"We can say 'I do' when you can too!"—Kylie Minogue and fiance Joshua Sasse vow to not get married until gays in Australia also have the right. While I appreciate the sentiment, the last high-profile couple who said that was Brad and Angelina—and we all know how that turned out!
As we go to press, the Trump/Clinton debate is beginning without an opening handshake. How could you blame Hillary? She's probably worried Donald will reach for her pussy. Yes, that's where the presidential race has gone. And it's all because of Nancy O'Dell! Comments Trump made to Billy Bush on a hot mike way back in 2005 somehow went public. Regarding my dear O'Dell, he said, "I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved on her very heavily. ... I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn't get there and she was married. And all of a sudden I see her and she's got the big, phony tits. She's totally changed her look." All the while, Billy Bush is giggling like a schoolgirl—he's since been suspended by NBC. But a different Billy is laughing now because the time Trump saw a transformed O'Dell was at the 2004 Emmy Awards. And who was with Nancy that night? Your humble scribe, that's who. And the photos are on BillyMasters.com .
Getting back to that incriminating audio ( made shortly after the Emmys ), Trump sees actress Arianne Zucker and says to Bush, "Whoa! Whoa! I've got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her." If nothing else, this brought attention to Tic Tacs, a mint I think is as relevant as Certs with Retsyn! Trump followed up his Tic Tac comment with this: "I'm automatically attracted to beautiful [women]. I just start kissing them, it's like a magnet. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything." It sounds like Miss Universe got off easily. In fact, it sounds like Trump gets off easily, but that's another story.
But that's not the most shocking story of the week from a Republican. That honor must go to Mike Yenni, a lieutenant with the US Navy Reserves and Jefferson Parish President. Last week, it was revealed that the conservative Louisianan had been sexting a 17-year-old boy. Two years ago, when Yenni was mayor of the city of Kenner, he met the boy at a Catholic high school graduation lunch. Yenni then tracked the boy down to his place of employment—a mall food court!
The two spent some private time making out in the mall bathroom, where Yenni presented the boy with some designer underwear. Yenni then sent a text asking if the boy had worn the underwear—and asked to see a photo of him modeling them! Eventually, Yenni proposes a sexual encounter. Then he suggests a three-way with an older boy. The now-19-year-old boy claims that they never had sex. Even if they did, it would not have been illegal, since the age of consent is 17 in Louisiana. The boy told Yenni when they started texting that he was 17. Yenni's response? "I know the laws." Reports now claim that Yenni sexted with at least eight males on parish-funded phones. Under pressure from his constituents, he is encouraging a full investigation and is refusing to step down ... for now.
Time for yet another Finding Prince Charming update. In last week's episode, our former rentboy planned a masquerade ball and asked the suitors to design masks that reveal a secret that they've kept hidden. Oh, goodie, goodie—finally Robert's escorting past will come out. And maybe the guys will gather round to watch the videos you've all seen on BillyMasters.com . Although Robert doesn't want the guys to have any secrets, it becomes clear that he's not gonna reveal a thing.
But, wait—we travel back in time to 1996. Yes, because it would have to be at least 20 years ago that well-travelled gays in their 30s and living in a thriving metropolis would consider it a BIG secret to reveal they are HIV-positive. Of course it's still a big deal, but it isn't the death sentence it was two decades ago. So Eric ( the hairdresser living in LA ) makes this big revelation to Robert ( the hooker ). Of course, Robert picks Eric for the one-on-one date because, if he doesn't, he'll look worse than he is ... if that's possible.
On that date, Robert shocks us by making a big revelation of his own. He can identify with Eric's struggle because—get ready for it—Robert cared for an uncle who died of AIDS in the '90s. My God, he's the next Mother Teresa—give him the Nobel Peace Prize right now! And, in case we didn't know it was no longer 2016, Robert kisses Eric's hand not once but twice. Yeah, after Eric just revealed he is HIV-positive, Robert's kissing him on the hand didn't feel awkward at all!
John Stamos recently made his debut on Scream Queens. He grabbed our attention with a slo-mo shower scene in the first episode. The following week, he was once again in the shower, but this time totally nude with mega-hot Glen Powell. "I felt used and I loved it," says Stamos. You'll love it too, when you see it on BillyMasters.com .
Pietro Boselli, who is known online as the world's hottest math teacher, recently took part in a photo shoot where he wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. The pictorial ( called "Ladies & Gents N °57" ) also featured some chick named Ymre Stiekema. But you'll definitely want to get to the bottom of Boselli on BillyMasters.com .
This leads perfectly into our "Ask Billy" question. Terry in Rhode Island asks, "I heard the paparazzi got shots of Tom Brady sunbathing in the nude. True? Do you have the photos?"
True and yes. I hasten to add that Tom attempted to employ a well-positioned towel. But it wasn't that well-positioned, as we found a photo that captures what we're calling a dick-slip! There's definitely nothing deflated about his assets, which you can see on BillyMasters.com .
When our winning hand features three asses, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Of course, you may need to use both hands when you're checking out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that always delivers at least five studs ... and sometimes an ace in the hole! If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Trump takes down another Bush. Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
