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Windy City Times 2023-12-13



From the Booth: Grindass House by Dirty Bird Pictures
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
by Randy Pubert

This article shared 5145 times since Wed Aug 15, 2007
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Pubert: Two movies in one.

Groeper: Good sense of humor on the cover.

Our first feature is called 'Ranger Wood and the Pizza Boy.'

P: Look, the pizza boy is on roller skates. The intro switches to Ranger Wood.

G: Look at that background. The Ranger is laying on a sleeping bag to jack off.

P: Does he have a tiger shark on his back?

G: I think you are right. It's a shark and he sounds like a tiger growling.

P: His groans slow down when he cums.

G: Not a fan of solo scenes.

Now we return to the pizza boy making a delivery.

P: His customer is only wearing a robe, how convenient.

G: His pornstar name is Pete Zaboy. And he just rolled on those nice new floors.

P: He just threw the pizza box on the couch. Good thing it was empty.

G: They both have nice teeth.

P: The video just got louder.

G: Well, the microphone is closer to his mouth now.

P: He's eating the pizza while he gets blown.

G: They are so close up for the penetration.

P: It just slipped out. He just said, 'Tear that ass up.' I can't imagine saying that to someone.

G: What kind of cockring is that? A small plastic one?

A three-way begins with Ranger Wood and friends.

P: They are in a garage. What's up with the set?

G: There are fake plastic trees. This is silly.

P: Look at that tanline.

G: Too much time camping, I guess.

P: Wood is in the middle.

G: And he looks bored.

P: Is he done yet?

G: Yes, he just finished shooting all over him.

P: This is like leap frog.

G: There is dancing in between scenes.

P: And an intermission like at the drive in. Am I showing my age?

G: Along with bad previews and lines on the screen.

P: Dracula's fangs almost fell out in that coming attraction!

Second feature is called Route 69.

P: This part is directed by Tara Teeno.

G: They made up funny pornstar names just for this movie, like Manny Kanblo.

P: He just walked up to the car and got in with another dude. Is it that easy?

G: In Palm Springs, it can be.

P: They just apologized for a bad reel. Like in the old time movie theatre.

G: You're showing your age again! I like his plaid pants.

P: He's using a dildo on him on top of a kitchen table.

G: It's too big for him. I'll take the leftovers.

Three guys share beers and each others' bodies.

P: He tore off his '70s wig to go down on him.

G: But one guy is leaving his sunglasses on. Something hot about that...

P: His cum is gooey.

G: Maybe not drinking enough water.

P: And here comes the '70s eight track.

G: Everyone is going to think you are old after reading this review!

P: I did a lot of research; I am not a day over twenty!

G: Is that in dog or internet years?

P: So, let's change the subject. What do you think of the movie?

G: Well, the cast is sexy.

P: A little slow in places and blurry, but maybe that is part of the charm.

G: The sense of humor is hilarious and the guys are cute.

P: Definitely current and up to date but also retro.

G: This double feature gets a double thumbs up the butt!

Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.

Groeper: Thumbs up the butt.

To get double your money with one video go to .

For past reviews check out and type in 'pubert.'

This article shared 5145 times since Wed Aug 15, 2007
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