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  NIGHTSPOTS

Confessions of a Nunn
JUDGING A PORN BY ITS COVER
by Jerry Nunn, Windy City Times
2013-01-23

This article shared 2075 times since Wed Jan 23, 2013
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Mountain Tops, Pt. 1 , from Falcon Studios. Starring James Ryder and Levi Madison

Jerry Nunn: Let's forget this cold weather and go hiking!

Diablo: I like the old school cover, very retro.

JN: Reads, "Directed by Bruno Bond." This should be good.

D: I think this cover shows just enough on both sides.

In a wooded glen Danny Palick and Jackson Taylor quickly disrobe.

JN: No dialogue between these two.

D: This one cuts right to the chase.

JN: I think they were attempting to pitch a tent when his tent got pitched!

D: These boys are leaving their socks and boots on.

JN: Jackson is such a twink and that double-pierced ear is not helping the butch factor.

D: Do you see his hole twitching?

JN: It doesn't take Danny long to fill it with his log.

D: He's hammering him like a jackrabbit.

JN: Just throw down a tarp and get to business.

D: I hope they packed their insect repellent.

JN: Yeah, they could get bitten in every crack and crevice.

D: There is no music, just lots of groans.

JN: You can have sex on a tarp, you can have sex on a tree, you can have sex on a flannel, just don't get bit by a bee.

D: You sound like Dr. Seuss.

Brad Foxx and Levi Madison lip lock on a tree out in the forrest.

JN: Into the woods to Grandmother's house.

D: I didn't know you were a Sondheim queen.

JN: Who doesn't love the musical Into the Woods?

D: Levi looks so angry at Brad when he's fucking him.

JN: That big boil on Brad's butt is distracting me.

It's camp shower time in the next scene as James Ryder rinses off.

D: My, he has some nice tattoos.

JN: And a nice pee pee dangling there.

D: He doesn't even notice that Drake Wild is spying on him.

JN: Wild forgot to wear underwear under his shorts.

D: Who goes up to a total stranger showering outdoors and starts kissing them without even an intro?

JN: It could happen in real life. Ever been to a bathhouse before?

D: A few times…

JN: Wild is all wet now.

D: They just found a storage chest to fuck on top of.

JN: That was convenient.

D: Even though there was no talking the acting seemed natural.

Tate Ryder and Sebastian Rossi carry their cooler into a secluded area.

JN: His name is Taint Ryder?

D: No Tate Ryder!

JN: Where do they come up with these porn names?

D: There is a game where it's your first pet's name and the street where you were born.

JN: I thought that was how you come with your drag queen name.

D: Who knows these days?

JN: Look at those cut-offs and ripped jeans.

D: Since there's a bench let's just throw down a sleeping bag and sixty-nine!

JN: This scene is definitely the hottest so far. Check out the new position. It's the backwards cowboy sideways ride.

D: I think it's called the bridge position.

JN: You say tomato.

D: Once again they keep their mountain boots on during sex.

JN: When does Mountain Bottoms come out?

D: I think they are going to make a sequel to this, seeing that it's called Part 1.

JN: This one could use a few improvements.

D: Like dialogue and storyline?

JN: That would be a start.

Final Judgment:

Jerry Nunn: Crucifix down.

Diablo: Pitch fork down.

Nunn's Rule: Pack insect repellent if you plan on having sex in the woods.

For more Falcon and their Jocks visit www.falconstudios.com .


This article shared 2075 times since Wed Jan 23, 2013
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