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Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-08-31



From the Booth
by Pubert and Groeper

This article shared 2742 times since Wed Mar 30, 2005
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'Porn Expert' Pubert and 'Straight Girl' Groeper give porn a thumb-up-the-butt or a finger-down-the-throat! P & G promise to be more than PG and never PC! Grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!

Party in the Rear

from Raging Stallion

Judging a Porn by its cover:

G: Wow, is that Photoshop? Haha!

P: What's so funny?

G: It looks like he is biting his penis.

Here are some quotes:

'It doubles as a towel holder.'

'I was lucky enough to be fucked by Michael Brandon.'

P: What a lucky fucky ducky!

...a swimming pool scene, cover boy Ivan gets a blow job from another Latin guy, no plot, no story

G: Cute tush. Doesn't the cement hurt his knees? Do they do that in straight porn?

P: Do what?

G: Lick butt holes.

P: Not that I have noticed.

G: They are working hard for their money in the sun: no tan lines, since they are naked.

P: Finally a Latin guy and he is hot! Looks like his chest hair is growing back.

...a third white guy joins them and yells at the others to change positions

G: Bossy, what is he the director?

P: Ivan is translating to the other Latin guy. How sweet. He's not left out from the hot talk!

G: It looks like his butt is a mango!

P: Good thing I am here to translate the Spanish for you, Groeper. Ivan is calling him dirty names. You aren't missing much.

G: I want revenge for the bottom guy. He should throw him in the pool!

P: This is supposed to be a party, G!

G: Ooo, he's moaning like a monster from Scooby Doo.

...same backyard patio, two guys have sex on an inflatable raft. Same guys as the last scene with a different bottom.

G: He's spraying the lube like a garden hose!

P: Can't have too much lube!

G: Is this a ride at Six Flags? Look at how he's holding onto the raft for dear life!

P: It's a rafter-coaster.

G: He should use the sperm as sun tan lotion; he is going to burn out there. And he is screaming like a banshee again.

P: WARNING: If you are a kid hiding your porn at home, keep the volume down! Asian with multiple piercings and a white fella, no transition

P: Finally, the diversity we have been looking for!

G: Have you been with a guy that is pierced before.

P: No Prince Alberts in my past, honey.

G: Joshua Adams was in the 'Going Deep Down Under' video. Why do I know his name? I had nightmares about him!

P: More lube? Land of lube and honey in this video. Must have been sponsored by WET.

P: Michael Brandon basically fucks the whole cast in this video. What do you think?

G: Michael is the dominate character. I don't like him. I am not a rough and tumble kinda gal.

P: Why isn't Michael Brandon on the cover? Not that Ivan isn't hot, mind you. The press release is all 'Michael, Michael, Michael'.

G: Overall, this video has good bodies, good tans, and the lighting is nice. But, it has no story and the same location over and over.

P: Michael Brandon fans will love this video. He hasn't done porn in over a year, which in porn-time is like a decade! Was the title 'Pool Party' taken?

This party's a real scream!

G: Finger down the throat

P: Thumb up the butt

This article shared 2742 times since Wed Mar 30, 2005
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