"I recently had hernia surgery. My dick was so big, black and swollen, I had to fight those Kardashians off with a stick!"—Leslie Jordan. I bet with these attributes, he'd be fighting the gay boys off with a stick, too.
You kids out there may not know this, but gays weren't always on television. These days, every show eventually trots out a gay character—usually a persnickety type often portrayed by Wilson Cruz, Alec Mapa, Jai Rodriguez or Rex Lee. If I didn't know them personally, I'd swear they were the same person. The roles they play are so alarmingly similar, surely one of these talented gents could handle them all—and still have time to occasionally fill in for Rachel Maddow! Anyway, my point is that in the long history of television, gays are a relatively new addition.
And much of the credit for that visibility must go to Will & Grace. This was really the first TV show with gay leading characters that was a hit. Sure, it wasn't perfect, and some of the characters perpetuated some stereotypes. But the show also reflected a number of issues that were going on in the real world. So, who better to help inspire people to vote than Will and Grace and Jack and Karen ( with a little help from Rosario )?
The cast reunited to film a mini-episode, and they slipped back into their roles seamlessly—with the exception of Mullally's now-red hair. While it is unlikely that the characters and the apartment would not have changed in the decade since the show went off the air, the episode picks up where the series left off—save for Jack opening the refrigerator and exclaiming, "Why does everything in there look 10 years old?" Although it sounds like they are using a really horrible laugh track, that won't keep me from posting the full video on BillyMasters.com . While the thrust of the episode appears to be pro-Hillary Clinton, it is actually called #VoteHoney. Debra Messing clarified that message in a tweet: "No; it was for #VoteHoney. [Jack] wasn't going to vote. Karen was for Trump, W&G were for HRC. Msg was you HAVE to vote. Sitting out is not OK." OK.
Time for our Finding Prince Charming update. And I am shocked—yes, shocked! I went on record saying that Paul Hollowell—the guy with the dead ex—would be the winner. WRONG! Paul is history. The die was cast when they were in the gym and Robert saw Paul struggling to do crunches. Robert was surprised—after all, Paul's got a hot body. Then came Paul's confession: "I basically told my trainer, 'I don't do anything with my muscles, so I don't need something functional. I just need something that looks good.'" Truer words were never spoken. But Robert was taken aback—you'd think he'd be used to being taken from the back by now! He felt all along that Paul was very reserved and a perfectionist and would like to see him more relaxed and unguarded. Well, this only makes sense. How could someone with Robert's colorful past ( which is documented by numerous videos on our website ) be with someone who is perfect? After the fact, Paul posted the following cryptic post online: "I didn't realize that one of the other guys was there for one reason: to win at any cost." Any guesses?
Remember when I told you about the auction of Truman Capote's ashes? Well, there's half his ashes ( hopefully the bottom half ). At the time, Julien's Auctions had estimated the ashes from the estate of the late Joanne Carson would go for $4-6K. In a shocking turn of events, the ashes went for $45,000! The new owner, who wishes to remain anonymous, has pledged to take the ashes with him around the world, which is in line with what Capote asked Carson to do. "He told her he didn't want to sit on a shelf," said Julien.
Someone who I think would make a kick-ass Truman Capote is our very own Leslie Jordan. For now, he'll have to settle for appearing on American Horror Story. He turned up last week as Cricket, a psychic from New Orleans. Needless to say, he was a welcomed presence, indeed. Alas, he won't be a season regular. Leslie tells me he's only in one more episode. But it's a doozy. "Lady Gaga makes me fuck her!" Must See TV, indeed!
I caught up with Leslie at the annual Gay Days Anaheim last weekend, which was a smashing success. It's hard to believe that this tiny little event which started with a couple dozen friends ( including moi ) going to Disneyland in 1998 has turned into an annual event which attracts thousands of people from around the world. The centerpiece of the festivities was a performance by Steve Grand at the Kingdom party. Although he didn't take off his shirt onstage, he showed quite a bit of skin at the Plunge pool party the next day. You can check out pics on our website. And while online, check out GayDaysAnaheim.com . Kudos to everyone involved.
Let me get back to Leslie for a moment. I got to see his latest one-man show, Straight Outta Chattanooga. The titles of these shows are almost inconsequential since the stories change night to night depending on Leslie's mood. So if you go to see him multiple times, you will NEVER see the same show twice. At this particular sold-out event, he talked about the now-openly gay singer Ty Herndon. In details that I dare not share ( but Jordan will tell you if you go to his shows ), Leslie reveals that Herndon has a 12-inch penis. I'll let you chew on that for a while...
When Ty's more than just a little bit country, it's definitely time to end yet another column. We ran SO long. And I had a great "Ask Billy" question to share with you—which included a celebrity nude. I guess it'll hold till next time. But maybe it will turn up early on www.BillyMasters.com—the site with no limits. If you have a question, I'm always here for you. Just send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Leslie Jordan is cast in a revival of Tru. So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
