-gay remarks, usually out of his earshot. But he also sees change, he said.
"For the most part, Illinois is becoming very sensitive and understanding," he said.
Still, there are others who have yet to move on the issue, including his House successor, 3rd Dist. Rep. Luis Arroyo.
Arroyo voted for the Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act in the House Executive Committee because he did not want to prevent it from progressing. But he told sponsors that he could not bring himself to vote for the measure on the House floor.
In a interview with Windy City Times, he later reaffirmed that stance.
"My vote is 'no,'" Arroyo said. "I voted for civil unions, and that is as far as I can go." Arroyo said his constituents do not support the bill and have asked him to vote against it.
But Delgado, whose district encompasses Arroyo's, said he feels that his community supports equal marriage. He said that the two have talked about the issue, and Delgado has been frustrated by Arroyo's lack of support for the bill.
"Professionally, he's ultra-conservative," said Delgado. "We would hope that he would eventually come around and reflect the voters' desires and the overall 2nd District."
Delgado has other hopes for his colleagues. He questions why the bill has not yet been called for a vote, something he feels House Speaker Mike Madigan could make happen but has not.
"I urge Speaker Madigan to respect the wishes of the communities, including the 2nd legislative district by moving that legislation," he said.
Delgado also wants LGBT people turn up pressure on lawmakers to pass the bill.
"The time is now now now. There is no reason. The closet door is off," he said.
"You are us," he said of LGBT people. "You must recognize that. You're not a Flintstone. You're a Jetson," he said referring to the television cartoons.
When Delgado argued in favor of the equal marriage bill, he reminded other lawmakers of his son and the struggles he went through after Rubén died.
"I rise in honor of my son Rubén, whose struggles were not with his partner or with his parents, who he loved as he loved us," Delgado said. "His struggle was with the blatant dehumanizing, the comments, the looks that he got from society..."
In this speech, which last several minutes, one can hear Delgado's voice start to shake as he remembers his son. What begins as an eloquent and clear statement on the marriage bill, rises into what seems like a impromptu personal appeal.
Delgado, however, insists that his strong support for equal marriage rights is not about his son, but about human rights.
"I have very many [LGBT] family members," he said. "But if I didn't, it wouldn't make a difference."
