Dear Danny,
This is my story to your readers. I, like many others knew at a early age 6, or 7, that I was different than most males. Attracted to
things that society indicated that I shouldn't be attracted to, guys.
Even my Catholic upbringing had both positive and negative effects on my survival. Alter boy, seminarian, teacher, lover. I had
two long-term relationships. One for four years, and one for 16. My second lover was really my first love and we built a life together
with family and friends. My lover's brother was also gay and was one of the first AIDS cases in the U.S. He was so early in the
epidemic, that it wasn't even called AIDS then and he was given a case number under 300.
After a long struggle with AIDS, my lover died. With the improved medications, better understanding of kinds of treatments, and
the love support of family and friends, I am grateful to be able to write this letter. I taught in the public schools for 25 years, all the while
not being able to acknowledge my homosexuality or my HIV status. Having seen many former students die of AIDS, I decided to
become involved. I volunteered for an organization called PWAC, People With AIDS Coalition, and gave several talks to schools,
church groups and visited hospitals, concentrating on one-to-one support of friends and family members in crisis.
I retired early, almost 14 years years ago. Since then, traveling, gardening, oil painting, cooking and reading are parts of my daily
life. Also included in my life are my relationships to God, long-time friends and new friends. I am very grateful for all of the above and
to be able to tell others to use whatever it takes for them to SURVIVE.
— Love, Another Danny
Dear Another Survivor,
Thank you for sharing your story of love, loss and survival. All these years later I still need to be reminded on occasion where I've
come from and how lucky I am to be surviving AIDS.
Not many people nowadays have been through what you and I have and while I prefer not to spend a lot of time in the past, it is
helpful to look back. Long- term survivors like us have our own unique set of concerns and issues that very few understand. We have
lived with tremendous loss, whether it be friends or loved ones we've lost to AIDS, or the dramatic change in the course of our own
lives when we found out we were HIV positive. Few understand the countless repercussions of this disease. Few understand how
confusing it is to be positive and watch so many others slip away, expecting to do the same ourselves, and then living in spite of it all.
Not many can comprehend the hurt and lack of respect we feel each and every time we hear someone say they have had sex
without protection or the disbelief that even though we know that HIV/AIDS is preventable people continue to become infected all
around us.
Sometimes my family, my friends and even my doctor, through no fault of their own, don't realize how very painful, confusing and
lonely it can still be. In fact, we long-term survivors may never be wholly understood except by each other. Someone once said, 'It is
in the knowledge of the genuine conditions in our lives that we must draw our strength to live and our reasons for living.' Perhaps it's
not just the obvious comfort of acceptance that has turned so many of us long termers toward HIV/AIDS education and volunteer work.
Maybe just knowing what we've been through and how horrible it can be and how lonely it can still be, we feel a need to help
others understand more fully so that perhaps they can be spared the pain that we have endured.
In a strange way we are a living piece of history. For me, that sense of purpose and an occasional, respectful look back to how
things used to be, certainly can, in a roundabout way, help to make me feel grateful for each and every breath. An appreciation for life,
together with spirituality, love for ourselves and the love of those around us, all seem to me to be key to survival.
Thanks for reminding me of that, for trying to convey it to others and making at least this old timer feel a bit less alone. I wish you a
long and healthy retirement filled with new places, big blossoms, exciting new recipes and good books.
Love, Danny
