'Porn Expert' Pubert and 'Leather Daddy' Dicksel give porn a thumb-up-the-butt or a finger-down-the-throat! D & P go deep. Grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!
Passport to Paradise
From Raging Stallion Studios
P: Well, Groeper started having nightmares about penis' attacking her so I am placing her on a vacation from dick. Which brings me to an old friend of mine, Dicksel, who is going to be helping me out with my reviews.
Judging a Porn by Its Cover
P: So, Dicksel, what do you think of the cover?
D: Very Indiana Jones style!
P: I think some of the actors need a 'Passport' to get in the United States!
D: Two-disk set, in case your right hand gets tired, you can use the other disk with your left. Pop it in, let's go.
First scene has a blonde played by Pete Ross on vacation wandering up to a house.
D: This looks like the Golden Girls house. Is Dorothy going to come out onto the lanai?
P: It's so good to not be the only gay in the booth for a change!
Blondie opens the door and goes inside. Stumbles onto a scene with Ivan Andross and Gerald
P: Ivan was in a previous video I saw with Groeper. Ivan and I go way back.
D: You are such the porn expert. I would totally let Ivan take a dump on my chest.
P: He's hot but Gerald is a goof ball.
D: The water running in the background makes me want to pee.
P: I can't understand Ivan's english. 'Leeek those balls.' Leak them?
D: He sounds like the Swedish chef from the Muppets. 'U like eet?'
Blondie continues on through the house, maybe looking for porridge or the three bears? He spies on Ivan Andross and Carlos Morales.
P: Blondie gets another free show.
D: Someone has been sleeping in my bed...
P: He spits on his hole and misses! Does he play for the Bulls?
D: Better scene because they speak Spanish. Ivan is a hot bottom!
P: His buns are finger lickin' good. Carlos' cock looks purple from the cock ring.
D: In the real world he would be more careful with those Marshall Fields pillows before throwing that lube around! His ass is on a designer pillow.
P: What is he doing? Lamaze breathing?
Blondie continues on the through the house ( with his coat on? ) .
He finds the homeowner cover man, Miguel Leon.
D: I guess the bear found Goldielocks. Let this be a lesson to you. If you sneak in someone's house you are going to get it up the butt!
P: I will keep that in mind for the future.
D: How does he cum without touching? That's like driving with no hands!
P: The scimitar in the background is going like crazy, like Ricky Martin, ' he bangs, he bangs'.
D: The place is a fire hazard with all the candles.
Blondie walks out of the Golden Girls like house. 'Thank you for being a friend.'
We both give the 'Passport to Paradise' a thumb up the butt. Dicksel kept exclaiming,'Where can I rent this?', and 'I'm going to try this at home!' The DVD has great extras, like a behind the scenes feature. Where you learn fun stuff like Gerald is French.
If you are not a fan of Latinos then this may not be the video for you. Blondie is not very hot and almost everyone else has some Latin flava.
Note to Raging Stallion–stop shaving Ivan! He is hot all natural. Not all gays like hairless boys!
P: thumb up the butt
D: thumb up the butt
Was Dicksel limp? Or is he stiff competition for Groeper? Write pubert@windycitymdiagroup.com and let him know!
Pubert@windycitymediagroup.com
