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From the Booth: Hustle and Cruise
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
by Randy Pubert

This article shared 6254 times since Wed Oct 24, 2007
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by Falcon Video

Pubert: Is this like the movie Hustle and Flow?

Groeper: Johnny Castle? Hmm, lots of internet buzz on him.

P: Seems a little plastic.

Two male prostitutes discuss hustling on a local street corner.

P: He's rubbing himself.

G: For his client.

P: Too trimmed. Maybe it's the HD on your TV.

G: I see his pores. Now everyone is going to want HD with their porn.

P: This could change the industry! Okay, the movie is dragging on.

G: No matter how pretty you are, it's just not interesting to watch.

P: Next! Hit fast forward.

G: Yeah, not a good opening scene. The cover model should at least have sex.

Second prostitute finds a date and gets a blowjob in an alley.

P: He's got a giant head on his penis.

G: His tongue piercing is so sexy.

P: You think so? I was just talking about how I think they are passé.

G: I even like the piercing over the eyebrow.

P: There's an orange ball on the end of it. No thanks.

G: The garbage can thrown to the side makes a nice prop.

P: The top guy has a normal body, a little bit of a belly but not bad.

G: He has an unfortunate birthmark on his ass. Looks like shit.

P: Is that a George Bush tattoo?

G: Maybe it's Clinton.

P: It's like Mount Rushmore on his leg.

G: Know the secret to talking dirty in porn?

P: No, tell me.

G: Just repeat everything back that you are doing at the time. 'Fuck me harder!' ' Yeah, take that dick!'

P: You are so right. Good tip for the up-and-coming John Holmes.

The two prostitutes reconvene and notice a new hustler. He is 'giving it away for free' and this stirs up trouble. Next, we follow him to the bathroom where he meets a stranger.

G: Holy Larry Craig!

P: He just wiggled his hand under the stall. I guess that is sign language for 'let's get it on.'

G: He's hung like a horse.

P: The water fountain in the bathroom makes something good to lean on.

G: Leave your socks on, guy. The floor is dirty.

P: He just screamed like a girl!

G: Well, you would too if you had someone as big as Chad Hunt in you!

P: Look at him go.

G: He always puts his hands behind his head and thrusts.

P: What is this, the porn star workout video? Here's how I do jumping jacks!

G: Big watery cum finish.

Two men meet at a cruisy spot.

P: Cute couple.

G: He's gonna get razor burn on his ass.

P: Sweating a lot there.

G: He's wearing mascara, all right.

P: Good cumshots in this scene.

Two muscle guys finish this video with a booty call to each other.

G: Stop with the steroids!

P: He's just too chiseled for me.

G: OMG, he just rubbed cum in his eye.

P: And on the sofa, too.

G: No group sex in this video, just so people know.

P: Skip the first and last scene.

G: Although there are some very good cumshots in store for the viewer.

Pubert: Thumbs marginally up the butt.

Groeper: Thumbs up the butt.

Go to if you don't want to get hustled by another video.

For past articles hit up and type in 'pubert.'

This article shared 6254 times since Wed Oct 24, 2007
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