'It's so cold I saw a guy with his tongue stuck to a hooker.' — David Letterman
Living in Chicago, we are definitely familiar with what Old Man Winter can bring: low temperatures, piles of snow and ice-covered streets and sidewalks. Although it may seem obvious that we should take precautions, some people are oblivious to the variety of things that can happen to them. So, in light of that fact, here are injuries that may happen to you this winter and what you can do to prevent them. (Hint: Wear clothing.)
1. Frostbite, Hypothermia, Dehydration and Trench Foot
If you stayed outside on those subzero days for longer than 20 minutes, you might have felt what seemed like frostbite. Frostbite is basically the result of frozen tissues (and, no, I don't mean Kleenex). Light frostbite involves only the skin that takes on a dull whitish hue while more severe cases extend beneath the skin. In essence, the tissues become solid and immovable. Your feet, hands and exposed facial areas are especially vulnerable. A loss of feeling in your hands and feet is a sign of frostbite
The best way to prevent frostbite is to use the buddy system. Check your friend's face often and make sure that (s)he checks yours. (It's a wonderful way to maintain loving eye contact.) If you're alone, cover your nose and lower part with your (gloved or mittened) hand. You should, in addition, wiggle your ears, move your hands inside your gloves and move your feet/wiggle your toes. Also, stay away from the Marlboros and rum; smoking and drinking increase your chances of Jack Frost nipping at more than just your nose. Hypothermia is the lowering of your body temperature at a rate faster than the body can produce heat. Causes of hypothermia may be general exposure or the sudden wetting of the body (through sweating, for example).
The first symptom is shivering, which may progress to the point that you can't control it and it interferes with your ability to care for yourself. You must act quickly because if the body's core temperature falls below 77 degrees Fahrenheit, you're a stiff in more ways than one. To treat hypothermia, re-warm the entire body. Assuming there's no time to get over to a hospital, lower the body in a tub of warm water. Also, one of the quickest ways to get heat to the inner core of the body is to administer a warm water enema and I'm leaving it at that. Make sure you dress in layers and find out from your doctor if your medication increases your risk of hypothermia; barbiturates and some antidepressants may make it hard for your body to stay warm.
When you're bundled up in seven layers of clothing, you may be unaware that you're losing bodily moisture to the point where you're severely dehydrated. Your parka and flannel shirt absorb the wetness that evaporates in the air so, obviously, you need to swig some water. According to the Wilderness Survival Web site, you can tell if you're dehydrated by peeing in the snow; if your urine is dark yellow, you need some fluids. If you're in a more civilized environment, you can probably use a toilet and then purchase some Evian.
Trench foot (as well as immersion foot) results from days or even hours of exposure to damp conditions at temperatures just above freezing. The symptoms include feeling a sensation of pins and needles, tingling, numbness and then outright pain. The skin will change from looking white and shriveled to red and then bluish or black. Walking then becomes hard and the feet feel heavy and numb; in the worst cases, gangrene can occur and the foot may have to be amputated.
The best thing to do for trench foot is to keep your feet dry. Wash your feet and put on dry socks daily. (See? There is something to be said for good hygiene.)
2. Shoveling Snow
Snow can be pretty to watch but literally a pain to shovel. Because shoveling snow is such a rigorous activity, you should definitely exercise caution. According to Wellness Junction, you might want to obey these guidelines:
— Do it early and often: New snow is lighter than heavily packed or partially melted snow. Before you start shoveling, get in five to 10 minutes of light exercise.
— Push it, baby: Keep the shovel close to your body and space your hands on the shovel. With some of these drifts, you need all the leverage you can get.
— If you must lift, do it right: You know the position. Squat with your legs apart, knees bent and back straight. Lift with your legs. Also, never remove deep snow all at once; do it bit by bit. … No throwing: Don't throw the snow over your shoulder or to the side. This action requires a twisting motion that stresses your back.
— Don't shovel the cat: Don't let a hat or scarf block your vision. Watch for ice patches, foreign objects and uneven surfaces.
— Don't try to be Vin Diesel: Avoid a shovel that's too heavy or too long.
— Pace yourself: Shoveling is an aerobic activity. Take breaks and replenish fluids.
— Talk with your doc: If you have a medical condition or do not exercise regularly, talk with your physician before shoveling. If necessary, hire the cute guy down the street to remove the snow.
3. Hot Tubs
Some people love having hot tubs outside because they find the contrast between the heat and the surrounding cold air to be invigorating. Well, believe it or not, the tub can be a breeding ground for disease as well as energy and relaxation:
— The hair down there: Since 1978, 13 people have died from hair-related incidents in hot tubs. The most common situation has involved the person's hair being entangled in the drain cover; drowning results. Along with installing new drain covers, encourage your long-haired friends to pin it up.
— Entrapment: It's also possible for your body to form a vacuum seal against the outlet or drain, again causing drowning. New drain covers can help prevent those rare but tragic events from occurring.
— Coming and going: Slipping and falling while entering and exiting hot tubs can cause serious injury, including unconsciousness (leading to, yes, drowning). The presence of secure handrails can go a long way to cutting down on pulling a Titanic.
— Chill on those martinis: Alcohol and drug use can cause drowsiness, leading to possibly unsavory things happening when you pass out (and I don't mean making out with that ex of yours).
— A rash of incidents: Unsightly skin rashes can occur, thanks to a microorganism (Pseudomonas aeruginosa) that likes warm, damp places. Bumps may develop into itchy, dark red nodules. The best ways to guard against this happening involve constant filtration and disinfection.
— Hot runs: Any one of a number of 'bugs' (bacteria, viruses and fungi) may cause diarrhea and said bugs are more likely to be present if the tub isn't adequately disinfected or if there are sick people relaxing with you. If ill people have already been there, it would be wise to follow contamination guidelines. (I tried not to get too gross, but this stuff happens.)
— Check list: Make sure that the water isn't cloudy; cloudiness indicates that the filtering isn't working properly and that bacteria may be present. Also avoid if there's a strong chlorine-like smell. Look around to ensure that everything's clean and, if possible, find out where the first-aid kit is in case something should occur.
Sources: Grant County Health District web site; Wilderness-survival.net; National Weather Service Forecast Office Web site; Hughston Health Alert; Ice-and-Snow-Melt.com .
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The Breast Man
You may have heard guys bemoan the fact that they suddenly have what they call 'man tits.' The clinical term for 'man breasts' is gynecomastia and up to 35 percent of men have it at any given time.
There are four ways you may have gotten these:
1. You are taking steroids. Get off the juice, man!
2. You're pulling a Cheech and smoking way too much pot.
3. You're taking a medication that's altering your hormone levels. (Hopefully, your physician can prescribe drugs that can counteract your blossoming breasts—unless you want them.)
4. You've gained too much weight. In that case, you know what you have to do (exercise and diet). It's just a matter of you having the willpower to do those things.
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To Your Health
The first annual National Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Health Awareness Week will begin March 16. Presented by the National Coalition for LGBT Health, the week will include national and local events. The week is part of an effort to increase awareness about the health concerns and differences regarding the community. To find out more about what's happening, contact the Web site for the coalition (www. lgbthealth.net/).
I'm at adavis@starmail.com .