Windy City Media Group Frontpage News


home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-12-08



My Looking Glass
by Vicky Nabors

This article shared 3581 times since Fri Aug 1, 2003
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? What thoughts wander through your mind, truth or fantasy? For many, a mirror is a frightening object because it doesn't lie. A mirror doesn't just present a topical image of people either; it invites them to venture deeper into themselves. It's all in the eyes! I invite you to take a few minutes to explore your eyes in the mirror. Don't be scared, my friends! It won't hurt!

But it will reveal many parts of you that you'd rather not see, parts of you that have been cemented behind an invisible brick wall. Eyes are the looking glass to the soul. In this metaphysical place, we can safely hide those parts of us that, for various reasons, we'd rather not face; it's a denial of the truth. I sense that many of you fear this idea and will probably avoid the mirror for the rest of the month. That's a funny thought, people ducking whenever they see a mirror.

Denial is an interesting phenomenon because people actually think they can ignore unpopular parts of who they are, bad choices they've made, programmed beliefs, or unfortunate situations they've experienced. Denial results when something inside or outside of us makes us uncomfortable; thus, we attempt to hide it from others, and more importantly, from ourselves.

Here's some examples: you can't spell or do multiplication, have thinning or damaged hair (weave), have three nipples (that's right, I said three), had unprotected sex too many times, had sex with the opposite sex—and enjoyed it (hum!), continuously enter into bad relationships, are obsessed with something that isn't good for you, really find church oppressive —but attend anyway and play 'the Hallelujah game,' find interracial relationships or bisexuality attractive, believe that homosexuality IS a sin, was molested, grew up with negligent parents, or just did something stupid. You may not admit it, but these hidden parts of you escape from time-to-time causing unexplained drama for others. But, you make some lame excuses for your behavior and move on.

Many of you will, one day, be forced to explore your personal looking glass, as I was some years ago. Once I began to look, however, something interesting happened; I couldn't stop looking. I guess it was time for me to grow and develop towards my full potential; but this meant facing parts of my life that I'd denied for years.

That was the first step of my development, it had to be done—it was do or die! What finally persuaded me to 'go there,' was the fear that I'd die sick, spiritually broken, broke, and thrown away like so many others before me. That I'd report to a job every day that would overwork and underpay me, and engage in relationships that would slowly destroy my mind, body, and soul.

So many of our female ancestors have walked this path because they didn't have a choice. Today, we do have choice. But, many of you are still taking the wrong road called 'Denial Street'—it's a dead-end road gurls.

A few years ago, I wrote on the issue of acceptance, which is the other side of denial. Acceptance is not always comfortable, but provides some great rewards. 'Hakunnamatata,' my favorite Disney theme song from the Lion King, says it best; it means no worries for the rest of your days.

Acceptance is like a diet, because you slowly trim away your fears and insecurities by facing and dealing with them. It's not that you have to do anything with them—just accept that they exist or that it happened, learn and move on. These unfortunate realities become our foundation of wisdom that we pass on to others. Recently, during the long Pride and Black Pride Celebration, I was forced to re-visit my looking glass. Fortunately, I've learned not to deny my truth many years ago.

So as a result, today I accept the fact that I've been replaced by a new generation of fascinating and energetic baby-dykes. Now, I'm 'Old School.' That's cool, because 'hip-hop' can never replace my 'funkaliscous' groove. Just send me a few 'Old School' fems to keep me company.

This article shared 3581 times since Fri Aug 1, 2003
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Gay News

Queer players of color explore gender, sexuality through role-playing games at NU 2021-12-08
- All of the characters Akbar creates have a similar background: They are intensely asexual, visibly South Asian and around Akbar's age. Sometimes the characters dress like Akbar, too. Akbar uses these characters for Tabletop Club, a ...

Gay News

VIEWS Reporting on queers of color needs to investigate absence as much as presence 2021-11-19
- Earlier this month, I pitched a Windy City Times article that sought to explore how role playing games (RPGs), such as Dungeons & Dragons, enable queer people of color (QPOC) to explore their gender and sexuality ...

Gay News

LGBT History Project: Tee A. Corinne: Photographer of lesbian sexuality 2021-10-19
By Victoria A. Brownworth - Over her decades as a lesbian photographer and artist, Tee Corinne said, "I'm one of the most obscure famous artists." Famous? Yes. Obscure? Certainly not within artistic circles nor within the queer art world where she ...

Gay News

About Face Theatre's 27th season to be produced at The Den Theatre beginning March 2021-07-29
--From a press release - CHICAGO (July 27, 2021) — About Face Theatre is excited to announce its return to live, in-person theatre with its 27th season. Dedicated to telling queer stories that advance dialogue about gender and sexuality, AFT will ...

Gay News

Pastor Donnie McClurkin's struggle with sexuality mirrors the Black church's 2021-04-13
- The most significant factor that keeps the Black church on the down low are closeted, homophobic ministers. Pastor Donnie McClurkin—a three-time Gospel Grammy winner and the former poster boy for ...

Gay News

Author and educator Sarah Chadwick talks new book on female sexuality 2021-02-21
- Sarah Chadwick's debut book, The Sweetness of Venus: A History of the Clitoris, was the result of her desire to understand the status of female sexuality in the West from an historical perspective. During Chadwick's research, ...

Gay News

OP-ED The media needs to stop reporting about Queen Latifah's sexuality 2020-04-28
- Does the media's cat and mouse game of chase with Queen Latifah lead many of us—especially in the LGBTQ+ community—to another "Gotcha!" moment of her coming out- that ain't!? A recent Zoom version of Red Table ...

Gay News

Rush kicks off ambitious LGBT-health initiative 2020-01-21
- Officials from Rush University Medical Center marked the launch of their new LGBT-focused health program, Affirm: The Rush Center for Gender, Sexuality and Reproductive Health, at an event in the facility's lobby the morning of Jan. ...

Gay News

Pioneering gay cartoonist Cruse dies at 75 2019-12-01
- (WILLIAMSTOWN, MASSACHUSETTS, Nov. 26)—Howard Cruse—a pioneer in the LGBTQ cartooning movement and the author of Stuck Rubber Baby, a 1995 award-winning graphic novel about the intersection of race and sexuality ...

Gay News

Study says revealing sexual orientation at work improves well-being 2019-10-07
- HOUSTON — (Oct. 7, 2019) — Being open about your sexual orientation in the workplace is beneficial to your overall well-being, according to new research from Rice University. "Opening up about your sexuality at work is ...

Gay News

Softball player reflects on sexuality in sports, teamwork 2019-06-26
By MACKENZIE MURTAUGH - From morning to night, Chicago Bandits pitcher Aleshia Ocasio commits herself to two things: softball and benevolence. During the season for the National Pro Fastpitch team, she bustles away during training, practice and under the ballpark's ...

Gay News

Vatican publishes anti-LGBT document 2019-06-10
- The Vatican has released the document "Male and Female He Created Them: Towards a path of dialogue on the question of gender in education" to address issues surrounding sexuality and gender identity, PBS reported. "Male and ...

Gay News

SHOWBIZ Tegan and Sara, 'The Boys in the Band,' Charlize Theron, Janet Jackson 2019-04-23
- Twins/indie band Tegan and Sara are releasing their memoir, High School, reported. It tells their coming-of-age story: growing up in Alberta, Canada, grappling with their sexuality, and facing the pressures of adulthood as the end ...

Gay News

BOOK REVIEW She He They Me: For the Sisters, Misters and Binary Resisters 2019-04-07
- By Robyn Ryle $22.99; Source Books; 400 pages Imagine being a young, queer or curious child with a lot of questions, but not a lot of resources on gender, sexuality, and terminology that come without judgement ...

Gay News

ELECTIONS 2019 Lightfoot questions Preckwinkle's comment about lesbianism 2019-03-11
- During a March 7 debate between mayoral candidates Lori Lightfoot and Toni Preckwinkle, Preckwinkle lauded Lightfoot's openness about her sexuality when moderator Carol Marin asked each candidate what she admired about the other, The Chicago Tribune ...


Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.






About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.