Steven Hanley is gay, Catholic and loves his cats. He speaks Spanish and Portuguese, and works as a translator. He has a witty sense of humor, not to mention a Master's degree in Spanish literature from Columbia University.
But that's about it for similarities between Steven Hanley the author and the main character—ironically named Steven Hanley—in Hanley's first book, The Legend of Bushistotle: History's Greatest Philosopher-Warrior-King ( BookSurge, LLC ) .
'How much of the main character is me? There's actually very little of me inside that character,'Hanley said. 'The character is fictional.'
Bushistotle is a charming, satirical parody in which Hanley lampoons the Bush administration, hitting on family values and foreign policy. It is a timely tale of Vatican intrigue and a hapless, borderline-brutal translator forced to write a revisionist history of an ill-conceived ancient war of biblical proportions and the dimwitted mythical Athenian leader behind it all.
Hanley details in an easy-to-read, fun format the recruitment and eventual Vatican imprisonment of his protagonist, Steve. After being recruited to translate ancient Greek based on his deceitful website claiming that he is fluent in the ancient language, Steve lands in Vatican house arrest, forced to write about Bushistotle and the distortion of the mythical leader's record.
'I like to make people laugh; hopefully this book does that,'Hanley said. 'The part of the book that I like the best is him being kidnapped and then held as a prisoner in the Vatican.'Hanley's writing is hilarious, showcased by character's names and their personal character.
Imprisoned, Steve is fed tap water and matzo crackers, with only an Alitalia blanket and bedpan for comfort. Steve is kept on a short leash by Sr. Mary Subjugation and quickly involved in a larger plot aiding Cardinal Lei and Task Force B.S. ( Bushistotle ) in a public relations campaign to canonize Bushistotle and a pretext for war. Befuddled and paralyzed by a brutal Spartan attack, Bushistotle impulsively declares war on Persia in retaliation, thus giving rise to 'The Bushistotle Doctrine of Preemptive Retaliation,'which uses Weapons of Limited Destruction—red tide algae, yellow frogs, gnats, cattle plague, locusts, and more—to disarm the Persians of their Weapons of Mass Destruction—not coincidentally red tide algae, yellow frogs, gnats, cattle plague, locusts, and more. Though proof that Persia possesses these weapons never materializes, Bushistotle is convinced that 'oppressed Persians will know the generosity of Athens once we annihilate them,'he wrote.
'I never believed going to war in Iraq was a good idea, mostly for political and religious reasons,'Hanley said. 'I always thought it would be viewed as a crusade, which it is, and that it would heighten tension around the world. I just thought we were being lied to.
'What really set me off was when Colin Powell appeared before the United Nations,' to claim Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.
'I never trusted the entire process; I think they had it in mind to go to war from the beginning and just made up a story, which was a really, really bad idea,'he said.
Hanley's book weaves a wonderful, adventurous mix of priestly transgressions, family values and more. Steve eventually starts receiving secret messages from his own 'deep throat' warning him of the obvious dangers he faces. Steve struggles to provide his captors with the version of events they seek while looking for ways to smuggle out a translation of events more to his own liking. Steve's captors are so pleased with his translation that an even darker conspiracy is revealed: the Saint Bushistotle Genealogy Project, whose mission is to prove that Bushistotle is in fact related to Jesus Christ.
'I've had a lot of support for the book from the LGBT community, mostly because they see what I see: that gay people are being targeted out and placed apart, but at the same time, the Catholic Church is full of gay priests,'said Hanley.
