THE DISCO BALL, Thursday, Jan. 16, ABC, 7-9 p.m.
Not even the participation of Bruce Vilanch and Gloria Gaynor can save THE DISCO BALL —it should have been called THE BORING STRAIGHT DISCO BALL. Although admirably conceived as a benefit for AIDS Project Los Angeles, the two-hour tribute celebrates disco in its most bland manifestation.
Still, THE DISCO BALL is worth watching to hear the songs and see some of the more rarely seen performers, such as Cheryl Lynn ('Got To Be Real') and Thelma Houston ('Don't Leave Me This Way'). Whoopi Goldberg joins ex-Weather Girl Martha Wash for 'It's Raining Men.' Irene Cara surprises with a still-effective rendition of 'Flashdance ... What a Feeling,' and Bruce Vilanch is carried onstage during DANCING QUEEN in a pharaoh-style chair by four gorgeous bodybuilders. New versions of old classics are done by Usher ('Ain't No Stopping Us Now'), Mya ('Turn the Beat Around'), Aaron Carter ('I Just Want to Be Your Everything'), and Taylor Dayne ('I Love the Night Life'). Low points: Roselyn Sanchez destroys 'Hot Stuff' with an ill-conceived dramatic slow beginning, and boy band Natural do such a weak and lifeless tribute to SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER that Maurice Gibb is rolling over right now.
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PORTIA ALERT
Out lesbian dater Portia de Rossi (Nell of ALLY MCBEAL) played John-John's wife Carolyn Bessette in the mediocre but still watchable TBS biopic America's Prince last weekend. When we first see her, Portia is almost unrecognizable—'What has she done to her face?' you wonder—but by about halfway through the movie, she starts to look more and more like Nell until by the end, you could swear she's going to snarl at Ally across the conference room table any minute.
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Rustin on TV
P.O.V.: BAYARD RUSTIN, Monday, Jan. 20, PBS, 10 p.m.: BROTHER OUTSIDER: THE LIFE OF BAYARD RUSTIN (1912-87) profiles Martin Luther King Jr.'s gay right-hand man, who organized the 1963 March on Washington. Rustin is recalled in stills, clips, comments by friends and colleagues—and readings from his FBI file.
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FASTLANE: TIFFANY TO THE RICH LESBIANS' RESCUE! Jan. 17, FOX, 7 p.m.
In an episode entitled 'Strap On,' Billie (Tiffany Thiessen) goes undercover to cuff a sexy, sadistic thief (Jaime Pressly) who's behind a rash of home-invasion attacks on rich lesbians. George Hamilton cameos as himself.
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INSIDE JOE MILLIONAIRE'S UNDERWEAR
'No, that's not a pack of Lifesavers in my pocket, I was really happy to see everybody.' — Evan Marriott (JOE MILLIONAIRE) on his extra-revealing ad for CALIFORNIA MUSCLE'S Arabian Boxer. Since the news of Evan's underwear modeling days broke, CALIFORNIA MUSCLE has removed The Arabian Boxer from its Web site, replacing it with a box saying 'New Picture Coming Soon.'
'He has a great physique and he's a great looking guy. The girls were drooling all over him ... the gay guys, too.' — Paula Crane, the bodybuilder photographer who discovered Evan at Gold's Gym in Venice, Calif., in 2001 and referred him to CALIFORNIA MUSCLE for modeling work
'At the end of JOE MILLIONAIRE, the women all learn that he's not a millionaire, but a $19,000-a-year construction worker. They then also learn that he's living with JOE FLIGHT ATTENDANT.' — David Letterman
CALIFORNIA MUSCLE specializes in underwear, swimwear and 'leatherette' garments sold through a bi-annual catalog and Web site.
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