Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-09-01
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  IDENTITY

F.Y.I.: Ask the Chat Daddy
by Chat Daddy
2005-05-01

This article shared 3127 times since Sun May 1, 2005
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Where Is the Love?

I often stop and remind myself that there is no greater thing than love. Webster defines love as: A strong affection for another. I beg to differ.

I feel we have gotten away from the honest, true values of love. Everywhere you look we are being sold the concept that sex is all you need to get by. We are being fed sex on a continuous basis from advertising, music, videos, movies and fashion to food. Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, but we have lost ourselves in this 'Get it while we can' society.

In my past articles I have taught you how to deal with others and how to deal with matters of the heart. Now it's time to teach you that your love is truly your love, a real love. When was the last time you told yourself, I love myself? As weird as it seems, this is something we must do. This allows us to have freedom of and belief in ourselves. When was the last time you stopped and told someone that you loved them for no reason?

These are two examples and reasons why we should love more. Not a love bought with money, but a love given from the heart. One of my favorite quotes is 'I who has nothing but myself to give.' If you think about it, this is one simple yet powerful thing one can express to another. If we took away the material possessions and approached our relationships naked and uninhibited, could you imagine what type of chemistry we would generate? When a person gives unadulterated, genuine love, that's when you are on to something. Love is patient, kind, considerate, long-suffering, confident and free.

True intimacy isn't only about sex. Intimacy is being connected through shared contact in a variety of activities that's deep, moving and personal. I invite you to take the first step to love. In order to develop and bond with a mate, we must become more intimate with ourselves. The more you know about your needs and desires, the more honest you are about him or her. Learn to love more with no boundaries. I wish you Real Love and abundant blessings.

Now on to the mail bag ... .

Dear Chat Daddy:

I love reading your column ... . You are the man! I've got a problem I really need help with. I'm a 37-year-old brother dating a 25-year-old guy who is employed, smart, outgoing, giving and very friendly with all he meets. My best friend is also 37 years old, single, outgoing and has really great chemistry with my boyfriend. I'm starting to worry that he spends way too much time with us. My boyfriend loves for us all to hang out together ( movies, dinners, parties ) . How do I keep them separated without seeming possessive?

— Get A Man Of Your Own

Dear Get A Man Of Your Own:

You better stop playing with fire ... . You've got what every man wants—a good man. Talk about tricky. I think the Queen of Soul says it best ... 'Don't need nobody always sitting around me and my man.' Do you trust your man? That is the first question you need to ask yourself. Second question: Has your friend ever given you a reason not to trust him around men in general? It's really great when our friends get along with our mates. You and your mate need to spend more quality time together alone. A real relationship is between two people who love each other, not a threesome, unless that's the flavor of the relationship.

— Chat Daddy

Dear Chat Daddy:

I am in need of your help. I have weird sexual preoccupations. Chat Daddy, I love feet. Nothing turns me on more than feet. I love feet so much that I just got a job at Foot Locker just to be closer to more feet. I don't need intercourse as much as I like just playing with feet. Do I have a foot fetish or what, and how does it develop? Could this turn into a problem? Help me out.

— A Very Foot Forward Kind Of Guy

Dear A Very Foot Forward Brother:

You're a FREAK and you know it ... . No, Just kidding. Here's the naked truth: a fetish is an object or body part that a person must focus on to be sexually aroused. It can range from feet to underwear to leather. Usually a fetish takes root in childhood. A fetish is when you find something titillating. Most people feel uncomfortable or guilty about these feelings—you are now at the point where you are transferring your thoughts into action. You need to be careful. Most people may feel that their fetish tendencies are harmless, but I'm here to tell you that they may cause you trouble. If you can only become aroused by focusing on external objects, and not your partners, seek help my brother ... fast. You may want to see a sex therapist.

— Chat Daddy

Dear Chat Daddy:

I'm a 40-year-old male, in shape, outgoing, civic and socially involved in my community. I have been attending a very large church here in the city of Chicago. During my time at the church I met a gentleman who holds a very high position there. He's 52 years old, tall, handsome, has his own everything ( money, house, cars ) and has traveled. Everything a guy could want in a man. Here's the problem, Chat Daddy. When we first met we started off talking on the phone. Nice conversation ... we have a lot in common. One evening while visiting my house we became intimate. This was a big mistake. This man wants nothing but sex from me, which really bothers me because I want more than just that. I'm at a point now where I want to be loved and to give love. I want to cook dinner, travel, have a committed relationship and treat a man the way he wants to be treated. He has turned out to be one of the most immature men I've ever met. When we now speak, I suggest that we maybe do dinner or check out a movie. He quickly claims he is too tired or something, but before the conversation is over he wants to have sex. A really big nut in my book. It's to the point where when I go to church, I'm so turned off that I really don't enjoy the service because of him being there.

— Not Trying To Be The Preacher's Sex Pot

Dear Not Trying to Be The Preacher's Sex Pot:

What a mess! It's really sad to think you've found what you've thought to be a good man and he turned out to just want to get his freak on and you're not really feeling that. At some point in all our lives we get sick and tired of mindless sex. That's why so many people go celibate. It's a shame this man can't realize a good person when he sees one. You've got it going on ( job, car, home and community work ) ! You go boy, and you are still good in bed ( I'll be getting letters about you ) .

I applaud you for taking a stance on this issue. So many people will use you up and not care about your true feelings. I know you've heard this many times before, but a good, loving man will come your way.

Now, on the subject of you going to church; your relationship is with God and no one else, so go on to church and block out this man. Get your time in with God, because he is truly the one that will provide you with a good mate.

P. S. To Mr. High Power Church Man. Come on brother, you are to lead the flock, not play with them. You need to settle down and let your flesh calm down some before it gets you in trouble. I hope you are not sleeping around with a lot of people from this church, because loose lips will truly sink ships. OK Captain!

— Chat Daddy

Are you single, Tried of looking for love in all the wrong places? Please join me Sunday, May 29, 2005 as I host the Ultimate Dating Game. Come get hooked up for the summer ( looking for all single males and females ) . This event is hosted by The Men of the 'M' Experience, join Darrell Hill, Thayer Johnson, Charles Nelson, Sidney Thomas, Jermaine Young and myself in conjunction with Chicago Clubs, Promoters and their supporters for a Memorial Day Benefit & BBQ at Zentra, 923 W. Weed St. ( North Ave & Sheffield ) , 8 p.m. until Midnight, $10 All Night, 100% of profits are being donated to the WINDY CITY PRIDE 2005. For more information, please contact ( 773 ) 215-6835 or OTDLCHICAGO@aol.com .

Until next time ... LOVE IS ... The Choice is truly yours. — Chat Daddy.

Please feel free to contact me at talk2chatdaddy@aol.com .


This article shared 3127 times since Sun May 1, 2005
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

'Andersonville Homecoming' Sept. 24-26; line-up, vendors, safety protocols announced
2021-09-15
--From a press release - CHICAGO (Sept. 15, 2021) — The Andersonville Chamber of Commerce (ACC) is pleased to announce the full entertainment line-up and vendors for Andersonville Homecoming--a three-night, two-day outdoor festival featuring ...


Gay News

LETTER TO THE EDITOR Opinion: The parade must go on
2021-09-02
I am responding to the letter from Tim Frye, the current 2021 coordinator of Chicago's Pride Parade, about the cancellation of the event that was scheduled for Oct. 3. I agree that this decision takes in ...


Gay News

Next OUTspoken show Sept. 7
2021-08-24
An OUTspoken Storytelling Night taking place Tuesday, Sept. 7, will offer tales told by six people who will relate their stories of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective. The entertainment will start at 7 p.m. ...


Gay News

Taste of River North cancelled
2021-07-29
On July 29, the River North Residents Association, along with theMART and Duff Entertainment, announced the cancellation of the 2021 edition of Taste of River North. The event was slated to take place Aug. 20-21 at ...


Gay News

OUTspoken storytelling to host six takes from LGBTQ+ perspective
2021-07-26
--From a press release - The month of August is hot - but OUTspoken at the Sidetrack will be even hotter on Aug. 3 when six storytellers will tell tales of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective! The program will start at 7:00 pm at ...


Gay News

LGBTQIA+ tavern to open in Uptown this fall
2021-07-14
2Bears Tavern Group—which owns and operates Andersonville's The SoFo Tap and Meeting House Tavern as well as Rogers Park's Jackhammer—is opening 2Bears Tavern Uptown in the former Nick's on Wilson space at 1140 W. Wilson Ave. ...


Gay News

LETTER: Pride, a time for hope
2021-06-12
Pride is so much more than a parade, a march or even a demonstration for the LGBTQAI community. In other words, this is an opportunity for us to celebrate our diversity among our various communities, and ...


Gay News

LETTER A matter of race
2021-05-20
I applaud Mayor Lori Lightfoot's courageous statement on only giving one-on-one interviews to journalists of color. She obviously wants to see a public dialogue on this matter. White privilege is a topic we must look at ...


Gay News

Pride Parade coordinator provides latest on the 'likely scenario' for event
2021-05-08
Tim Frye, the coordinator of the 2021 Pride Parade, told Windy City Times that the assessment of this year's event has not changed over the last few weeks. The official statement/assessment at this point is: "We ...


Gay News

Hate mail threatening Obamas, Biden, Harris sent to DuSable
2021-04-28
The Secret Service is investigating six threatening letters sent to the DuSable Museum of African American History that mention President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris and the Obama family, among others, The Chicago Tribune reported. ...


Gay News

LETTER The Vatican's words and actions do not echo love
2021-03-18
The LGBTQA community is responding with shock, anger and frustration at the Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith statement concerning same-sex unions. Many in our community can't understand why Pope Francis would allow such a ...


Gay News

LETTER Federal anti-discrimination protection? Inevitable
2021-02-06
=The astute can predict the future—with more than a modicum of confidence—by examining history. Nate Silver did this last year at fivethirtyeight.com, as did Vegas oddsmakers, in predicting the victory of President Joe Biden over der ...


Gay News

Letter: Greed overrides common sense
2021-01-25
Jeffrey Sanker, founder of the White Party concept decades ago, is now at the center of brewing online civil war in the gay community. It was reported by some online LGBTQ media news outlets such as ...


Gay News

OUTspoken Storytelling to host tales from LGBTQ perspectives Nov. 10
2020-11-01
--From a press release - Another exciting OUTspoken Storytelling Night will offer the perspective of four Chicagoans telling life's stories from their LGBTQ+ viewpoint or that of their close friends and relatives, Tuesday, Nov. 10, starting at 7 p.m. on Zoom. ...


Gay News

Arts in the Dark Halloween Parade, this year a drive-through
2020-10-26
--From a Chicago Park District press release - CHICAGO: LUMA8, in collaboration with the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE), the Chicago Park District and Presenting Sponsor, the Blommer Chocolate Company, is pleased to announce Arts in the Dark - an UPSIDE ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 

Sponsor


Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.