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  NIGHTSPOTS

Dateland
2006-12-20

This article shared 2989 times since Wed Dec 20, 2006
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Also in this issue: With You in 4/4, Pretzel Logic, World Wide Weird, From the Booth My friend Greg and I have spent the entire morning recasting I, Claudius with people we work with. This is a really fun exercise and a great way to waste time at the office. Our favorite movie to recast is All About Eve. Greg always, always ( ! ) , casts himself as the acid-tongued ( and very gay ) theater critic Addison DeWitt. And I'm usually stuck in the role of the solid, sensible Karen, the long-suffering friend of the great Margo Channing.

The reason I bring this up is that it's a clever way to insult people you don't like. And, if they're not movie fans, they have no idea you are ridiculing them. For example, we refer to a dreadful, perpetually pregnant woman we work with as Rosemary Woodhouse, the mother of the demon baby in Rosemary's Baby. We refer to our arch-enemy at the office, a woman with an unfortunate resemblance to a young Eleanor Roosevelt, as 'little Miss Evil,' which is what Margo Channing calls the scheming Eve Harrington in All About Eve.

We've created a lot of fun ways to get through the dreary work-a-day world, and I've decided to share one of our favorites with my readers because I'm currently brain-dead and can't think of one lesbian-related topic to address this week. This game is called 'Either/Or,' and it's only objective is to spark hours of meaningless conversation about such ridiculous topics as whether it's better to be a morning person or an evening person or whether you prefer Bette Midler over Barbra Streisand. You can make up your own categories, but here are some of our favorites ( I've put my choices in parentheses after each category ) :

• morning or evening ( morning )

• Bette or Barbra ( Bette )

• dogs or cats ( dogs )

• Truman Capote or Gore Vidal ( Capote )

• East Coast or West Coast ( East Coast )

• water or desert ( water )

• Diane Sawyer or Katie Couric ( Oh, come on! No contest. Diane! )

• Blondes or brunettes ( refer to answer above )

• Cole Porter or Irving Berlin ( Cole Porter )

• Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett ( Sinatra )

• really smart or really sexy ( really smart )

•The Godfather I or The Godfather II ( Godfather I )

• Elizabeth Taylor or Marilyn Monroe ( Elizabeth Taylor )

• potatoes or rice ( rice )

• Mary Richards or Rhoda ( Mary )

• showtunes or opera ( showtunes-duh! )

• massage or facial ( facial )

• summer or winter ( winter )

• fiction or non-fiction ( fiction )

• angry, vengeful God or loving, forgiving God ( angry God )

• Dorothy Parker or Edna St. Vincent Millay ( Dorothy Parker )

• John Stewart or Stephen Colbert ( Colbert by a nose )

• white sauce or red sauce ( red sauce )

• Cubs or Sox ( who cares )

• Beatles or the Rolling Stones ( Stones )

• The British or the French ( Germans )

• root canal or colonoscopy ( root canal )

• Richard Nixon or George W. Bush ( Nixon )

• primary colors or pastels ( primary )

• friend or lover ( friend )

• David Mamet or Edward Albee ( Albee )

• city or country ( country )

• drunk or sober ( depends on the time of day )

• nurturing or demanding ( demanding )

• email or phone ( email )

• Maggie Smith or Helen Mirren ( love 'em both )

• impressionism or expressionism ( impressionism )

• glasses or contacts ( glasses )

• The Algonquin or The Royalton ( The Algonquin )

• Queen Elizabeth or Princess Diana ( Queen Elizabeth )

• breast or thigh ( breast... breast is always my answer no matter what the other choice is )

• Christmas or Easter ( Easter )

• Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly ( Fred Astaire )

• tulips or roses ( tulips )

• plastic surgery or wrinkles ( wrinkles )

• authority or anarchy ( authority )

• singing or dancing ( singing )

• young, slim Catherine Deneuve or aging, fat Catherine Deneuve ( aging, fat Deneuve )

You got something to say to me? Contact me through my web site: www.jenniferparello.com


This article shared 2989 times since Wed Dec 20, 2006
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