THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

DVD distributor: New Yorker Video.

Produced by HBO, this heartbreaking, yet uplifting film had a brief theatrical run and won an Oscar for Best Documentary Feature, 1989. It was the second statue awarded to co-director Rob Epstein, who previously made film history when he co-directed The Times of Harvey Milk in 1984.

As Bobby McFerrin's haunting, acapella score graces the soundtrack, six stories unfold. As they each design a quilt for a loved one lost to AIDS, the storytellers let us know who it was who died, how they lived and what they meant to each other.

The bereaved include Sara Lewinstein, a lesbian and best friend to Dr. Tom Waddel, the founder of Gay Games. Always wanting to be parents, the two had a child together, yet remained unwavering in their gay identities. Lewinstein faced the loss of her closest friend, while her daughter was losing a loving Dad.

Two gay couples are separated by HIV related death. Vito Russo, author of the groundbreaking book The Celluloid Closet, tells us who his lover Jeffrey was.

Most heartbreaking is the tale of David Campbell and Tracy Torrey. When viewers meet Torrey, Campbell has already died. Torrey is lying in bed, emaciated, preparing for his own death. Torrey courageously musters up the strength not only to talk to the camera, but to make a quilt for Campbell. He finishes the quilt. When we see Campbell's quilt, Torrey's quilt is nearby.

But it's not all gay white men. Suzi and David Mandell speak of their late son David Jr., a hemophiliac who contracted HIV through tainted blood products, dying at age 11. As her eyes well up with tears, Suzi speaks of her horrifying dilemma: does she risk exposing her son to the virus or let him bleed to death?

Then there's Sallie Perryman, an African-American woman. A devout Christian, she contracted the virus from her late husband Robert, an IV drug user. As she stitches Robert's quilt, she speaks of her quiet acceptance of God's will. She blames nor judges no one.

Six stories are shared. Then we see the quilt on display in Washington, D.C. As hundreds and hundreds of panels are laid out, the magnitude of the devastation sinks in.

Like few films can, Common Threads: Stories From the Quilt, underscores the strength of the human spirit.

Tongues Untied ( 1989 )

Director: Marlon Riggs.

55 minutes.

DVD Distributor: Strand Releasing.

Marlon Riggs wasn't afraid to use his tongue. The late, gay, African-American filmmaker and teacher was among the first person to publicly state what many already knew: that the gay male community wasn't quite the inclusive, welcoming safe haven that it claims to be. Stories that are shared include being denied entry to a gay bar due to race.

Presented as a series of avante-garde performance pieces, Tongues Untied illustrates the loneliness and isolation of the Black gay male.

As Eddie Murphy gleefully tells one "fag" joke after another, we see the unspoken pain this causes in the face of a Black gay man.

When two gay Black men pass each other on the street, they avoid looking at each other.

Then, as gay characters begin appearing in mainstream films and television shows, gay African-Americans are still enduring drag images of Aunt Jemimah.

And when AIDS rears its ugly head, it does not give the Black gay community a pass.

Ironically, and tragically, Riggs, one of the few Black filmmakers to shine a light on what it meant to be a gay Black man in the twentieth century, had his own tongue tied by HIV. He passed away in 1994 at age 37. Strand Releasing's DVD of Tongues Untied includes a 1991 interview with Riggs.

Sex Is ( 1993 )

Director: Marc Huestis.

83 minutes.

DVD distributor: Water Bearer Films.

You'd never expect to laugh out loud as a film that deals with HIV begins, but that's exactly what happens in Marc Huestis's fanciful musing on the nature of gay male sexuality. As this award-winning documentary opens, the filmmaker shares a video clip of the late Sen. Jesse Helms ( 1921-2008 ) . The virulently homophobic five-termer is publicly speaking out against the National Endowment For the Arts, who, in fact, helped fund Sex Is. "How can you engage in sadomasochism ( a word the senator can barely pronounce ) homo-eroticism, or individuals engage in you-know-what, without it being obscene?" Huestis dedicates his film to Helms.

For the next 80 minutes, a diverse group of gay men discuss how they discovered not only their sexuality, but of their first experiences with masturbation, and with other guys. The language is graphic, and includes quick cutaways to a variety of gay porn films: grainy black-and-white loops from the early 1960s, and the more polished, shot-on-video productions we're accustomed to today. This is an adult film, though it's hardly pornographic.

What's most admirable about Sex Is is that the filmmaker didn't pay lip service to diversity. The men are older, younger, hunky, plain, cute, in drag, Black, Asian, white and Latin. They include writers, college students, a cross-dressing prostitute, a gay porn star, a chubby bald couple, and a minister in his 70s.

Each has a story to tell. We hear of their first awkward encounters, experimenting with different kinds of sexuality, and of finding love.

There are controversies in abundance: as with the gay Black man who likes to be whipped, a fetish he refuses to apologize for, regardless of what happened in Black history. Others speak of being sexually active at very early ages. "The kid wore me out," recalls a middle-aged man. He had overheard an older man speaking of their time together—he was all of 13 years old when this occurred.

They all speak of how sex affects them emotionally. Those who are single share their desire for true love.

And then ... AIDS. Every one of them was impacted by the plague. Some speak of burying longtime partners. All of them tell us how they had to redefine they're sexuality as they made the difficult segue into safer sex. It was not an easy journey to make. Several of them retreated into the dark, fearful of getting or spreading the virus. Slowly, they each stepped back into the light, and learned that the scourge of HIV didn't have to stop them from enjoying their pleasures.

At times funny, at times embarrassingly personal and intimate, sometimes heartbreaking, Sex Is covers just about every aspect of a topic that, one way or another, affects every single person who ever lived.

A Finished Life: The Goodbye and No Regrets Tour ( 2008 )

Directors: Michelle Boyaner, Barbara Green.

81 minutes.

DVD distributor: First Run Features.

See www.afinishedlife.com .

You've never seen a film like this, and likely never will again. A Finished Life chronicles the final six months in the life of Gregg Gour, a 48-year-old man with AIDS. His partner has long since passed away from the disease. Gregg has lived with the virus for 24 years. As the decades passed, the medications he took to keep himself alive were making him sicker than the virus itself. Told by his doctor that he'll live six months without his meds, Gregg quits his job, closes his house, and, with his dog Cody at his side, embarks on a cross-country road trip to say goodbye to family and friends. He's no longer on medication and will go on for as long as he can.

Gour allowed the filmmakers to follow him on this journey. The people closest to him agreed to be filmed along with him. We see Gour's last stop at his sister's home in the Midwest, where he leaves Cody. The confused dog stares at his departing master, while Greg fights tears behind the wheel of his SUV. But at least Cody will be in a safe, loving home.

There are farewells to old friends, former boyfriends, and most heartbreakingly, the long, final goodbye between Gour and his Mom, who loves him dearly and doesn't fully understand his decision.

Through the tears, Gour's sense of humor remains intact. This profoundly sad journey is also at times quite funny and uplifting.

Gregg Gour was a man of great courage. He allowed the cameras to follow him right up to his final hour, though thankfully, we don't see the moment when he takes his own life. HIV-related illnesses had been closing in on him for weeks.

A Finished Life is a stunning portrait of spending one's time on this Earth with dignity, and of knowing when it's time to go.