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  NIGHTSPOTS

Confessions of a Nunn
JUDGING A PORN BY ITS COVER
by Jerry Nunn
2013-01-09

This article shared 1795 times since Wed Jan 9, 2013
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Business & Pleasure from Lucas Entertainment

Starring Adam Killian and Jeremy Stevens

Jerry Nunn: A brand new column to start out the New Year!

Diablo: 2013 is going to have some dirty days, I can feel it.

JN: The front cover looks very professional.

D: Where do I punch in? That's my kind of job if that's professional!

Our adventure begins with Jimmy Durano interviewing new candidate Mitchell Rock.

JN: I like those pinstripe suits.

D: He just asked if Rock's a team player or not.

JN: He's showing Durano on his boner.

D: Who has a naked man picture on the wall in a business office?

JN: This is an office that's hard at work!

D: Check out Jimmy's dragon tattoo.

JN: You can only see it if his underwear is pulled down.

D: It's crouching Mitchell, hidden dragon.

JN: In business suits there is a lot to strip out of.

D: I think that's the fetish of it all.

JN: Did you notice there is no cheesy porn music?

D: It's so quiet I can hear a cock drop.

JN: There's a rubber tree plant in the office but no ant.

D: He just sniffed his underwear as he took it off Rock.

JN: He's licking that dress sock like there's no tomorrow.

D: Mitch has got a twitch in that ass.

JN: Those sounds that are coming out of him aren't human. He needs an exorcism!

D: The devil is wearing Prada.

Meanwhile at another office across town, a lawyer has his client sign some divorce papers. When the client has no money things are offered in trade.

JN: Wow, Vito Gallo is hung like a horse.

D: But his name means chicken in Spanish!

JN: I've got a hunch he's Italian with that name.

D: And that sausage…

JN: That Vito looks intense.

D: His penis has a huge body but a small head.

JN: He's trying to stuff that Italian sausage into a small hole on top of a desk.

D: That weiner is as red as I am!

JN: He's just as sweaty as you too.

Jessie Colter receives a booty text from Landon Conrad and drops right in.

D: They don't even go to the bedroom in this scene.

JN: That couch is all they need.

D: This couple is really loud.

JN: They are going to wake my neighbors with all that moaning.

D: It's almost like a competition to see who is the loudest.

Two engineers work on building plans together.

JN: Good thing they have their hardhats on.

D: The construction worker looks like Big Dick Richie from Magic Mike.

JN: He makes my True Blood boil as a wolf too.

D: He just painted his walls with sperm.

JN: You are so bad, D!

The final scene has Jeremy Stevens making Adam Killian an offer he can't refuse.

D: They just swallowed some kind of pink Viagra.

JN: Leave it to the gays to pop pink Viagra.

D: Well, it did the trick all right.

JN: Even when I met Adam last summer I don't remember a tattoo on the back of his head.

D: Maybe his hair was longer back then.

JN: That angle is nice. Ride 'em, Killian!

D: He made him sign papers after sex?

JN: Talk about sealing the deal.

D: It finished with a little business and a lot of pleasure.

Jerry Nunn: I give it a crucifix up, plus a rosary.

Diablo: Crucifix up.

Find more pleasure than business at lucasentertainment.com .


This article shared 1795 times since Wed Jan 9, 2013
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