THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

The time has come, my fellow Americans, to lay down our arms and come together by taking an even, fair and balanced approach to these simple songs of summer of 2016.

What's been said about Fergie's "M.I.L.F $"( Mothers I'd Like To Follow...Money ): "Fergie's stuck in 2006 and in a post-Iggy world, is her white lady rap needed?". Yes. Much like Nicki Minaj, being the only Top-40 female rapper standing, there's more than enough room for Fergie and Iggy. Especially since one of them actually can sing as well and does so way too far into the track. I'll admit, "M.I.L.F $" is a dead retread of songs of 2006's "The Duchess," but since her new LP is called Double Duchess, we'll accept it. When one comes back from a long break, one wants to be reminded of what one missed. So, this single should be considered a sequel, of sorts, before she ( hopefully ) hits us with a less Will.I.Am-y collection of tracks. Plus, the video and her body are just sickeningly hot, though points taken off for thinking it's still okay to say "on fleek."

What's been said about Britney Spears' "Make Me ( Oooh )" ( feat G-Eazy ): "Where's my Britney club banger?". Yes, like Janet Jackson before her, Brit Brit is known for smacking us up out the box with a killer dance/pop hit for her first singles. Well, since "Work Bitch" didn't light her last album, Britney Jean, on fire, she's shaking it up for the new album, #B9. Working with chilled out hip-hop sensation G-Eazy, the original B takes us to the bedroom. It's a shock to hear the first few notes of a Britney track that don't make you want to put on heals and stomp, but give this one a chance. Feeling yourself on the dance floor doesn't have to be so obvious. Recent hits by Ariana Grande, Bieber, Beyonce and Tove Lo prove you don't need the 4/4 beats. Sometimes you can just move, move, move ( see "Make Me" ) slower, but just as sexy.

What's been said about Katy Perry's "Rise": "Um, it was called 'Roar'". Yes, I'll admit this sounds thematically like Katy's 2013 single "Roar" with a touch of "Dark Horse," but what do you want from the theme song to NBC's coverage of the Rio Olympics? Now, I've never been the biggest Katy supporter, so this comes from a neutral ( at best ) place, but this track is ten times more earnest than "Roar" or any of the rip off tracks Rachel Platten spewed forth last year. "Rise" is exactly what we need from Ms. Perry right now: A simple, honest ballad of hope sung simply, produced well and ready in conjunction with the Olympics to get your hearts out of the gutter that 2016 has been so far. So get into it. It's time to "Rise."

Moose the DJ brings you his DILF$, Saturday, August 6 at The SoFo Tap.