Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-06-08
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor


Gender: God Based, Not Fear Based
by Lynnell Stephani Long
2004-03-01

This article shared 3889 times since Mon Mar 1, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


'I wish I could hold you in my arms, and take all of your hurt and pain away. I wish I could kiss you on the forehead give you the courage I have to stand up and be proud of being Intersex. But I can't! There are lessons you have to learn that can only be learned by you growing from your pain.'

That's what I told someone over the phone as they cried and cried. This person called me because I told them they could, after we met at a conference. They (and I am not using a pronoun intentionally because this person doesn't use one either) didn't call me wishing I could take away all their pain and fears away. This person called me because if anyone in the world could understand the fear, shame, and pain someone goes through being different it would be me.

I'm not sure why God gave me the courage and fearless attitude that I have, and not everyone else. But I do know that not everyone can be an out and proud hermaphrodite, and not fear being judged and ridiculed. That's if people make the assumption that I don't fear being judged or ridiculed.

Something happened to me five or six years ago that made me say fuck it. Maybe I finally got tired of trying to be what I 'thought' society wanted me to be. Maybe I got tired of being afraid of someone finding out my 'secret', or maybe I just got tired of having a secret. What ever it was that pushed me over the edge some people seem to think this courage I have makes me exempt of pain and fear. It doesn't!

No one wants to be different. I don't know one person that identifies as LGBT or Intersex that will say they chose to be that way. Who wants to live a life where you live in fear of being bashed just because your lover is the same sex, or you happen to be Trans? Who among us like not having the rights that other citizens have? Who asked to be born Intersex (a hermaphrodite), and have to go through life trying to reverse the damage the medical profession has done to you? Not me! But I am what I am and I refuse to sit back and whine about it. I refuse to pout and get mad at God because I'm a little different.

I don't know many Intersex people that have the courage it takes to get up on stage and out themselves as Intersex, and then proceed to educate an audience about Intersex conditions and Intersex Genitalia Mutilation. But I do! I do because whenever I speak openly about Intersex issues I'm not alone. Whenever it comes time for me to tell my potential partner that I am Intersex I strongly believe that God has sent this person to me for a reason. If not to be lovers, then there is a message we have to share.

On February 17th of this year I will celebrate 11 years of sobriety. I didn't stay sober, with all of the shit I've been through, just because I am a militant revolutionary, poetic, kick-ass leather dyke. I stayed sober because I am truly blessed. That doesn't mean that I will be out on Madison & State quoting the bible, or the big book of AA. Nor does it mean that I am a saint and don't make mistakes. It means that everyday I try my best to do God's will, and not my own. There are days when I fall short or when life is hard, but as I become more God based and not fear based I learn to trust in my higher power.

No one said life was easy. And being LGBTI makes life for us a little more difficult, some at our own doing. I can't change the way people feel about me, but I can accept it. I can't make someone accept me, but I can have the courage to get up and try again. If there was a secret as to why I don't bow down to fear maybe part of it is my alter ego Daddie Millarca. Millarca doesn't bow down to anyone. But a large part of it is I don't see a reason to. I didn't get sober to be afraid to live or love. I happen to be a very sexual being. If I was afraid that every woman I ever meet would reject me I may as well stay home and watch reruns of Friends. But I have a life to live, poetry events to attend, people to educate or piss off, articles to write, leather events to visit, and so much more than giving in to fear.

You know, my mother was a minister ˆ God bless her soul ˆ and there were times when she preached against everything that I am. Her God hated me just because. I didn't have a chance with her God. But I learned to have faith in a God of my understanding: A God that loves me because of who I am, not in spite of it. I'm not trying to get all sanctified on you. All I am saying is if you find yourself living in fear give God a chance. And tell her I said hello!

'I speak without concern for the accusations that I am too much or too little woman, too black or too white, or too much myself!' — Audre Lorde

www.millarca.com/intersex.html


This article shared 3889 times since Mon Mar 1, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Scores of LGBTQI+ groups call on policymakers to protect abortion rights 2022-06-02
-- From a NCLR press release - WASHINGTON, DC — Today, the National Center for Lesbian Rights released an open letter signed by 91 organizations representing the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and intersex (LGBTQI+) community voicing ...


Gay News

President Biden issues LGBTQI+ proclamation 2022-06-01
- President Joe Biden issued a proclamation for the LGBTQI+ community. In "A Proclamation on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, And Intersex Pride Month, 2022," Biden said, in part, "I often say that America can be defined ...


Gay News

HRCF, TransCanWork launching virtual career fair Feb. 23 for trans, non-binary job seekers 2022-02-18
- The Human Rights Campaign Foundation (HRCF), the educational arm of the Human Rights Campaign, and TransCanWork (an organization committed to advancing transgender, gender diverse & intersex workplace inclusion) announced the ...


Gay News

NATIONAL California report, AIDS foundation CEO, QueerArt, intersex bill 2022-01-09
- California law enforcement officials conduct body searches on Black and transgender people more often than on white and cisgender people, according to a new report from California's Racial and Identity Profiling Advisory (RIPA) Board, LGBTQ Na ...


Gay News

IOC announces framework for trans, intersex athletes 2021-11-17
- The International Olympic Committee (IOC) announced a new framework for transgender and intersex athletes, dropping controversial policies that required competing athletes to undergo "medically unnecessary" procedures or treatment, NBC News ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Intersex snapshot, teacher fired, 'Living Rainbow,' Task Force 2021-10-31
- In honor of Intersex Awareness Day (Oct. 26), the National Institutes of Health's Sexual and Gender Minority Research Office (SGMRO) released the DSD & Intersex Research Portfolio Snapshot of the NIH FY 2019 SGM Portfolio Analysis, ...


Gay News

First U.S. passport with 'X' gender marker is issued 2021-10-28
- On Oct. 27, the State Department was expected to issue the first U.S. passport with an "X" gender marker, The Washington Blade reported. Lambda Legal client Dana Zzyym, an intersex and non-binary U.S. Navy veteran, became ...


Gay News

WORLD Anti-TGNC vote, #VeryGayRaptor, Brazilian governor, Scottish poll 2021-09-05
- In Australia, the government voted down workplace protections for transgender, non-binary and intersex people, OutInPerth.com reported. The senate was considering the Sex Discrimination and Fair Work (Respect at Work) Amendment ...


Gay News

New Biden administration materials clarify Title IX protects intersex students 2021-06-24
--From a press release - Washington, D.C. — Commemorating the 49th anniversary of Title IX, the US Department of Education (ED) and Department of Justice (DOJ) yesterday released two new resources clarifying the scope and ...


Gay News

WORLD Dutch apology, Swiss gov't, Victory Institute, 'Queer Japan' 2020-12-07
- The Dutch government issued a formal apology to transgender and intersex citizens who were required to undergo sterilization surgeries to legally change their gender and agreed to compensate some of those who underwent the procedures, The ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Texas board, intersex portfolio, hate crimes, beauty queen dies 2020-11-02
- A Texas regulatory board reinstated protections that bar social workers from refusing services to LGBTQ people and people with disabilities, NBC News reported. The Texas Behavioral Health Executive Council, or BHEC, on Tuesday unanimously reversed an ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Autistic trans guide, trans death, AIDS Quilt, intersex study 2020-10-19
- The National LGBTQ Task Force and the AWNNetwork released a collaborative guide, "Before You Go: Know Your Rights & What to Expect at the Doctor and in the Hospital"—a groundbreaking first-of-its-kind publication filled with tips and ...


Gay News

Lurie announces overhaul of pediatric intersex surgery policies 2020-07-29
- Ann & Robert Lurie Children's Hospital announced July 28 that it will no longer perform irreversible genital surgical procedures on intersex patients until patients can participate in making the decision. The surgeries have long been controversial, ...


Gay News

Idaho anti-trans law challenged 2020-04-15
- A lawsuit was filed April 15 challenging Idaho's recently passed law that bans women and girls who are transgender as well as many women and girls who are intersex from participating in school sports, according to ...


Gay News

WORLD Canada and COVID-19, Indonesia incident, Panama policy 2020-04-14
- The organization Egale, partnering with INNOVATIVE Research Group, presented a timeline that shows the impact of the COVID-19 crisis on Canada's LGBTQI2S (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex and two-spirit) ...


 



Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.