Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  IDENTITY

F.Y.I.: Ask the Chat Daddy
by Chat Daddy
2005-05-01

This article shared 2995 times since Sun May 1, 2005
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Where Is the Love?

I often stop and remind myself that there is no greater thing than love. Webster defines love as: A strong affection for another. I beg to differ.

I feel we have gotten away from the honest, true values of love. Everywhere you look we are being sold the concept that sex is all you need to get by. We are being fed sex on a continuous basis from advertising, music, videos, movies and fashion to food. Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, but we have lost ourselves in this 'Get it while we can' society.

In my past articles I have taught you how to deal with others and how to deal with matters of the heart. Now it's time to teach you that your love is truly your love, a real love. When was the last time you told yourself, I love myself? As weird as it seems, this is something we must do. This allows us to have freedom of and belief in ourselves. When was the last time you stopped and told someone that you loved them for no reason?

These are two examples and reasons why we should love more. Not a love bought with money, but a love given from the heart. One of my favorite quotes is 'I who has nothing but myself to give.' If you think about it, this is one simple yet powerful thing one can express to another. If we took away the material possessions and approached our relationships naked and uninhibited, could you imagine what type of chemistry we would generate? When a person gives unadulterated, genuine love, that's when you are on to something. Love is patient, kind, considerate, long-suffering, confident and free.

True intimacy isn't only about sex. Intimacy is being connected through shared contact in a variety of activities that's deep, moving and personal. I invite you to take the first step to love. In order to develop and bond with a mate, we must become more intimate with ourselves. The more you know about your needs and desires, the more honest you are about him or her. Learn to love more with no boundaries. I wish you Real Love and abundant blessings.

Now on to the mail bag ... .

Dear Chat Daddy:

I love reading your column ... . You are the man! I've got a problem I really need help with. I'm a 37-year-old brother dating a 25-year-old guy who is employed, smart, outgoing, giving and very friendly with all he meets. My best friend is also 37 years old, single, outgoing and has really great chemistry with my boyfriend. I'm starting to worry that he spends way too much time with us. My boyfriend loves for us all to hang out together ( movies, dinners, parties ) . How do I keep them separated without seeming possessive?

— Get A Man Of Your Own

Dear Get A Man Of Your Own:

You better stop playing with fire ... . You've got what every man wants—a good man. Talk about tricky. I think the Queen of Soul says it best ... 'Don't need nobody always sitting around me and my man.' Do you trust your man? That is the first question you need to ask yourself. Second question: Has your friend ever given you a reason not to trust him around men in general? It's really great when our friends get along with our mates. You and your mate need to spend more quality time together alone. A real relationship is between two people who love each other, not a threesome, unless that's the flavor of the relationship.

— Chat Daddy

Dear Chat Daddy:

I am in need of your help. I have weird sexual preoccupations. Chat Daddy, I love feet. Nothing turns me on more than feet. I love feet so much that I just got a job at Foot Locker just to be closer to more feet. I don't need intercourse as much as I like just playing with feet. Do I have a foot fetish or what, and how does it develop? Could this turn into a problem? Help me out.

— A Very Foot Forward Kind Of Guy

Dear A Very Foot Forward Brother:

You're a FREAK and you know it ... . No, Just kidding. Here's the naked truth: a fetish is an object or body part that a person must focus on to be sexually aroused. It can range from feet to underwear to leather. Usually a fetish takes root in childhood. A fetish is when you find something titillating. Most people feel uncomfortable or guilty about these feelings—you are now at the point where you are transferring your thoughts into action. You need to be careful. Most people may feel that their fetish tendencies are harmless, but I'm here to tell you that they may cause you trouble. If you can only become aroused by focusing on external objects, and not your partners, seek help my brother ... fast. You may want to see a sex therapist.

— Chat Daddy

Dear Chat Daddy:

I'm a 40-year-old male, in shape, outgoing, civic and socially involved in my community. I have been attending a very large church here in the city of Chicago. During my time at the church I met a gentleman who holds a very high position there. He's 52 years old, tall, handsome, has his own everything ( money, house, cars ) and has traveled. Everything a guy could want in a man. Here's the problem, Chat Daddy. When we first met we started off talking on the phone. Nice conversation ... we have a lot in common. One evening while visiting my house we became intimate. This was a big mistake. This man wants nothing but sex from me, which really bothers me because I want more than just that. I'm at a point now where I want to be loved and to give love. I want to cook dinner, travel, have a committed relationship and treat a man the way he wants to be treated. He has turned out to be one of the most immature men I've ever met. When we now speak, I suggest that we maybe do dinner or check out a movie. He quickly claims he is too tired or something, but before the conversation is over he wants to have sex. A really big nut in my book. It's to the point where when I go to church, I'm so turned off that I really don't enjoy the service because of him being there.

— Not Trying To Be The Preacher's Sex Pot

Dear Not Trying to Be The Preacher's Sex Pot:

What a mess! It's really sad to think you've found what you've thought to be a good man and he turned out to just want to get his freak on and you're not really feeling that. At some point in all our lives we get sick and tired of mindless sex. That's why so many people go celibate. It's a shame this man can't realize a good person when he sees one. You've got it going on ( job, car, home and community work ) ! You go boy, and you are still good in bed ( I'll be getting letters about you ) .

I applaud you for taking a stance on this issue. So many people will use you up and not care about your true feelings. I know you've heard this many times before, but a good, loving man will come your way.

Now, on the subject of you going to church; your relationship is with God and no one else, so go on to church and block out this man. Get your time in with God, because he is truly the one that will provide you with a good mate.

P. S. To Mr. High Power Church Man. Come on brother, you are to lead the flock, not play with them. You need to settle down and let your flesh calm down some before it gets you in trouble. I hope you are not sleeping around with a lot of people from this church, because loose lips will truly sink ships. OK Captain!

— Chat Daddy

Are you single, Tried of looking for love in all the wrong places? Please join me Sunday, May 29, 2005 as I host the Ultimate Dating Game. Come get hooked up for the summer ( looking for all single males and females ) . This event is hosted by The Men of the 'M' Experience, join Darrell Hill, Thayer Johnson, Charles Nelson, Sidney Thomas, Jermaine Young and myself in conjunction with Chicago Clubs, Promoters and their supporters for a Memorial Day Benefit & BBQ at Zentra, 923 W. Weed St. ( North Ave & Sheffield ) , 8 p.m. until Midnight, $10 All Night, 100% of profits are being donated to the WINDY CITY PRIDE 2005. For more information, please contact ( 773 ) 215-6835 or OTDLCHICAGO@aol.com .

Until next time ... LOVE IS ... The Choice is truly yours. — Chat Daddy.

Please feel free to contact me at talk2chatdaddy@aol.com .


This article shared 2995 times since Sun May 1, 2005
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email





Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

TELEVISION Parvesh Cheena connects to NBC
2020-11-10
Openly gay actor Parvesh Cheena is coping with the pandemic on NBC with a show called Connecting. This new ensemble comedic tale is told through video chats each week covering current topics such as mask wearing, ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2020-09-02
"I don't ever picture Dame Barbara Cartland doggie-style!"—Billy Masters explains that writers of fiction need not write solely from experience. This was part of a longer chat with writer Christopher Rice on Billy Masters LIVE! Are ...


Gay News

STREAMING THEATER REVIEW The Golden Girls: The Lost Episodes!
2020-07-08
Vol. 4, Lockdown! - Playwright: David Cerda At: Hell in a Handbag Productions, streaming online. Tickets: HandbagProductions.org/Stage773.com. Runs through: Aug. 15 As the long intermission drags on into its fifth month, home movies and backstage chat are no longer enough ...


Gay News

21st Ward holds own Pride event
2020-07-01
Chicago's 21st Ward—an area on the city's South Side that includes neighborhoods such as parts of Auburn Gresham, Washington Heights, Gresham, Chatham and Roseland—held its own Pride event June 27. Photos courtesy of Lisa Maxey ...


Gay News

COVID-19 pandemic focus of Latinx Pride virtual community chat
2020-06-28
The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic was the focus of the first in a series of Association of Latinx Motivating Action (ALMA) "Latinx Pride: Integrating Past & Present Lessons to Move Forward" community chats in partnership with Center ...


Gay News

WORLD Zambia pardon, fashion house, HIV+ mayor, Costa Rica marriage
2020-06-01
Zambia's president pardoned a gay couple sentenced to 15 years in prison in November under colonial-era sodomy laws in a case that caused a diplomatic conflict with the United States, Reuters reported. Japhet Chataba, 39, and ...


Gay News

Leather64TEN Presents Kurt Allen Outstanding Community Service Award 2020
2020-03-03
On Saturday, March 14, Leather64TEN will present the very first Kurt Allen Outstanding Community Service Award to Gerald "Daddy G" Cernak. The event will take place 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at Jackhammer Bar, 6406 N. Clark St. ...


Gay News

Reports: Teen to testify against Aurora church employee
2019-08-20
A minor alleging that an Aurora area church employee solicited nude photos from them via Snap Chat and text messages will be allowed to testify against the defendant, according to reports. The Kane County Chronicle reported ...


Gay News

Reports say Schock may be stepping out of closet
2019-08-16
LGBTQ Nation reported that former Congressman Aaron Schock (R-Illinois)—who favored anti-gay legislation while in office—appears to be taking one step out of the closet. In a leaked chat conversation Queerty ...


Gay News

Puerto Rico governor to resign Aug. 2
2019-07-25
Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rossello now plans to resign Aug. 2 after almost two weeks of protests following the leak of misogynistic and homophobic chats between him and some of his advisors, Politico reported. Addressing the ...


Gay News

Rally calls for Puerto Rico gov's resignation after anti-LGBTQ chat surfaces
2019-07-17
In the wake of Puerto Rican Governor Ricardo Rossello's political allies' recent arrests on corruption and fraud charges, the Chicago Boricua Resistance and its allies rallied in front of Federal Plaza on July 16. Among the ...


Gay News

THEATER REVIEW GRINDR The Opera (An Unauthorized Parody)
2019-07-07
Book, music and lyrics by: Erik Ransom At: The Buena, Pride Arts Center, 4147 N. Broadway. Tickets: pridefilmsandplays.com; $20-40. Runs through: July 28 Looking for an easy way to chat with and meet other gay/bisexual men ...


Gay News

Rocco Steele discusses daddy image and product line
2019-05-02
Last year, Instinct Magazine proclaimed popular adult performer and entrepreneur Rocco Steele to be "the daddy of all daddies." Washington, D.C.-based Steele said that "daddy" is a label he actually takes very seriously. "Guys who are ...


Gay News

DANCE Chicago academy's spring event celebrates Alvin Ailey's legacy
2019-04-24
The high school hallway is quiet. There is nobody standing at the gray lockers, reading in a corner or chatting by the water fountain. The white walls are lined with old, black and white photographs of ...


Gay News

FASHION Local designer closes boutique to focus on customized items
2018-12-26
By Vee L. Harrison - Anastasia Chatzka's boutique—once located on the corner of Damen and Augusta avenues, in Wicker Park—is now closed. The store officially closed Dec. 14 following a monthlong liquidation sale. Store owner ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 

 

 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.