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  NIGHTSPOTS

FROM THE BOOTH Campus Players, San Diego Boy Productions
JUDGING A PORN BY ITS COVER
by Randy Pubert & Dick Groeper
2011-08-31

This article shared 3392 times since Wed Aug 31, 2011
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Pubert: It's our back-to-school issue.

Groeper: I can't believe the summer is over.

P: Time to study up on porn.

G: These players look very amateur on the cover.

P: I think that's the point.

A football player runs track to practice while another stretches.

G: This cheesy intro music sounds like an after-school special!

P: Blondie is helping the other one stretch out his hamstrings.

G: Wow, that was easy. He already got him to go home with him.

P: He was too warm in those boxer briefs and stripped them off.

G: Aww, they are taking a shower together to cool down.

P: The dark-haired Tony has manscaping stubble.

G: The dialogue is bad: "You like that?"

P: I would scream, "No, I don't like Chatty Cathys in the bedroom!"

G: Well, some people do.

P: The dialogue is getting worse: "You have such a beautiful body."

G: I can't imagine a jock saying that to me.

P: The blonde Marcus has some freshman flab on him.

G: Too much late night studying and eating potato chips.

P: Looks like his degree is in KY…jelly that is.

G: Blonde boy didn't get enough and is going for the cameraman.

P: That's a twist.

G: A faceless cameraman, this is like the headless profiles on Grindr.

P: Extreme close-ups and bad lighting.

G: That's what happens when the camera operator gets distracted.

P: Talk about The Help.

G: I can see the porn parody coming out about the movie now.

P: What is with the bad rock music and pictures of the cast in between scenes?

Two buds enter an outdoor pool together.

G: There's that strange stubble again.

P: I picture an intern with a lady shaver working on the models beforehand.

G: Do you hear the wind chimes?

P: Yes, and what sounds like a portable radio.

G: They are taking a cold shower together.

P: That's never a turn on.

G: Are those Christmas lights on the awning?

P: Isn't it sad when you can't tell if they are from last year or hung early?

G: They might be the only thing "hung" in this video.

P: It's a little man on campus. The cold water is causing shrinkage.

G: They're using the float as padding to fuck by the pool.

Three college students play strip poker.

P: The boys are watching straight porn and leafing through nudie magazines.

G: And losing their clothes fast.

P: One of them is counting on his fingers.

G: I think they need to be studying, not stripping.

P: One kid keeps looking at the camera.

G: My college days were not like this.

P: This just a masturbating scene.

Chad is interested in Tiger's tattoo on top of his head so they hook up.

G: Their d├ęcor is straight out of the dorm.

P: Tiger's entire back is covered with a dragon.

G: That is one porn star you couldn't pay me to sleep with.

P: They are awkward together.

G: I just figured out the tattoo on top of his head is a tiger!

P: Makes sense doesn't it, dummy?

G: I am not a fan of amateur porn.

P: Yeah, not with this college science project: a bad experiment.

G: They gave it the ol' college try.

Pubert: Finger down the throat.

Groeper: Finger down the throat.

To get lost on Campus, visit www.sdboyproductions.com .


This article shared 3392 times since Wed Aug 31, 2011
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