The Guns of BDF from BigDikFactory
Pubert recruits daredevil Colon Farehole out of the phone booth and into the porn booth to get help with his adult minority report. This S.W.A.T. team will stop bad movies in their tracks and promise a new world through their commentary. So grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Colin: What is BDF?
Pubert: Big Dick Factory; apparently they are manufactured there.
C: The guy in the corner of the cover is FINE!
Starts off with a queenie guy in a baseball cap talking about dick sizes along with clips from the movie...
P: Is this the best of Big Dicks?
C: This is in Chicago. He just mentioned 'the streets of Chicago.'
P: Is that a big dick or just a close-up camera shot?
C: Is this a comedy or a porn?
P: This is just excerpts from their past videos.
C: Look at him peeking around. Is that bareback? That kid is ugly. I don't think they will be learning anything in this classroom scene today. He has a big one.
P: Yes, he does. If you just focus on the big bird then it can be hot. But that face... .
C: This video is for guys who like 'em young and hung.
P: This is what happens in a classroom: one kid acts up and they lose control.
C: The one student still has his glasses on.
P: The host of this video is a dork!
C: Basically, we are in frat room now.
P: The music is from Dead Poet's Society.
C: Or from the Peanuts cartoon.
P: Charlie Brown didn't like the big ones. He liked the scrawny ones.
C: Like his Christmas tree!
P: Oh my gosh! He just pulled out a measuring tape.
C: These students are competitive. What is with the shiny disco shirt?
P: It's what kids are wearing these days.
C: And now another guy comes in to measure the dicks with his mouth.
P: It is a tough job but someone has to do it.
C: He said, 'This is just like Lord of the Cock Rings: The Two Towers.'
P: No they didn't!
C: Yes, they did go there... .
P: Nice orange hue with the lighting in this video. Perfect for Thanksgiving.
C: And orange pubes for that matter.
P: The video's host has a cat like yours, Colin!
C: Who let pussy loose in the video?
The next segment has a guy getting a blowjob while he rubs the blower with a paintbrush...
P: I have seen it all now!
C: Someone thought this was hot? I didn't know Columbia College was making porn these days!
P: The host just said, ' A horse face always has a horse cock.'
C: Can't believe it. This is a like a school project and I give it an F!
P: The dialogue is laughable but sometimes natural: 'The scruff on your face feels like Velcro.' Past videos from the company might deserve a look.
C: The guns are loaded in this video.
P: But someone left the safety on... .
Pubert: Thumbs down the throat.
Colin: Thumbs down the throat.
To purchase a loaded weapon go to www.bigdikfactory.com
Happy Turkey Day! I hope you all get stuffed…
For past articles of From the Booth go to www.windycitymediagroup.com and type in 'Pubert'