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Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-03-16



From the Booth

This article shared 2719 times since Wed Jul 20, 2005
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with Pubert and Dicksel

'Porn Experts' Pubert and Dicksel promise to be punctual, picky, and probing with all their reviews. Thumbs up the butt ( good review ) or finger down the throat ( gag me dude ) - you be the judge. Grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!

Chi Chi LaRue's Hardware

Judging a Porn By Its Cover

P: Front cover displays hot men in leather pants.

D: I love the tattoos!

P: Back cover showcases a cowboy showing us his backyard.

D: Definitely would buy this from the cover alone.

First scene begins with clients in an office where they go to get their fantasies fulfilled using a Sex O' Tron. Each of the three clients enters a room where the computer creates a scenario for them.

Client #1

P: His name is Mr. Wilson ( played by Johnny Hazzard ) ? He changes from a nerd to a leather boi!

D: He gets to play with leather daddy ( played by Joshua Adams ) . Lick that tattoo!

P & D: Ewww!

D: He just spit in his mouth!

P: And now he is spitting on his leather pants. Spit n' shine!

D: Is this what safe sex has come to? Sex through leather pants!

P: Wait, the pants are coming off now. The pink rubber is so manly.

D: Mr. Wilson is getting plowed by Dennis the Menace!

P: He is jabbing his balls with his penis. What do you call that? The Ball Buster?!?

D: No, it is called the Head in the Sack!

Client #2

P: This customer's ( played by Chad Thomas ) dream is to be behind bars as an inmate.

D: He looks like Willy Wonka and here comes the Chocolate Factory!

P: In walks cell guard ( played by Randy Gunz ) . That is some dark dick!

D: Is that Martha Stewart's old cell? Nice lime green quilt.

Client #3

P: This guy ( Theo Blake ) has a fantasy to be a cowboy. Must be a Mexican ranch. Love the Latin cowboy played by Daniel Duarte.

D: It's Bo and Luke Duke on a haystack!

P: Straw on the dick, not tasty for a blowjob. The blonde actor is missing part of his ear—gross. Piercing it really keeps the attention away... ha ha.

D: Maybe he had an accident in the General Lee.

P: The last scene is the nasty secretary from the office using the Sex O' Tron computer to whip up a three way. So what did you think, Dicksel?

D: I liked the music, it was a little Knots Landing theme song in some places, though.

P: The camera angles are great!

D: Yeah, they know how to shoot from far away to see everything.

P: I hate to see all close-ups; gimme the full fantasy. This was a first rate production.

D: Yeah, they had me from cover to cover.

To order this go the web site www.Channel1Releasing .com

Pubert: Thumb up the Butt

Dicksel: Thumb up the butt

Heated About Hardware? E-mail and we can discuss!

This article shared 2719 times since Wed Jul 20, 2005
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