"Honey, turn that clock off; I ain't paying no attention to it. Turn it offturn it off!"Debbie Allen during her acceptance speech for the Governors Award at the Primetime Emmys.
Four co-hosts go in, two come out. Am I the only one who thinks The View is turning into Thunderdome? The live show began Sept. 24 with Joy, Sara, Sunny and Ana. (Whoopi was already felled with sciatica.) When the second segment started, Joy Behar's introduction of Vice President Kamala Harris was stopped by producers instructing Hostin and Navarro to leave the table "for a second. We're going to bring you back later." Joy tried to continue, but was told to go to a commercial. After the break, Joy revealed that both Sunny and Ana tested positive for COVID and left the studio. While the staff scrambled, Joy and Sara took questions from the audience. After two such segments, it was announced that the vice presidentwho was still in the buildingwould not sit with the co-hosts. Instead, out of an abundance of caution, she'd talk to them for 10 minutes from a remote studio in the same building. This begged the question: Couldn't Sunny and Ana, who were critical of the treatment of the Haitian refugees, participate via the same setup? Adding to the murkiness, subsequent tests on Sunny and Ana were negative.
Joan Rivers may no longer be with us, but she lives on in a variety of ways. Her books, jewelry and comedy specials ensure that she'll be a presence for generations to come. Hot on the heels of HBO's Hacks (which is loosely inspired by Auntie Joan's life), Showtime has announced plans for a limited series. The Comeback Girl will find Kathryn Hahn in the role of Rivers. The series has been described thusly: "Trailblazer. Adored. Cruel. Diva. Joan Rivers had a life like no other. At age 54, she was a superstar comedienne … and then it all fell apart. The Comeback Girl is the awe-inspiring untold story of how Joan Rivers persevered through near suicide and professional abyss to rebuild herself and her career to become a global icon." So, they'll focus on her firing from The Late Show on FOX, her husband Edgar's suicide and her "comeback."
Anthony Rapp's case against Kevin Spacey just took a fascinating turn. As you may recall, Spacey tried to get the abuse charges thrown out of court because Rapp's co-defendant refused to go public with his identity. Anthony is prevailing alone, which led Spacey to hire a psychologist to evaluate Rapp. This professional claimed that "Rapp displays narcissistic personality traits, in that he has an excessive need for admiration, has a grandiose sense of self-importance and believes that he is special." In other words, he's an actor! Who knew Ant and I had so much in common? Spacey's expert also believes that Anthony "generated and perpetuated a false memory" and has "resentment [toward] closeted gay actors." Rapp countered by asking the court to allow him to call witnesses to verify that his account of the Spacey attack has been consistent all of these years.
Provincetown is usually quiet in the fall. But the city just approved location shooting of Bro"the Billy Eichner film being touted as the first gay rom-com from a major studio (with the primary cast composed solely of openly gay actors). Billy's love interest will be Luke Macfarlane. According to the permit, the twosome will be seen walking down the street, going to the Toys of Eros erotica shop, having pizza at Spiritus, going to The Boatslip and watching the sunset behind The Canteen. The only thing missing is a stop by the legendary Dick Dock; however, the permit does call for the couple to visit a fudge shop.
Within a few months of moving to Los Angeles, I was invited to an estate sale at the home of Cassandra Petersonbetter known as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. I eagerly attended but, alas, there was nary an Elvira nor a Cassie in sight. At the time, she was going through a divorce from her husband/manager. I now know that this sale also coincided with Peterson's personal journeyone that would lead her to a same-sex relationship which has endured these past 20 years. She's never addressed the issue publicly because she didn't want to alienate any fans. But she says this in her new memoir, Yours Cruelly, Elvira: "I'm very aware that there will be some who will be disappointed and maybe even angry, but I have to live with myself, and at this point in my life, I've got to be truthful about who I am."
Our "Ask Billy" question is a healthy diversion. Brandon in San Diego writes, "I saw some photos of Liam Hemsworth at the beach and his package looked enormous. I don't suppose he's ever shown the family jewels."
Alas, no. However, you did whet my appetite, so I went looking for the photos in question. That is a very healthy bulge indeed. But, I caution yousometimes a package of that size is low on meat and high on potatoes. Those of you not eschewing carbs can check him out on BillyMasters.com .
When I'm considering carb-loading, it's definitely time to end yet another column. By the time you read this, I should be back on sovereign soil (God willing), specifically the Filth2Go Beach House in Fort Lauderdale. While I recharge, you can keep up on BillyMasters.comthe site that never holds anything back. If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Barbara Walters comes out of retirement to fill in on The View. Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.