'Porn Expert' Pubert and 'Straight Girl' Groeper give porn a thumb-up-the-butt or a finger-down-the-throat! P & G promise to be more than PG and never PC! Grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!
Hot Cops 4: Bustin' Loose
From Centaur Films
P: Well, let's see what we have here; a release from 1997 that was only VHS and now on available DVD.
Judging a Porn by It's Cover:
P: A play on the COPS TV show.
G: Hot Cops, Hot Cops, Who Ya Gonna Do? How long has that show been on TV?
P: Has jail bars with scenes on back cover.
...groups of men enter a club and have sex in a bathroom
P: Okay, the music is bad already. They are not selling any soundtracks with me.
G: Look at the 'fun hole'.
P: Um, it's called a glory hole, Groeper.
G: It says 'fun hole' on the stall wall.
P: Oh, you're right.
G: Stars 'Bud Stetson'! Hilarious, and he is wearing a Hard Rock jacket. I had one in 8th grade.
P: Here come the veins again ( to the tune of the Eurythmics ) .
G: This is like 21 Jump Street.
P: It's a 90's video set in the 80's!
G: Was it before braces were invented? Nice teeth, and the bathroom that they are having sex in is gross, ew!
P: Good thing the place gets raided to end the spread of germs.
...a person being pulled over, we hear the inner thoughts of the victim.
'Was I speeding?'
P: Sounds like he's in a cave.
G: The policeman almost falls out of his car!
P: How intimidating…
G: Bud the Cop seems real old.
P: Part of the role play.
...takes him to a secluded spot and makes him strip.
G: Is that Santana on the soundtrack? The speeder's penis is small.
P: If I was the cop, I would throw the ticket out and pretend it never happened!
...takes the speeder to a jail cell with various inmates. Prisoners have sex with each other.
P: Now it's all cumming together.
G: The bricks are painted on the wall! Is one of them wearing Reebok pumps?
P: The last video had too much lube, this one doesn't have enough ( see March 30 Nightspots ) .
P: They keep stressing all the wrong words!
G: Maybe this is before acting classes were invented.
P: One guy jacking off is still locked in his cell. He's left out.
G: Maybe he's dangerous.
P: The description says this is his only video appearance.
G: I am sure after this one, his phone wasn't ringing off the hook!
Overall, this one should have stayed on VHS. We laughed so hard from the dialogue that we were crying. The humor factor we would give a thumbs up. Comedy of the year. Adam Sandler could learn from this video. We laughed, we cried, it became a part of us.
Unfortunately most people don't watch porn for humor so we had to give it a thumbs down the throat. For bad acting and limp dicks.
P: Finger down the throat, but up the funny bone
G: Limp finger down the throat
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