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Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13



From the Booth
by Pubert and Groeper

This article shared 2955 times since Wed Feb 9, 2005
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'Porn Expert' Pubert and 'Straight Girl' Groeper give porn a thumb-up-the-butt or a finger-down-the-throat! P & G promise to be more than PG and never PC! Grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!

Prep School Punks by Vividman

Judging a Porn by Its Cover

Pubert: They always put an airbrushed-to-perfection guy on the cover to lure people in...

Groeper: The guy looks so feminine. I wouldn't pick this movie up from the cover.

P: I don't like 4 hour hodge podge porn!

Time to Hit Play

G: ( she screams )

P: The preview has the most veiny cock I have ever seen!

G: I have never seen a man eating another man's butt! Do they really do that? Doesn't it taste like poo?

P: Some of us clean ourselves first, Groeper. Some just like the taste.

First scene has two guys getting it on on a cowskin rug.

G: Why is their underwear so ugly?

P: OOOH Groeper, it's a jockstrap that he is wearing.

G: He is already lubed up.

P: This video cuts to the chase, no warm up, G.

P: The guy has bad teeth and the picture is very grainy.

G: I want to know about the relationship!

P: Are they doing the splits?

G: The scene is like a girl and guy together, very hot! The poor cowskin rug is getting dirty from the cum.

...two guys in a 69 position.

G: Isn't it hard to be in that position and not choke?

P: The hair is out of control, his pubes are like a forest!

G: This is like a hairless Luke Skywalker with Chewbacca.

...a 1980's bedroom

G: Why is the guy so excited, he is only kissing his chest?!?

P: I have seen the exact same set with different actors.

G: The guy is not even hard.

P: Welcome to gay porn, honey!

G: How do they decide who fucks whom?

P: That would be up to the casting agent or director.

G: They are focusing on the set too much. Show me the dick!

P: Nice drawblinds...

...a hotel room

P: The guys are so blindingly white.

G: I don't like the close up of the butt pimples.

G: He looks like an alien David Bowie!

...a threesome

G: This is my first threesome!

P: They are so sweaty already.

G: Doesn't it hurt when he sucks his balls so hard?

P: That's the point, and they are hanging so low, maybe too much sucking.

G: The guy is burnt from the tanning bed! a night club.

G: What does the leather strap around his penis do?

P: Makes him last longer. The smoke machine is not erotic.

G: What's with the slow mo? I have never seen red pubes before.

After too many scenes, the final scene is in a shower, somewhere...

P: Any gay guy would look at that shower and be disgusted. There is mold everyhwere.

G: The actors are going to catch an infection from the bacteria!

P: Well, it is 1:00 a.m. Had enough?

G: I am ready to go home to my boyfriend.

P: Our first movie together could on our top ten worst of the year list!

G: It is called Prep School Punks, so where was the school? A locker room scene could have been hot.

P: I knew you were the right woman for the job!

Pubert – Finger-down-the-throat

Groeper – Finger-down-the-throat

Cumming next time – Ski Patrol!

This article shared 2955 times since Wed Feb 9, 2005
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