"The old woman finally died."—Billy Masters left this as a voice message for a friend. Said friend was sure I meant Barbara Walters. But BW will outlive us all, much to the chagrin of her handsome daughter, Jackie.
The queen is dead. Long live the king. It just occurred to me—for the first time in my life, people will be singing "God Save the King."
Even on the day of her death, Queen Elizabeth II was upstaged by a drag queen. Yes, Dancing with the Stars announced its new list of "stars" for this first-ever Disney+ season. And the big news is DJ Pierce—yes, Shangela—will be competing … and partnered with a man! If ever I had a reason to be jealous of Shangela, it's that she'll be dipped by Gleb! This might have been newsworthy had that brat not competed last year. Other celebs include Wayne Brady (who I predict will be a finalist), Jason Lewis, Sam Champion and even Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child from that maid! I'm thrilled that Louis van Amstel will return to train Cheryl Ladd. A friend reminded me he always gets partnered with the old ladies. I reminded him that Barbara Walters is still alive—and loves to dance!
Last week was the culmination of a dream for Lea Michele—to appear as Fanny Brice in Funny Girl on Broadway. According to reports, she got four standing ovations in the first act alone. Several recordings from the night have surfaced, which prove that she can sing the role well—at least for now. I wasn't there, so this isn't a review. But I am told her assumption is very much like a Streisand tribute show—and that's neither bad nor good. Nor is it without precedent. The first national tour of Funny Girl was led by Marilyn Michaels, who not only could sing but was also a gifted impressionist—specializing in Babs. Maybe that's what Lea has going for her. I hear the show certainly has more life, the tempi are generally brisker and it's all just a bit like … well, you all saw the movie. Alas, after a handful of shows, Michele is already out. She'll miss at least 10 days because to a positive COVID test. Or maybe she's a second-rate diva who can't sustain. In the meantime, listen to her renditions on BillyMasters.com .
Then there's Spit-Gate. We're referring to reports that Harry Styles spat on Chris Pine as he took his seat at the Venice Film Festival. Pine was already seated when Harry arrived and kinda leaned over Pine's lap. You don't see any saliva, but you do see Pine look down in his lap, and shoot a look that says, "Really??" Of course, Styles has no reputation of such behavior previously. A rep for the film said it's "an odd online illusion that is clearly deceiving and allows for foolish speculation." And what's wrong with that? Styles even played along at his next concert, saying, "This is our tenth show at Madison Square Garden. It's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful to be back in New York. I just popped very quickly to Venice to spit on Chris Pine." Check out the videos on BillyMasters.com .
Our "Ask Billy" question came from Kurt in Los Angeles: "What is this feud between Billy Eichner and Joel Kim Booster about?"
Many people believe the problem started when Entertainment Weekly put both Eichner and Booster on their cover with the caption "Redefining the Rom-Com." Personally, I don't think Billy enjoyed being lumped in with Booster. So when he got a solo cover on Variety, he crowed about how his film Bros was historic because it's a gay film being released by a major studio for theatrical release instead of "some streaming thing which feels disposable, or which is like one of a million Netflix shows."
Many took this as a dig against Fire Island—a gay film starring Booster on Hulu (close enough). Booster had this to say: "It seems like [Billy] was pretty inarticulate in his excitement about his movie getting a theatrical release, which is really fucking cool and something I'm sure the studio and his publicist is making him constantly talk about. God knows I've said plenty of dumb shit without a publicist's help." He added, "I'm excited to see Bros on the big screen and wish Billy nothing but the best. I truly hope you can enjoy both or neither of our movies without pitting them against each other." Eichner then clarified that he was "not at ALL referring to the quality" of these other projects, gave kudos to Joel and ended with "we are all in this together." Early reviews are largely positive.
When Eichner's trying to top Booster (as if), it's definitely time to end yet another column. It's a little bit funny: Last week we were talking about the 25th anniversary of Princess Diana's funeral, and now we have another royal funeral upon us. While I try to lock in my date for the festivities, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that's anything but disposable. Of course, I'm currently in Europe and didn't pack my black jock strap. If you have a suggestion of appropriate attire, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before somebody (other than Jonathan Groff) calls Lea "the new belter!" So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
