'Porn Expert' Pubert promises to be punctual, picky, and probing with all his reviews. Thumbs up the butt ( good review ) or finger down the throat ( gag me dude ) , you be the judge. Grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!
Colt Minute Man Solo 23
Judging a Porn by Its Cover
P: We're going solo! Three solo scenes to review.
D: Looks like an actor's headshots.
P: A little too pretty, maybe airbrushed.
A large bearded man named Carlo shows us his pool.
P: He is too muscular for me.
D: I love that, mmmm. What is with him licking his bicep?
P: Licking his asshole would be a real talent. He just winked at you!
( Dicksel waves at the TV ) D: Hello Carlo!
P: The music is so relaxing, Enya-like.
D: Up-Enya like... he is winking again, maybe it's a twitch.
P: The hair is good, very natural.
D: Thanks, Colt, for keeping it real. His hair is parted on the side like a little schoolboy.
He lays down on the concrete, legs spread.
D: He can wink with all three eyes now!
He spits on his penis.
P & D: Yeeeaaahhhh! Less winking and more spitting!
D: He just gave himself the reach around.
P: He looks like he might fall in the pool.
D: He is a little too monkey-ish for me.
P: And too much posing, too drawn out, finally he cums.
D: Wonder if he gets paid more to eat it?
P: He is a Neanderthal.
D: 'Me want cum in face!'
Next actor named Leo shows us his backyard.
P: Leo just woke up. Another missing link. Gotta start the day stretching.
D: He is doing the Jane Fonda Jerk Off Workout! He is licking his arm muscles like Carlo.
P: I don't like it when he smiles. He's looking at the camera too much.
D: He gets points for standing and cumming.
P: Someone needs to clean out that pool. Get out the bug net!
Cover boy Chris Wide shows us his patio.
P: Nice looking, quarterback type.
D: He's the college jock that everyone wanted to fuck.
P: We could have done without the two earlier caveman bodyguards. People have been watching this for an hour to get to the good stuff!
D: This is why people should buy it, for him.
P: I like his tan. Maybe it is a spray on.
D: He's spraying lotion on his penis. He doesn't want a burnt pecker.
P: He's in the pool now. Does everyone have a pool in California?
D: He's shooting his love underwater. His babies are free. Swim for you life!
P: They could have called this Found Nemo. Talk about a sperm whale!
P: Solo videos are not my bag, baby.
D: I love solo videos but not this one; two beasts and a beauty.
P: Too long, and not a fan of the music, very Casio sounding.
D: I don't feel horny, I want to go to the gym and not eat! I am a huge Colt fan but this was a let down.
P: Let's go eat at McDonald's.
Check out for yourself at www.COLTstudiostore.com
Do you like it solo? firstname.lastname@example.org