Describing herself as "comedy's loveable Queen of Mean," Lisa Lampanelli has one of the most successful stand-up shows in the world where the politically incorrect comic pokes fun at minority groups.
Her big break came at the Friars' Club roasting Chevy Chase in 2002. Since then she has skewered celebrities such as William Shatner, Pamela Anderson, Flavor Flav and Donald Trump. Lampanelli raised more than $100,000 for the Gay Men's Health Crisis on Trump's show making it to the final four and was asked to return for an appearance on the All-Star Celebrity Apprentice.
She donated to the same charity again with her own money, totaling $50,000, after the Westboro Baptist Church protested her gig.
Her comedy special Dirty Girl, which aired on Comedy Central, reached number four on the charts and was nominated for a Grammy.
She is currently working on a Broadway show, Skinny Bitch: NOT a Stand-up Comedy Show, with Tony winner John Rando for 2014.
After talking to the lady with the potty mouth for Windy City Times in the past it was good to find out what's new on her plate this holiday season.
Windy City Times: Hello, Lisa. I haven't talked to you in a long time.
Lisa Lampanelli: I know, riiight? I was just so excited to talk to a gay newspaper. I can't talk to anyone else right before Thanksgiving except for the gays!
WCT: You are coming out to the Horseshoe Casino here, which is close by.
Lisa Lampanelli: Yes, I was there a couple of years ago.
WCT: Are you a gambler?
Lisa Lampanelli: No. Once and a while I will play slots if I am in a mood to be around the public.
WCT: Because you might get mobbed?
Lisa Lampanelli: No, not that I would get mobbed, I just don't like to lose in front of anybody!
WCT: [Laughs] Who does? I play to win!
Lisa Lampanelli: Hellooo.
WCT: This is a new show with new material since you were there last?
Lisa Lampanelli: Since I have came out there I have done Celebrity Apprentice, I lost 107 pounds and I got married. There is a lot that has been going on. I always vent about my life so I might as well do all new stuff.
WCT: Your hair is different, too.
Lisa Lampanelli: Oh, my god—I forgot about my new hairdo, yes.
WCT: It is a little Miley-ish.
Lisa Lampanelli: It is. You are a homo so you might know her. Do you know who Emeli Sande is?
WCT: Yes, I interviewed her in the past.
Lisa Lampanelli: That is her hair. People called me "an old-ass Miley Cyrus." I don't give a shit; it takes me 65 minutes to fix up in the morning and that is what counts!
WCT: People should know who Emeli is as much as Miley because she is so talented.
Lisa Lampanelli: She is fierce, right?
WCT: What inspired the hair change?
Lisa Lampanelli: I will tell you the whole truth. I wanted a short haircut because I am over the extensions and the whole thing. My husband loves long hair. Two weeks ago I had a massive fight with him and called my hairdresser and said, "I am coming in, bitch!"
Get this, though: She cut it off and it was all short. I went home and he loved it. I can't even piss people off anymore!
WCT: Do you have an opener for your show?
Lisa Lampanelli: I have a guy that does about 20 minutes but I named him "Time Killer" because nobody really cares.
WCT: People always walk in late, too.
Lisa Lampanelli: Actually you know I have this gay kid that I found in acting class that I told was crazy if he didn't try stand-up. He is a real natural and probably the gayest person I have ever met and I have met a lot of you people! He is hysterical along with my usual opener.
WCT: I will have to arrive early to see him perform.
Lisa Lampanelli: You have to.
WCT: I saw on Twitter that you saw Dallas Buyers Club.
Lisa Lampanelli: I loved it. Since I lost the weight people ask me if I am sick. I say, "No, you retard. I am a size six. That is not exactly tiny!"
Did this Matthew McConaughey commit or what? I got my stomach cut out so I could look decent and save my life by losing weight. He had to do it for his career.
WCT: Finally, he is not playing himself in a role.
Lisa Lampanelli: I think this is really good. It was time for him to do something different. I am just so proud of him. He took a chance with this role. Can you imagine how happy he was when he got to binge-eat again after that was done filming?
WCT: I heard Jared Leto lost the weight so fast that they were worried he might die for that part.
Lisa Lampanelli: He was phenomenal, too! That is the thing too, I got super-bored with stand-up years ago and I decided to do this Broadway show next year. I think you have to change things up a little and take on a challenge.
WCT: So talk about this project.
Lisa Lampanelli: It is super-personal. It will either be called Skinny Bitch or Confessions of a Fat Chick, we're not sure which one. I didn't want to do it until I had something real to say. It is real confessions about my life being addicted to food and men. It is funny but people learn something about me in the long run. It was the biggest challenge I have ever had.
WCT: We have talked about this show before so I am ready for it to come out.
Lisa Lampanelli: Me, too. I had a meeting with the producers and told them to book the theater for next year. We are ready!
WCT: Did you see Mike Tyson's one-man show?
Lisa Lampanelli: No, I didn't. I just taped it on the DVR. I bet I have better diction than he does! My producer is the producer of that one too. I am curious to see what it is like. I am sure he has a lot to say and talk about the ghosts that he had.
I was inspired for mine by Carrie Fisher and, especially, Billy Crystal, who did his.
WCT: Good inspirations. I saw hers, of course.
Lisa Lampanelli: She is a crazy bitch. She grabbed my tit at the Logo Awards! Now that is committing...
WCT: I hit it off with her mom, Debbie Reynolds.
Lisa Lampanelli: What a sweetheart. I just saw her on a rerun when she played Grace's mom on Will & Grace, hilarrr!
WCT: Are you wanting to do more acting?
Lisa Lampanelli: Yes, I took the summer conservatory at Yale. I had never responded to acting teachers before but for some reason, maybe it was the total immersion, I really responded to it. It was intense but something clicked. I really wanted to learn and do it this way. I talked to the director of my Broadway show and said after it's done I want to do plays. I like the serious acting and drama. I will always do stand-up but it is also good to have a paid hobby, too.
Who knows? I might just be the world's oldest Blanche is Streetcar Named Desire!
WCT: Do you feel like you were robbed on Celebrity Apprentice?
Lisa Lampanelli: No. What they didn't show was that I left really happily. I was really happy with the editing and how it turned out. They portrayed me as me. They didn't show anything wrong but I remember in the boardroom at the end when I was fired I started clapping. I asked if I could come back and help somebody win. I think they showed a little of that.
It is like this week, when Bill Engvall got voted off Dancing with the Stars and he didn't think he had another dance left in him. I felt the same way with the Apprentice. I had to go home. It was tiring but I loved doing it. I liked helping Arsenio win. Although I was the smartest bitch on the whole show I felt like I had my time.
WCT: Aubrey O' Day came to our big gay street festival last year.
Lisa Lampanelli: She is really smart. That girl is brilliant.
WCT: Debbie Gibson told me to tell you "hi" when I talked to her two days ago.
Lisa Lampanelli: She is so cute! The only person that I am still in contact with regularly is Clay. We happen to have the same schedules when he is in New York sometimes. Penn Jillette is my friend of course. Aubrey and Debbie are chicks that I always think fondly of. They were smart, funny, and cool. That is hard to find especially on the Apprentice.
WCT: Have you heard about Dee Snider's Rock & Roll Christmas Tale? It is coming to Chicago next year.
Lisa Lampanelli: Oh, yes. As a matter of fact Dee emailed me about it today. He wants me to get him into the Friars' Club. Let's put it this way, with the Friars' Club Dee will be considered a young member!
WCT: Giuliana Rancic is singing "Silent Night" with him.
Lisa Lampanelli: That is hysterical! He's one of a kind and a gentleman. He wouldn't hurt a person in the world. That is the thing with the men who were on the Apprentice, except for that retard Lou Ferrigno, they were all mad cool!
WCT: Is there anyone that you would want to roast but haven't yet?
Lisa Lampanelli: Everyone thinks with roasts that you want to do someone you don't like but it is really an honor. I roast the people I love. I think the biggest hero I have is Don Rickles. That is the guy you would want to do a roast for and with—unfortunately, he may be in the ground before that happens!
Look for Lisa Lampanelli at The Venue at Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Ind., on Saturday, Dec. 7, at 8p.m. Tickets and info can be found at www.horseshoehammond.com .
