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  NIGHTSPOTS

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2016-03-30

This article shared 2005 times since Wed Mar 30, 2016
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"I'm fairly new to modeling but I've been a performer for many years in musicals, concerts and the like. I am a singer/songwriter first but I feel it's time for me to try my hand at modeling."—Steve Grand's post on a website while looking for modeling work a couple of years ago, under the name Finn Diesel. More on that later...

Years ago, I worked with a very famous performer—a true triple-threat. Make that a quadruple-threat, because my life would often be jeopardized if I questioned anything this person said. This was difficult when I heard complete fallacies being spoken in interviews. I once tried to privately correct some of the inaccuracies—I was told that the facts were wrong. This person went from claiming to have been "almost nominated for an Oscar" ( How are you "almost nominated?" ) to later describing how it felt to have been nominated. Years later, I saw a TV interview where this person talked about WINNING an Oscar. When nobody questions you ... the truth becomes irrelevant.

That was a long-winded way to get into a story about Adam Lambert. The pop star has had one of the most erratic career trajectories I've ever seen. After languishing for years in musical theatre, he enjoyed a meteoric rise on American Idol. He may have come in second, but trumped Kris Allen in his post-AI career. Then, the inevitable lull. He rebounded as the front man for a reconstituted Queen, which brought him a huge payday. But without new material of his own, he risked becoming a tribute artist. His most recent solo effort was well-received, but the ensuing tour did poorly—many dates played to paltry audiences even after tickets were discounted to low double-digits on Goldstar.

Now he prepares to fill yet another legendary singer's shoes—Meat Loaf's in The Rocky Horror Picture Show Event. But Adam claims this wasn't the role Fox wanted him to play: "They actually asked me early on—this is sometime last year—to look at the role of Frank-N-Furter. I was really flattered, and I thought, yeah, that could be quite fun. But [with my] schedule, [it was] just not looking likely. And on a side note, I kind of felt like in 2016, to be cis and playing the role of a trans character, it felt inappropriate to me. ... I think casting Laverne [Cox] was so brilliant." Because, eh, transvestite, transsexual—it's all the same, right?

If ever Pantene revives its "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" campaign, might I suggest Steve Grand as the new spokesperson? Poor Steve. He's just too pretty for his own good. Now, there may be some people out there who don't know who Grand is. He's an out-and-proud singer whose campaign to finish his All American Boy album became the fourth-most-funded music project in Kickstarter history.

But the body of work Grand is best known for is his body. To be fair, Grand is a very good-looking guy with an amazing physique, which he has flaunted to acclaim with selfies, workout videos and underwear shots. And why not show it off—especially if it translates into attention and money. But that comes with a price. In a widely circulated interview, Steve made some of the following statements: "I'm such an easy person to target. Young, good-looking, white, gay men—we love to hate those people;" "I take my music seriously. I'm a good musician and I'm a good performer and I also like to work out my body and show it off sometimes. It's a fleeting thing; when I'm 50, I'm not gonna look like this;" "I never was a model. I never got paid for any of it. I'm just another guy who has photos online of me in my underwear and that's really all it is. ... I just wanted to take pictures of myself with my clothes off."

First, some fact-checking: Despite assertions to the contrary, Grand was most certainly a model. In 2010, he did one of his most revealing photoshoots under the name of Steve Chatham—and I assume DNA magazine pays its cover models. There were other risque shoots under the name Finn Diesel. They probably slipped his mind. What outraged fans was that this hot, young, white guy was lamenting his plight and describing himself as a "target." My favorite post said, "Don't hate Steve Grand because he's white; hate him because he's clueless." That sums it up. Grand tried to smooth things over on Twitter: "I say a lot of things. Some of those things don't always come out quite right. I can do better, and I'm going to continue to try and do so." As long as he's still showing skin, I'm OK with that. Just don't ask me to hum any of his songs.

I recently told you that Sophia Loren was charging $750 for a meet-and-greet. Apparently, Mariah Carey is charging $700 for a similar experience. But let's be clear—it's a meet and a greet; it's not a touch, hug, kiss or otherwise fondle. Fans in line were told that you walk over to her, stand next to her, pose and move on. Well, you can't blame Mariah. She can barely move since she's always poured into a dress at least four sizes too small, which is ready to burst. You jostle her the wrong way and the whole infrastructure could be compromised! Fans were told that Mariah might touch them if the spirit moved her ... assuming the spirit could move.

Logan McCree is making a drastic career change—he's retiring from gay porn to become a firefighter in Scotland! Logan, whose real name is Philipp Tanzer, was previously an Army medic and wants to continue being of service to the community—which is kinda what he did in his last job. But I digress. He's open about his past, but nobody seems to care. One of his fellow firefighters said, "We would all have preferred it if he was a female porn actress. But he is what he is. ... None of us have a problem with his past. I haven't seen any of his movies, but apparently he's very good. He's just Philipp. He's a damn fine guy." I hasten to add that, despite his gay-porn past, Philipp hopes to marry a woman: "I can only imagine to be in a relationship with a woman." Well, nobody's perfect.

When Scots are putting out fires with their bags and pipes, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Let me remind you that there's even more dish at www.BillyMasters.com, the site that's not afraid to show what's under the kilt. If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Adam Lambert wins his next Grammy . Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 2005 times since Wed Mar 30, 2016
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