Millions—especially in the LGBT community—know Hal Sparks best as Michael Novotny from the Showtime series Queer as Folk. However, Sparks is taking a break from acting to return to one of his other loves, comedy, as he embarks on a tour of stand-up venues. The actor/comedian/musician—who grew up in Winnetka—recently talked with Windy City Times about Kentucky, his band ( Zero 1 ) , Michael Richards and making love in front of people.
Windy City Times: I was reading about you growing up and was surprised, because I thought you were born in Chicago—but you're actually a southern boy.
Hal Sparks: Yeah, I grew up in Kentucky. I came to Chicago to get straightened out—to buff out the rough edges. [ Laughs ]
WCT: However, I also saw that you almost died four times during your childhood. What happened?
HS: The biggest one was when I was in a coma when I was five years old. My sister was on prescription medication for a mild nervous disorder. She took half a pill every three days; they tasted like mint and I ate 12 of them. I was in a coma for five years.
My mom said that after the coma it was like, 'old Beatle, new Beatle.' I was always a chatty, smart kid. After that, I was funny.
WCT: So you owe your career to overdosing?
HS: Doesn't everyone? [ WCT laughs ] At least they owe their comebacks to it. I just had mine when I was five. Usually, people do it when they're in their late 40s.
WCT: Well, now it's in their 20s.
HS: Yeah. [ Imitates young starlet ] 'I'm on my third comeback. My manager said that I should schedule it when I'm 27—but I'm so busy then.'
WCT: Britney Spears is staging one, it seems.
HS: Yeah, that's true—although what she's really doing is 'returning to the scene after having her baby.' Women get off scot-free in that area. She definitely was a drunk idiot who ruined her career, but she can write it off on the kid. Some people handle postpartum in one way, some in another; some throw their kids in dumpsters while others party with Paris Hilton. [ WCT laughs ]
WCT: And Paris has compared herself to Marilyn Monroe and Madonna in saying they're iconic blondes.
HS: I don't know if that's her blowing herself up or her putting down our generation. There was a time when a buxom blonde was the Aphrodite of the times, but now we draw a stick figure, put a mop on it, give it a dog and say, 'That's cool.' Her singular claim is that of a rich chick who gives head—and that's what's attractive, even to the women.
WCT: You don't drink alcohol and that goes back to your childhood.
HS: Yeah, I never have—mainly because of martial arts [ which Sparks practices religiously ] . I have an issue with anything that's considered socially mandatory: 'We all do this.' 'Why?' 'I don't know—you should do it, too.' [ WCT laughs ] That's bad—that's how Hitler came to power. It's all about things done out of habit: alcohol, church...
[ Speaking of church, ] everybody's fighting to be the last viable religion on Earth. Then the last one will collapse and people will get mad, saying 'But we're killing everybody.' It doesn't matter. There's no difference between Pat Robertson saying that gays and degradation brought the hurricane on New Orleans and a guy with a grass skirt saying that the mountain god is angry when the volcano erupts.
WCT: Tell me about your first comedy club performance.
HS: I was 16. I actually did a bunch of them all in a week. I did Zanies in Chicago. I also did the Clout Club, which [ centered on ] political comedy. I wasn't old enough to vote, and these cigar-chomping old men were giving me the stink-eye because I was saying things about Ronald Reagan. I said, 'Don't get mad at me. I'm 16, and I've already figured it out.'
WCT: That had to be frightening.
HS: It wasn't, actually. There are two things that most entertainers need to remember in order to succeed: arrogance and stupidity. You have to believe that people want to hear what you have to say, and that they'll laugh at it; that's an arrogant thought. Then, you have to be stupid; the odds are totally against you but you have to believe that they don't pertain to you. Later on, [ the important things ] become confidence and focus.
WCT: Regarding Queer as Folk, how did filming that show affect your thoughts about the LGBT community?
HS: I don't think you can go into a project like that if you're not already in the PFLAG crowd. I didn't need my mind changed; it was whatever I could do to change hearts and minds elsewhere. I did AIDS walks and worked for Angel Food for years before Queer as Folk.
Also, my best friend growing up came out of the closet to me when I was 23. When he told me, I knew his dad, who was a typical old Southern man. My friend had to move out of the state and he lives with his husband; I'm not sure his parents know [ to this day ] . But to live in secret from his parents and the community [ is bad ] ; he shouldn't have to live like that. So when Queer as Folk came along and people were saying, 'It might fuck up your career,' I was like, 'Do you understand the kind of change this show could make possible?' When filming the show, all I could think of was that friend.
In a way, we were charging Normandy Beach with this show. I lot of us were like, 'This might kill us'—and I think the gay actors have had a tougher time than the straight actors.
WCT: Because you think they've been pigeonholed?
HS: Yes. I think we're all fighting it a little bit. I did a show with Roseanne last night, and she asked, 'You're not gay? I blogged about this wonderful gay comedian, and my fans wrote back that you're not gay.' I was like, 'We did shows before Queer as Folk, and I talked about my girlfriend. Did you think I was lying?' But that's the thing; that kind of role had a stigma attached to it. But that can't stop you from doing it.
WCT: On a lighter note, do you ever get used to making love in front of the camera?
HS: No. Well, I haven't had one with a woman that was the equivalent of what I've done with a man. The male sex scenes actually got more and more difficult as the show went along. You start to dread them; doing a sex scene, period, is like simulating sex with a cousin on a dining room table at Thanksgiving. It's the most awkward thing—and there are 35 people standing around. They're spraying you with water to make you look sweaty, and they shoot you from certain angles so it doesn't become porn—and so the audience doesn't see that you're wearing a sock on your crank.
I was lucky to work with Bobby Gant. He was a really respectful, smart and talented dude. We knew each other's boundaries, and we were able to create some great cinematic achievement and retain our personal integrity—at least as much as you can in front of 30 people while wearing a flesh-colored sock. [ Both laugh ] Now, I'm scared of nothing.
WCT: You're on a comedy tour. I thought it was interesting that the Zanies site gave your show an 'R' rating.
HS: I have kids in my shows who use worse language than I do. My act might have some goofy sexual innuendo—but it's not mean-spirited, which I think is very dangerous. It's not the words [ themselves ] ; it's how you say them. Michael Richards and Eddie Murphy said the same word; it's how and why they used them that matters.
[ As for Richards, ] he's not a stand-up. Just because you were on a funny series doesn't mean you can stand by yourself and make up jokes. I've done shows with Michael, and they weren't good. He's a comic actor, not a stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedy is a different monster.
WCT: Can you make fun of any topic?
HS: Yes, as long as it's within my honest set of values. I can't make a rape joke in general, unless it's a prison rape joke and it's related to what I think should happen to Dick Cheney.
The rule is that you can only joke up. Poor people can make fun of rich people, but [ not the other way around ] . If a white person makes fun of Black people, that person will get booed and they deserve to be. White people have more money and are in control; no matter what people think of that, it's true. It's like making fun of the sick and infirm; it's not fair.
WCT: You have your own band, Zero 1.
HS: Yes. The music we play comes from '80s metal. It'll be on iTunes on Feb. 1 and they can currently buy it on my Web site ( www.HalSparks.com or www.myspace.com/zero1band ) . There's a song on the album called Indian Summer which [ details ] why I'll never have drugs or alcohol; it's about this girl who died in a drunk-driving accident when I was in high school. As goofy and silly as I am with my stand-up, this music [ presents ] a contrast.
There are certain things you can't tell in every medium. There are things you can write a joke about that you can't make into a song—unless you're Weird Al [ Yankovic ] , who I think is a genius. He's never had an album not go gold—which most people can't say. R.E.M. can't say that.
Weird Al was actually at my birthday party last year. He's the sweetest guy you'll meet in your whole fucking life; he's a vegetarian who's married with a beautiful new baby. Having him at the party was one of those moments that [ confirmed to me ] that I'm really far away from where I've started.
Hal Sparks will be at Zanies in Chicago on Jan. 31 and Feb. 1; Zanies in St. Charles on Feb. 2; and Zanies at Vernon Hills on Feb. 3. See www.zanies.com for more info.
See www.halsparks.com for more about Sparks.