Pubert: Two movies in one.
Groeper: Good sense of humor on the cover.
Our first feature is called 'Ranger Wood and the Pizza Boy.'
P: Look, the pizza boy is on roller skates. The intro switches to Ranger Wood.
G: Look at that background. The Ranger is laying on a sleeping bag to jack off.
P: Does he have a tiger shark on his back?
G: I think you are right. It's a shark and he sounds like a tiger growling.
P: His groans slow down when he cums.
G: Not a fan of solo scenes.
Now we return to the pizza boy making a delivery.
P: His customer is only wearing a robe, how convenient.
G: His pornstar name is Pete Zaboy. And he just rolled on those nice new floors.
P: He just threw the pizza box on the couch. Good thing it was empty.
G: They both have nice teeth.
P: The video just got louder.
G: Well, the microphone is closer to his mouth now.
P: He's eating the pizza while he gets blown.
G: They are so close up for the penetration.
P: It just slipped out. He just said, 'Tear that ass up.' I can't imagine saying that to someone.
G: What kind of cockring is that? A small plastic one?
A three-way begins with Ranger Wood and friends.
P: They are in a garage. What's up with the set?
G: There are fake plastic trees. This is silly.
P: Look at that tanline.
G: Too much time camping, I guess.
P: Wood is in the middle.
G: And he looks bored.
P: Is he done yet?
G: Yes, he just finished shooting all over him.
P: This is like leap frog.
G: There is dancing in between scenes.
P: And an intermission like at the drive in. Am I showing my age?
G: Along with bad previews and lines on the screen.
P: Dracula's fangs almost fell out in that coming attraction!
Second feature is called Route 69.
P: This part is directed by Tara Teeno.
G: They made up funny pornstar names just for this movie, like Manny Kanblo.
P: He just walked up to the car and got in with another dude. Is it that easy?
G: In Palm Springs, it can be.
P: They just apologized for a bad reel. Like in the old time movie theatre.
G: You're showing your age again! I like his plaid pants.
P: He's using a dildo on him on top of a kitchen table.
G: It's too big for him. I'll take the leftovers.
Three guys share beers and each others' bodies.
P: He tore off his '70s wig to go down on him.
G: But one guy is leaving his sunglasses on. Something hot about that...
P: His cum is gooey.
G: Maybe not drinking enough water.
P: And here comes the '70s eight track.
G: Everyone is going to think you are old after reading this review!
P: I did a lot of research; I am not a day over twenty!
G: Is that in dog or internet years?
P: So, let's change the subject. What do you think of the movie?
G: Well, the cast is sexy.
P: A little slow in places and blurry, but maybe that is part of the charm.
G: The sense of humor is hilarious and the guys are cute.
P: Definitely current and up to date but also retro.
G: This double feature gets a double thumbs up the butt!
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.
Groeper: Thumbs up the butt.
To get double your money with one video go to www.dirtybirdpictures.com .
For past reviews check out www.windycitymediagroup.com and type in 'pubert.'