Dan Savage is an advice columnist, author and newspaper editor. His column, Savage Love has been read by the LGBT community for years. The highly opinionated writer spoke to Windy City Times about his power from the pen.
Windy City Times: Hi, Dan. I have been reading your column for years. You were born in Chicago?
Dan Savage: Yes, in Rogers Park.
WCT: That's right where I live! Your goal was not to be a writer, correct?
DS: No, I studied theater in Chicago. I was writing this goofy sex column on the side and then it became my life.
WCT: Similar to my life. You have a podcast, too?
DS: Yes, it's right up there in the top 10 podcasts in the world right now. It is kind of crazy the way that it has taken off.
WCT: How did you become connected with ICAH [ the Illinois Caucus for Adolescent Health ] ? [ Editor's note: Savage is appearing at an ICAH event June 15. ]
DS: They approached me. I write a lot about teen sexuality and empowering teens. I write about birth control and combating the idiocy of abstinence education. That neatly lines up with what they do. They feel like I reinforce what they do. Teenagers are attracted to my column because it is not preachy.
WCT: I heard that you want to be the gay Ann Landers, I want to be the gay Barbara Walters! What advice do you have for me or other people as writers?
DS: I don't often get asked questions that I haven't been asked a million times like that one so you are on the right track. Well, first of all, don't suck. Don't be bad at it. You have to rely on the opinions of others. Nothing makes you a writer like doing it. It has been interesting for me to watch writing and the newspaper businesses turn into fringe theater.
Journalism is like acting and directing. You may have to do it for free for a long time before anyone will pay you. You can't sit around waiting for permission to do it. I hire people to write for The Stranger in Seattle and we look for people who are writing and blogging, not waiting for someone to hand them a gig. That would be my advice to carve out your own space. If no one is publishing you then you can publish yourself.
WCT: Have you ever written anything that you have regretted?
DS: Oh, sure. There have been things that I have written that I thought I should have been more politic about but part of my persona is being a bull in a china shop and saying things in an asshole-y way. That is the role that I play. Like my hero Ann Landers, I will admit when I am wrong.
WCT: It is sometimes hard to get people to write in as an advice columnist. Have you ever written your own letters?
DS: I had that problem when I first started because no one could send advice letters to a column that they didn't know existed. For the first four weeks all the letters were "fake." Those letters were written by people on the staff at The Stranger. Then the letters started coming in and I never looked back. I find it funny when people accuse me writing the letters as if I wanted to do that much work, too! [ Laughs ]
WCT: That makes sense.
DS: My column is only so long and I have to cut the letters way down. The part that convinces me and the reader that it is truthful gets lost sometimes. Sometimes the letters can seem writerly because I am editing and condensing them. Why would I bother writing them? I get so much fucking mail!
WCT: It is all e-mail now?
DS: It is all e-mail. I don't take letters in envelopes anymore.
WCT: Have you ever been sent anything that was crazy?
DS: Yeah, all the time. People used to write and me say they were too embarrassed to go to the doctor. They would have a sore on their genitals or on some part. I would remind people that I am not a doctor. Even if I knew what it was, I can't send a prescription in a column. I get digital photographs enclosed with the e-mails now.
WCT: Is there one question that sticks it out in your mind that was the craziest question ever?
DS: A long time ago a guy wrote me that was having an incestuous affair with his mother and wanted to start an incest pride movement. He wanted my help getting it off the ground. I had trouble with that one. There are so many head-slappers.
WCT: Is there anything that you want to say to set the record straight about how people view you?
DS: I am not biphobic or transphobic. One my best friends is trans. People accuse me of being biphobic when all I am doing is articulating that a lot of bisexuality has certain issues and problems. Many people did identify as bisexual when they were coming out and it was a lie. That is just true. It is not crazy when you meet a bi person to wonder if they are really bi. It isn't disrespectful. It is rational. Many bi people end up in an opposite-sex relationship so they are not in the same boat with us as gays and lesbians.
WCT: People are giving you a hard time about [ transgender people ] ?
DS: I joke about trans stuff. We are not allowed to say tranny anymore. There's the T word and the F word, there is every letter of the alphabet word.
WCT: You started off with "Hey Faggot" at the beginning of all of your columns.
DS: I still use the word "faggot" all the time in my column. Every time that I am on chat shows on cable I make a point of using fag in reference to myself because I don't think it is a dirty word. I don't think we should be stupid about it.
WCT: How is your family doing?
DS: Good. [ Son ] D.J. is getting older. Things are fine.
WCT: You were married before Prop 8?
DS: We were married in Canada five years ago on our 10th anniversary. We slipped into Canada, got married and then went to our anniversary party where no one knew it was actually our reception. It was a secret wedding reception.
Dan Savage will be appearing at Illinois Caucus for Adolescent Health's 5th annual event, "Let's Talk about Sex" Tuesday, June 15, at the Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E. Washington, 5-9 p.m. Tickets are $100-$150 each; for more information and to purchase tickets, visit icah.org .
