John Aquilina was showcasing his work at an art show in Chicago's Ravenswood neighborhood back in the late 1990s, and Chuck Munro truly was impressed—with the art and the artist.
"I had sworn off dating at the time, but John had this pretty nifty art, and I thought he was pretty attractive. I was smitten, but I refused to ask him for his number because I wasn't interested in dating," Munro said. "I went home and immediately thought that I screwed up; I knew I should have gotten his [phone] number."
So Munro spent the next two weeks searching for Aquilina—until he searched for him in the phone book.
Munro found Aquilina and called him, and so started their journey.
The day they agreed on their first date, Aquilina told Munro that he was going to a Russian orthodox church service for Easter on the West Side of Chicago. Munro agreed to join him—and they didn't even talk for the first hour of their first date.
"Chuck was so outside of anyone who I had thought of as 'my type,'" Aquilina said. "He was just so different, but I was up for an adventure. There was just something inside of me that said, 'This is right.'"
Munro admitted he was attracted to the spirit of adventure that Aquilina brought to the scene. "He challenged me about the way I was talking and thinking, even on our first date, which I kind of liked," Munro said.
Flash-forward to the present. Aquilina and Munro, who reside in Edgewater, are celebrating 15 years together in April.
"Everyone needs to commit to their singlehood. You need to have the best single life you can have. It wasn't until I did that, and Chuck did that, that we readied ourselves to be in a relationship," Aquilina said.
Aquilina, 61, is a project coordinator and executive assistant at the Wright (formerly the Wright Leadership Institute), where individuals are dedicated to discovering their inner strength, their inner abilities and more. As the group's website boasts, it works to knock the doors off limited perceptions, challenging mistaken and limiting beliefs, and exploring what is possible.
Munro, 51, is the administrator for the Wright Graduate Institute for the Realization of Human Potential.
"We've had support from the gay and straight community, including our couples support group at Wright, since 2000—and we are the only gay couple" in the group, Aquilina said.
"The [couples support group] teaches us to look at our purpose as a couple together, to really examine what is the reason for [us] coming together," Munro said. "We look at things like how to have productive fights, how to share a life purpose, how to look at our position as a life couple within a larger community, and how to stay intimate, among other things."
Aquilina and Munro had a church commitment ceremony in Chicago in 2002. Munro said the key to their longevity includes support, accountability, honesty and more.
"We temper each other," Aquilina said.
The duo mesh their personal and professional lives through Wright, highlighted by the MORE for Gay Men program, which supports personal growth and development for gay men. At Wright, according to the group's website, gay men can expect to:
—Challenge and change the beliefs that have limited your power.
—Cultivate a genuine and truthful intimacy with family, friends, and partners.
—Achieve success in areas you never dreamed possible.
—Recapture a sense of power and purpose in your life.
—Begin to realize your full potential.
The group combines weekend trainings, personalized coaching and ongoing learning labs, Aquilina said.
"Ironically, it was a straight man, Dr. Bob Wright, who mentored us to support gay men," Munro said. "Bob challenged us to form this organization that would support other gay men to develop their leadership."
The gay men's program includes a monthly movie night at the Center on Halsted, showing a movie carrying a gay theme, idea and/or character(s). "The main point [of the movie night] is the discussion that follows after the movie," Munro said. "We first talk about the movie, then about ourselves personally."
About 20 regularly attend the movie night.
The group has a special event planned for Friday, March 23, with the showing of The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later at the Redtwist Theatre, 1044 W. Bryn Mawr Ave.
For more information about the MORE For Gay Men program, go to www.moreforgaymen.com .
