Windy City Media Group Frontpage News


home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor



F.Y.I.: Ask the Chat Daddy
by Chat Daddy

This article shared 2691 times since Wed Jun 1, 2005
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Art Sims

Welcome to June 2005. As we prepare to celebrate another year of Gay Pride it is most important that we start celebrating another year of no regrets. Many of you may question, "What could this guy mean, no regrets?" Many of us celebrate Pride with parties, celebrations and such, but many of us don't celebrate a personal pride. When I say a personal pride, I speak of self-acceptance and a genuine love for letting others know who you are and what you truly stand for. So many of us are still very "closeted" out of the fear of being discovered or found out by people as close to us as our family and or loved ones. Too often our voices are silenced because our families, communities and churches don't acknowledge our existence but we still love these elements unconditionally. My advice to you is that if you are to celebrate, truly celebrate your own independence and pride in being who you really want to be. We are living in 2005, not 1905. For so many of us, this is a tremendous sacrifice, but do you realize that there is very little joy or happiness in living a life where you are lying to yourself on a continuous basis because you are afraid to tell people what truly makes you happy. For some people, they are afraid of what others may think about the unconventional path that they have chosen, but when you are living a fulfilled life, your unconventionalness should not matter. If you truly are afraid, there are plenty of support groups that are able to help you to come into your full awareness of self. The more you know about self, the prouder you will be. No one is fiercer or more fabulous that you are at this moment in time. Celebrate your talents, accomplishments and opportunities with pride.

I wish all my readers a happy and joyous Pride but most of all, I need for you to understand who you are and what your true purpose on the Earth really is.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I've never had a problem with meeting guys. It seems that I tend to meet all the wrong guys. I don't consider myself to be an extremely attractive person, but I'm very nice, employed and have an outgoing personality. I find that most guys tend to use me ( sex & my money ) for all the wrong reasons. I'd like to know what I could do to change this situation.

Just A Plain Simple Guy

Dear Just A Plain Simple Guy,

This is a very common problem in today's society and it has nothing to do with looks. It seems that everyone finds great joy and pleasure in using people up. A lot of these guys aren't looking for relationships because many of them need to find themselves. A man who is developing himself doesn't have time to devote to a relationship. Most guys keep a collection of people to fulfill there different needs and desires. Most people feel that something better will come along and ask themselves why should they settle for just an average Joe. This in my book is very shallow behavior. Continue to develop yourself and never put your life on hold for someone else.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I'm a 37-year-old female who recently met a very attractive female while at a baseball game. We've gone out a few times and now are considering a long-term commitment. I don't feel that we do enough communicating or should I say there have not been enough questions answered about our likes and dislikes. Can you give me some pointers on questions that I should ask that might lead us closer together?

Two Of A Kind

Dear Two Of A Kind,

Communication is the number one element in any relationship. So many times we are so caught up in the excitement of having someone, that we don't fully discuss some of the key components to a healthy and happy relationship. Let me share a few things that will help you have great communication in your relationship.

Are you equally attracted to each other?

Do you trust each other?

Are you both gainfully employed?

Do you have similar attitudes about sex?

Are you able to make each other laugh?

Do you have similar views about money, religion and politics?

How do you both view drug and alcohol use?

What foods does your mate really enjoy?

I hope that these very easy and simple questions will help spark even more discovery of each other.

Dear Chat Daddy,

I have a problem that I really need to address. I think I may be addicted to sex. I think about it all the time and when I do get it, it's never enough to satisfy me. I find myself picking up strangers after work just for the sake of having sex with them. I'm afraid that if this doesn't stop I will be in serious trouble. Can you give me some insight on this?

I Just Can't Get Enough

Dear I Just Can't Get Enough,

I hate to be the one to tell you this but you are indeed a sex-addict. Any time you can't control your urges and desires despite the fact that you are fully aware of the consequences of your actions you need to seek professional attention. Sexual addiction sometimes spells out trouble that could be from a bad childhood to low self-esteem. Just like any other addiction with time and patience you can truly overcome your addiction one step at a time. What ever you do, please wrap it up and practice safe sex.

Dear Chat Daddy,

My lover of five years has had six jobs in the five years we have been dating. Every job that he has worked on, there has been some type of problem and drama with him in the workplace. Every time that I try to talk to him about this, he flies off the handle with me about the situation. I on the other hand have been on my job for over ten years and realize that all jobs have their ups and downs. Can you help me to explain to this 37-year-old man, that this behavior is not cute!

Why Are You Home Today

Dear Why Are You Home Today,

Your mate may be the type of person who may appear to be one way at home and be another at work. For one reason or another, he's probably very argumentative, intimidating, condescending or threatening to others in the workplace. People who tend to change jobs as often as the seasons change seem to never take the approach that it could be them that is the reason why every job turns out to be a conflicting situation. In this day and age with the economy being the way it is, it is important that we seek out employment that is fulfilling and that will cause the least amount of drama and conflict. I wish your friend a higher level of employment and understanding in the workplace.

Dear Chat Daddy,

My girlfriend likes sex more than I do. I enjoy it but not as often as she would like to have it. We have a three years old child and I work two jobs. How can we get back to getting our groove on?

-Relighting My Fire

Dear Relighting My Fire,

This is a very common problem with a lot of working couples, especially those with children, fatigue is often a mood killer for more or less sex in a relationship. One way to have more sex is to schedule it. I know this sounds crazy but we all must make time for some pleasure. This will give you both something to look forward to. Try connecting at lease once a day, even if it's only for 15 to 30 minutes of private time. Be open and honest with each other about your desires. I wish you more love than you can handle.

-Chat Daddy

Please feel free to contact me at .

This article shared 2691 times since Wed Jun 1, 2005
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


Gay News

TELEVISION Parvesh Cheena connects to NBC
Openly gay actor Parvesh Cheena is coping with the pandemic on NBC with a show called Connecting. This new ensemble comedic tale is told through video chats each week covering current topics such as mask wearing, ...

Gay News

Billy Masters
"I don't ever picture Dame Barbara Cartland doggie-style!"—Billy Masters explains that writers of fiction need not write solely from experience. This was part of a longer chat with writer Christopher Rice on Billy Masters LIVE! Are ...

Gay News

STREAMING THEATER REVIEW The Golden Girls: The Lost Episodes!
Vol. 4, Lockdown! - Playwright: David Cerda At: Hell in a Handbag Productions, streaming online. Tickets: Runs through: Aug. 15 As the long intermission drags on into its fifth month, home movies and backstage chat are no longer enough ...

Gay News

21st Ward holds own Pride event
Chicago's 21st Ward—an area on the city's South Side that includes neighborhoods such as parts of Auburn Gresham, Washington Heights, Gresham, Chatham and Roseland—held its own Pride event June 27. Photos courtesy of Lisa Maxey ...

Gay News

COVID-19 pandemic focus of Latinx Pride virtual community chat
The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic was the focus of the first in a series of Association of Latinx Motivating Action (ALMA) "Latinx Pride: Integrating Past & Present Lessons to Move Forward" community chats in partnership with Center ...

Gay News

WORLD Zambia pardon, fashion house, HIV+ mayor, Costa Rica marriage
Zambia's president pardoned a gay couple sentenced to 15 years in prison in November under colonial-era sodomy laws in a case that caused a diplomatic conflict with the United States, Reuters reported. Japhet Chataba, 39, and ...

Gay News

Leather64TEN Presents Kurt Allen Outstanding Community Service Award 2020
On Saturday, March 14, Leather64TEN will present the very first Kurt Allen Outstanding Community Service Award to Gerald "Daddy G" Cernak. The event will take place 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at Jackhammer Bar, 6406 N. Clark St. ...

Gay News

Reports: Teen to testify against Aurora church employee
A minor alleging that an Aurora area church employee solicited nude photos from them via Snap Chat and text messages will be allowed to testify against the defendant, according to reports. The Kane County Chronicle reported ...

Gay News

Reports say Schock may be stepping out of closet
LGBTQ Nation reported that former Congressman Aaron Schock (R-Illinois)—who favored anti-gay legislation while in office—appears to be taking one step out of the closet. In a leaked chat conversation Queerty ...

Gay News

Puerto Rico governor to resign Aug. 2
Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rossello now plans to resign Aug. 2 after almost two weeks of protests following the leak of misogynistic and homophobic chats between him and some of his advisors, Politico reported. Addressing the ...

Gay News

Rally calls for Puerto Rico gov's resignation after anti-LGBTQ chat surfaces
In the wake of Puerto Rican Governor Ricardo Rossello's political allies' recent arrests on corruption and fraud charges, the Chicago Boricua Resistance and its allies rallied in front of Federal Plaza on July 16. Among the ...

Gay News

THEATER REVIEW GRINDR The Opera (An Unauthorized Parody)
Book, music and lyrics by: Erik Ransom At: The Buena, Pride Arts Center, 4147 N. Broadway. Tickets:; $20-40. Runs through: July 28 Looking for an easy way to chat with and meet other gay/bisexual men ...

Gay News

Rocco Steele discusses daddy image and product line
Last year, Instinct Magazine proclaimed popular adult performer and entrepreneur Rocco Steele to be "the daddy of all daddies." Washington, D.C.-based Steele said that "daddy" is a label he actually takes very seriously. "Guys who are ...

Gay News

DANCE Chicago academy's spring event celebrates Alvin Ailey's legacy
The high school hallway is quiet. There is nobody standing at the gray lockers, reading in a corner or chatting by the water fountain. The white walls are lined with old, black and white photographs of ...

Gay News

FASHION Local designer closes boutique to focus on customized items
By Vee L. Harrison - Anastasia Chatzka's boutique—once located on the corner of Damen and Augusta avenues, in Wicker Park—is now closed. The store officially closed Dec. 14 following a monthlong liquidation sale. Store owner ...


Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.








About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.